It's about wanting to escape the hurt, pain, doubt. Doubt in God most of all. When you hate yourself for doubting that God is there or that He hears you or that your life is a mistake He made... then death becomes all the more tempting. Maybe you'll end up in Heaven. Maybe you'll go to Hell. Either is preferable to the pain. If God sends you to Hell, at least He cared enough for that one fleeting moment in His eternal mind to think about you. It's enough of a comforting thought to lead one over the edge or pretty damn too close to it.
I want to believe that He has mercy on those who take their own lives, but otherwise would never contemplate it had their minds not been so wracked with hurt that can't be flicked off like a light switch, no matter how some Christians think it can.
That's a supposition. There's no way of knowing if suicide will end the emotional pain of this life or not.
That said, I have suffered from depression at several points in my life. The pain can be profound.
I married into a family that, it turns out, has a lot of mental illness and depression running through it. I've gotten to know just how deeply their dark spells change them. My empathy for people who suffer through that, people like yourself, is very high. I sincerely hope that you're doing well now. When you feel those dark thoughts, I pray you'll find a way through to the other side without doing anything to harm yourself. People do care.
One of my best business friends lost his direction via alcoholism.
He took his own life with a .38 revolver in a parking ramp near his home at Green Bay.
This was in 1989 or ‘90.
I think about him often.
Sorry for your troubles.
Don’t give up.
This too shall pass.
Try to find and celebrate the good in every day.
None of us knows if Heaven or Hell awaits our end. But we do know that we are called to put on Christ, seek sainthood, love the God of life, and love our neighbor as ourselves.
When I’m in a funk, I try to do something good for someone else; relieves me from staring at my own navel.
God Bless.
It's also a one-way door.
What if it turned out, that the next world is a clear view to all the pain and suffering inflicted upon those left behind, and/or of the knowledge of what was supposed to have been, if only the deceased had stayed with the plan.
It would be a hell of a person's own making. Yikes.
Hang in there everyone, and Merry Christmas.
I think suicide is up in this day and age because Redemption really is right around the corner.
You CAN believe it, my FRiend! He tells us in His word:
The Prophet Jeremiah knew what it meant to be despondent and hopeless, yet...
I will be praying for you that you are reminded of His everlasting love and your hope in Him is renewed. :o)