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From: Ephesians 5:21-33
Duties of Husband and Wife
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[21] Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. [22] Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. [23] For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. [24] As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. [25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28] Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body. [31] ''For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one." [32] This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the church; [33] however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
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Commentary:
21. St Paul here provides a general principle which should govern relationships among members of the Church: they should submit to one another, knowing that Christ is their true judge. At the same time, the Apostle uses this principle to say something about relationships in society, specifically family relationships; in these there is an element of natural dependence--of wife on husband (5:22-24), of children on parents (6:1-4), and of servants on masters (6:5-9). However, although there is an inbuilt natural element of authority in these situations, the Apostle sees it as having a new dimension in the Christian context, for he is acutely conscious of the dignity that belongs to each, and of Christ's lordship over all.
22-24. The basis of the supernatural grandeur and dignity of Christian marriage lies in the fact that it is an extension of the union between Christ and his Church. To exhort Christian married couples to live in accordance with their membership of the Church, the Apostle establishes an analogy whereby the husband represents Christ and the wife the Church. This teaching has its roots in the Old Testament, where the relationships between Yahweh and his people are expressed, in the preaching of the prophets, in terms of the relationships between husband and wife. The husband loves his wife truly, he is completely faithful to her (Hos 1:3; Jer 2:20; Ezek 16: 1-34). God is forever faithful to the love he has shown Israel, and he is ever ready to pardon her (cf. Is 54:5-8; 62:4-5; Jer 31:21-22) and to re-establish his Covenant with the people (cf. Is 16:5-63). Jesus also describes himself as the bridegroom (cf. Mt 9:15; Jn 3:29) and he uses the image of the wedding banquet to explain the significance of his coming (cf. Mt 22:1-14; 25:1-13). He brings into being the New Covenant, which gives rise to the new people of God, the Church (cf. Mt 26:26-29 and par.); and so the relationship between Christ and the Church appears in the New Testament in terms of husband-wife; as the Second Vatican Council put it, "The Church is also [...] described as the spotless spouse of the spotless Lamb (Rev 19:7; 21:2, 9; 22:17). It is she whom Christ 'loved and for whom he delivered himself up that he might sanctify her' (Eph 5:26). It is she whom he unites to himself by an unbreakable alliance, and whom he constantly 'nourishes and cherishes' (Eph 5:29). It is she whom, once purified, he willed to be joined to himself, subject in love and fidelity (cf. Eph 5:24)" (Lumen Gentium, 6).
St Paul is not just using Christian marriage as a comparison to explain Christ's relationship with the Church: he is saying that relationship is actually symbolized and verified between Christian husband and wife. This means that marriage between baptized people is a true sacrament, as the Church has always taught and as Vatican II has repeated: "Christ our Lord has abundantly blessed this love, which is rich in its various features, coming as it does from the spring of divine love and modeled on Christ's own union with the Church. Just as of old God encountered his people with a covenant of love and fidelity, so our Savior, the spouse of the Church, now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of marriage. He abides with them in order that by their mutual self-giving spouses will love each other with enduring fidelity, as he loved the Church and delivered himself for it. Authentic married love is caught up into divine love and is directed and enriched by the redemptive power of Christ and the salvific action of the Church, with the result that the spouses are effectively led to God and are helped and strengthened in their lofty role as fathers and mothers" (Gaudium Et Spes, 48).
When St Paul exhorts wives to be "subject" to their husbands, he is not only taking into account the social position of women at the time but also the fact that a Christian wife, by the way she relates to her husband, should reflect the Church itself, in its obedience to Christ. The husband, for his part, is asked to be similarly submissive to his wife, for he is a reflection of Jesus Christ, who gave himself up even to death out of love for the Church (cf. v. 25). In 1930 Pope Pius XI taught that "the submission of the wife neither ignores nor suppresses the liberty to which her dignity as a human person and her noble functions as wife, mother, and companion give her the full right. It does not oblige her to yield indiscriminately to all the desires of her husband, which may be unreasonable or incompatible with her wifely dignity. Nor does it mean that she is on a level with persons who in law are called minors, and who are ordinarily denied the unrestricted exercise of their rights on the ground of their immature judgment and inexperience. But it does forbid such abuse of freedom as would neglect the welfare of the family; it refuses, in this body which is the family, to allow the heart to be separated from the head, with great detriment to the body itself and even with risk of disaster. If the husband is the head of the domestic body, then the wife is its heart; and as the first holds the primacy of authority, so the second can and ought to claim the primacy of love" (Casti Connubii, 10).
Thus, in contrast with the low regard in which women were held in the East in ancient times (when they were in general seen as lesser mortals), Christian teaching recognizes the essential equality of man and woman: "Above all it is important to underline the equal dignity and responsibility of women with men. This equality is realized in a unique manner in that reciprocal self-giving by each one to the other and by both to the children which is proper to marriage and the family. What human reason intuitively perceives and acknowledges is fully revealed by the word of God: the history of salvation, in fact, is a continuous and luminous testimony to the dignity of women.
"In creating the human race 'male and female' (Gen 1:27), God gives man and woman an equal personal dignity, endowing them with the inalienable rights and responsibilities proper to the human person. God then manifests the dignity of women in the highest form possible, by assuming human flesh from the Virgin Mary, whom the Church honors as the Mother of God, calling her the new Eve and presenting her as the model of redeemed woman. The sensitive respect of Jesus towards the women whom he called to his following and his friendship, his appearing on Easter morning to a woman before the other disciples, the mission entrusted to women to carry the good news of the Resurrection to the Apostles these are all signs that confirm the special esteem of the Lord Jesus for women" (John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, 22).
Monsignor Escriva provides another summary of this teaching: "Women, like men, possess the dignity of being persons and children of God. Nevertheless, on this basis of fundamental equality, each must achieve what is appropriate to him or her [...]. Women are called to bring to the family, to society and to the Church characteristics which are their own and which they alone can give--their gentle warmth and untiring generosity, their love for detail, their quick-wittedness and intuition, their simple and deep piety, their constancy ..." (Conversations, 87).
25-27. Love between husband and wife is also founded on Christ's love for his Church. New Testament revelation fixes this high standard for a husband's love for his wife because the model for this life is nothing less than Christ's love for the Church. St Paul, in fact, expresses this in terms of a betrothed couple, with the bride all dressed up to be presented to the bridegroom: Christ similarly sanctifies and purifies, through Baptism, those who are going to become members of his Church. The sacrament of Baptism, reflected in the words "by the washing of water with the word", applies that redemption which Jesus has brought about through his sacrifice on the cross.
27. 'The Church", Vatican II teaches, "[. .] is held, as a matter of faith, to be unfailingly holy. This is because Christ, the Son of God, who with the Father and the Spirit is hailed as 'alone holy,' loved the Church as his Bride, giving himself up for her so as to sanctify her (cf. Eph 5:25-26); he joined her to himself as his body and endowed her with the gift of the Holy Spirit for the glory of God. Therefore all in the Church, whether they belong to the hierarchy or are cared for by it, are called to holiness, according to the Apostle's saying: 'For this is the will of God, your sanctification' (1 Thess 4:3; cf. Eph 1:4). This holiness of the Church is constantly shown forth in the fruits of grace which the Spirit produces in the faithful and so it must be; it is expressed in many ways by the individuals who, each in his own state of life, tend to the perfection of love, thus sanctifying others" (Lumen Gentium, 39).
28-32. St Paul alludes to the text of Genesis 2:24 which has to do with marriage as an institution and applies it to Christ and the Church. He thereby teaches that marriage, as established by God from the beginning, is already in some way saved, because it is a kind of reflection and symbol of God's love for mankind.
"Receiving and meditating faithfully on the word of God, the Church has solemnly taught and continues to teach that the marriage of the baptized is one of the seven sacraments of the New Covenant [...].
"By virtue of the sacramentality of their marriage, spouses are bound to one another in the most profoundly indissoluble manner. Their belonging to each other is the real representation, by means of the sacramental sign, of the very relationship of Christ with the Church.
"Spouses are therefore the permanent reminder to the Church of what happened on the Cross; they are for one another and for the children witnesses to the salvation in which the sacrament makes them sharers" (John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, 13).
The vocation of marriage is, then, a true way of holiness. The founder of Opus Dei was always very emphatic about this: "For a Christian, marriage is not just a social institution, much less a mere remedy for human weakness. It is a genuine supernatural calling. A great sacrament, in Christ and in the Church, says St Paul (Eph 5:32). At the same time, it is a permanent contract between a man and a woman. Whether we like it or not, marriage instituted by Christ cannot be dissolved. It is a sacred sign that sanctifies an action of Jesus whereby he helps the souls of those who marry and invites them to follow him transforming their whole married life into an occasion for God's presence on earth" (Christ Is Passing By, 23).
The holiness of their family and of those connected with it is very much a function of the holiness of the married couple: "But they must not forget that the secret of married happiness lies in everyday things, not in daydreams. It lies in discovering the hidden joy of coming home in the evening; in affectionate relations with their children; in everyday work in which the whole family cooperates; in good humor in the face of difficulties that should be met with a sporting spirit; in making the best use of all the advances that civilization offers to help us bring up children, to make the house pleasant and life more simple" ([St] J. Escriva, Conversations, 91). See the note on Col 3:18-19.
31. On the indissolubility of marriage see the notes on Mt 5:31-32; Mk 10:1-12; 10:5-9; Lk 16:18; 1 Cor7:10-11.