New Poll: Only 84 Percent of Protestants Identify as Straight

Disntr ^ | September 19, 2023 | staff

[Morgana]

What a golden age we live in, where even those who lay claim to the name of Christ, pretending to uphold the pillars of the Christian faith toss those very pillars aside like yesterday’s trash. Clearly, or queerly, I should say, the future of the world is, well, queer. A new poll by Ryan Burge, a social researcher and pastor at American Baptist has unmasked the illusion, revealing that only—brace yourself—a whopping 84% of professing Protestants identify as straight. Now, doesn’t that set the heavenly choirs singing?

Clearly, the Bible must be a complex puzzle if so many are getting it wrong. Oh wait, it’s not. From the dawn of Genesis to the apocalyptic close of Revelation, the definition of marriage as a union between one man and one woman is about as ambiguous as a sledgehammer to the face. But no matter, the Apostle Paul’s urgent calls to flee sexual immorality have evidently turned into charming suggestions that can be politely ignored.

In this carnival of modern life, where the words “I feel” outweigh “Thus saith the Lord,” a mere 84% alignment with Biblical teachings practically qualifies as a spiritual renaissance! Never mind that any defection from God’s eternal Word is equivalent to spiritual treason, eroding not just people’s souls but the culture at large. But who needs a civilized culture when you have individual “choices,” right?

Oh yes, “freedom” and “choice”—the twin deities of contemporary life. Meanwhile, the real freedom Christ offers—bound not by our whims but by God-ordained imperatives—is cast into the shadows. How fashionable it has become to be shackled by one’s own desires while believing oneself liberated. After all, why opt for the endless love and wisdom of the omnipotent, omniscient Creator of all things when you can play Russian roulette with your soul?

And let’s not forget the sage words of Romans 1. Paul practically mapped out our current zeitgeist, detailing the ruin that comes when societies gleefully thumb their noses at God’s natural laws. But hey, what’s a little societal collapse compared to the allure of “doing you”?

In the grand finale of this travesty, what the poll really unearths is more than a sociological curiosity—it’s a spiritual crisis. A crisis as glaring as a pimple on prom night. A sizeable chunk of those who call themselves Christians are strolling down the broad path, seemingly unaware or uncaring that it leads to destruction. This is not about clutching at outdated traditions, this is about clinging to the eternal Word of God, the final authority on—yes, you guessed it—all matters. For those of us who still know which way is up, it’s our duty to stand in to defend and proclaim Scripture’s unchanging truths.

[fieldmarshaldj]

That’ll work. ;-)

[Morgana]

I won’t be extorted. Same with Netflix

[Elsie]

Yeah.

My old photos are just gonna have to die in their storage facility.

[wita]

you may want to tell of your observations on this matter.

Let me say this about that. We are headed for S & G II or whatever the destruction number is on the Lord’s timetable.

At the moment I’m a bit more interested in how the corrupt Bob Menendez got targeted by the corrupt FBI, IRS, DOJ, Southern District of New York, for accepting physical gold, cars, etc, in payment for his brand of corruption, when he should have been accepting untraceable cash like Joe Biden.

What will Bob be getting for taking the fall and covering for his President? Surely Justice will be done?

[Elsie]

Surely Justice will be done?

In the end...

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Ecclesiastes 3:17 ESV

I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for there is a time for every matter and for every work.

[fwdude]

Well, “Protestant” includes the perv cults of Episcopalians, Most Lutheran brands, United (Untied) Methodism, liberal Presbyterianism, and other lefty fake “churches,” so that 84 percent number doesn’t suprise.