12 Surefire Methods For Standing Out From The Crowd During Church

Babylon Bee ^ | 3-19-18 | B. Bee

[Elsie]

... you appear to point out huge contradictions staring back at you.

I report; YOU decide.

I cannot say whether you are judging righteously or not.

[Elsie]

When He bless the food for the 4000. He did it silently.

We know this how?

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(Feeding the 5000)
Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, Jesus blessed them and broke them and gave them to the disciples to set before the crowd.
–Luke 9:16

(Feeding the 4000)
And Jesus directed the crowd to sit down on the ground, and taking the seven loaves and giving thanks, he broke them and gave them to his disciples in order that they might set them before the people. And they set them before the crowd. And they had a few small fish, and having blessed the fish, he told the disciples to also set these before the people.
–Mark 8:6–7

(At the Last Supper)
And while they were eating, Jesus took a loaf of bread, blessed it, broke it, and gave it to the disciples saying, “Take, eat, this is my body.” And he took the cup, and after giving thanks, he gave it to them, and they all drank of it.
–Mark 14:22–23

(After the resurrection; on the road to Emmaus with Cleopas and his companion)
And it happened that, as Jesus sat at the table with them [Cleopas and his companion], he took the bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. And their eyes were opened and they recognized him. And he vanished from their sight.
–Luke 24:30–31

 

Blessed: The Gospel writers use two different Greek words to refer to Jesus’ prayers before meals. The first is eulogeo, which literally means “good words.” To speak good words to or about someone is to bless them. When Jesus says the blessing before each meal in these passages, he gives God thanks and praise for God’s blessing upon us: his life-sustaining gift of food.

[boatbums]

The Old Testament is completely irrelevant after the resurrection. The law is GONE. You can literally review only the New Testament.

Did someone forget to tell Jesus or the Apostles about that? Do you not understand that the Law was given as a schoolmaster/guardian to bring us to Christ (Galatians 3:24)? Jesus used the Old Testament to prove His divinity and Messianic claims (Luke 24:27). He also said He FULFILLED the Law, not that it was GONE. Do you believe we should ignore the Ten Commandments? Are they merely suggestions now or should we not lie, steal, kill, commit adultery or worship idols? The Law was NEVER given to save anyone in the first place.

When we come to faith in Christ, we have the perfect law of liberty written within our hearts and our obedience to God demonstrates not only that we love Him but that we live holy, sanctified lives out of gratitude for His unspeakable gift of salvation by grace through faith - not to BE saved but because we ARE saved.

You think we should forget all about the truth and assurances of God's love and wisdom as spoken in the Prophets, Psalms and Proverbs? Are they no longer true? God says he changes not - what He promised to His children will be fulfilled - we can rest in that. Toss out the Old Testament if you like but I will see ALL of Scripture as that which holy men of God spoke as the Holy Spirit moved them/carried them along (II Peter 1:21) and will cherish the WHOLE of God's word.

[Elsie]

https://youtu.be/me2H7Ja93Wg

[Elsie]

Did someone forget to tell Jesus or the Apostles about that?

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INDEED!!

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NIV Matthew 2:5
"In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written:

NIV Matthew 4:1-11
1. Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.
2. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.
3. The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread."
4. Jesus answered, "It is written: `Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' "
5. Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple.
6. "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written: "`He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.' "
7. Jesus answered him, "It is also written: `Do not put the Lord your God to the test.' "
8. Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor.
9. "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."
10. Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: `Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.' "
11. Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

NIV Matthew 11:10
This is the one about whom it is written: "`I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way before you.'

NIV Matthew 21:13
"It is written," he said to them, "`My house will be called a house of prayer,' but you are making it a `den of robbers.' "

NIV Matthew 26:24
The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him.

NIV Matthew 26:31
Then Jesus told them, "This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written: "`I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.'

NIV Mark 7:6-7
6. He replied, "Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: "`These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.
7. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.'

NIV Mark 9:11-13
11. And they asked him, "Why do the teachers of the law say that Elijah must come first?"
12. Jesus replied, "To be sure, Elijah does come first, and restores all things. Why then is it written that the Son of Man must suffer much and be rejected?
13. But I tell you, Elijah has come, and they have done to him everything they wished, just as it is written about him."

NIV Mark 11:17
And as he taught them, he said, "Is it not written: "`My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations' ? But you have made it `a den of robbers.' "

NIV Mark 14:27
"You will all fall away," Jesus told them, "for it is written: "`I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.'

NIV Luke 1:1-4
1. Many have undertaken to draw up an account of the things that have been fulfilled among us,
2. just as they were handed down to us by those who from the first were eyewitnesses and servants of the word.
3. Therefore, since I myself have carefully investigated everything from the beginning, it seemed good also to me to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus,
4. so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught.

NIV Luke 4:17-19
17. The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
18. "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed,
19. to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

NIV Luke 7:27
This is the one about whom it is written: "`I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way before you.'

NIV Luke 10:26
"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"

NIV Luke 18:31-33
31. Jesus took the Twelve aside and told them, "We are going up to Jerusalem, and everything that is written by the prophets about the Son of Man will be fulfilled.
32. He will be handed over to the Gentiles. They will mock him, insult him, spit on him, flog him and kill him.
33. On the third day he will rise again."

NIV Luke 20:17-18
17. Jesus looked directly at them and asked, "Then what is the meaning of that which is written: "`The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone ' ?
18. Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed."

NIV Luke 21:22
For this is the time of punishment in fulfillment of all that has been written.

NIV Luke 22:37
It is written: `And he was numbered with the transgressors' ; and I tell you that this must be fulfilled in me. Yes, what is written about me is reaching its fulfillment."

NIV Luke 24:44-47
44. He said to them, "This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms."
45. Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.
46. He told them, "This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day,
47. and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.

NIV John 2:17
His disciples remembered that it is written: "Zeal for your house will consume me."

 

NIV John 6:31
Our forefathers ate the manna in the desert; as it is written: `He gave them bread from heaven to eat.' "

NIV John 6:45
It is written in the Prophets: `They will all be taught by God.' Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from him comes to me.

NIV John 12:14-16
14. Jesus found a young donkey and sat upon it, as it is written,
15. "Do not be afraid, O Daughter of Zion; see, your king is coming, seated on a donkey's colt."
16. At first his disciples did not understand all this. Only after Jesus was glorified did they realize that these things had been written about him and that they had done these things to him.

NIV John 15:25
But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: `They hated me without reason.'

NIV John 20:30-31
30. Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book.
31. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

NIV Acts 1:20
"For," said Peter, "it is written in the book of Psalms, "`May his place be deserted; let there be no one to dwell in it,' and, "`May another take his place of leadership.'

NIV Acts 7:42
But God turned away and gave them over to the worship of the heavenly bodies. This agrees with what is written in the book of the prophets: "`Did you bring me sacrifices and offerings forty years in the desert, O house of Israel?

NIV Acts 13:29
When they had carried out all that was written about him, they took him down from the tree and laid him in a tomb.

NIV Acts 13:32-33
32. "We tell you the good news: What God promised our fathers
33. he has fulfilled for us, their children, by raising up Jesus. As it is written in the second Psalm: "`You are my Son; today I have become your Father. '

NIV Acts 15:15-18
15. The words of the prophets are in agreement with this, as it is written:
16. "`After this I will return and rebuild David's fallen tent. Its ruins I will rebuild, and I will restore it,
17. that the remnant of men may seek the Lord, and all the Gentiles who bear my name, says the Lord, who does these things'
18. that have been known for ages.

NIV Acts 23:5
Paul replied, "Brothers, I did not realize that he was the high priest; for it is written: `Do not speak evil about the ruler of your people.' "

NIV Acts 24:14
However, I admit that I worship the God of our fathers as a follower of the Way, which they call a sect. I believe everything that agrees with the Law and that is written in the Prophets,
and I have the same hope in God as these men, that there will be a resurrection of both the righteous and the wicked.

NIV Romans 1:17
For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith."

NIV Romans 2:24
As it is written: "God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you."

NIV Romans 3:4
Not at all! Let God be true, and every man a liar. As it is written: "So that you may be proved right when you speak and prevail when you judge."

NIV Romans 3:10-12
10. As it is written: "There is no one righteous, not even one;
11. there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.
12. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one."

NIV Romans 4:17
As it is written: "I have made you a father of many nations." He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed--the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.

NIV Romans 4:23-24
23. The words "it was credited to him" were written not for him alone,
24. but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness--for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.

NIV Romans 8:36
As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."

NIV Romans 9:13
Just as it is written: "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated."

NIV Romans 9:33
As it is written: "See, I lay in Zion a stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame."

NIV Romans 10:15
And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

NIV Romans 11:7-10
7. What then? What Israel sought so earnestly it did not obtain, but the elect did. The others were hardened,
8. as it is written: "God gave them a spirit of stupor, eyes so that they could not see and ears so that they could not hear, to this very day."
9. And David says: "May their table become a snare and a trap, a stumbling block and a retribution for them.
10. May their eyes be darkened so they cannot see, and their backs be bent forever."

NIV Romans 11:26-27
26. And so all Israel will be saved, as it is written: "The deliverer will come from Zion; he will turn godlessness away from Jacob.
27. And this is my covenant with them when I take away their sins."

NIV Romans 12:19
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

NIV Romans 14:11
It is written: "`As surely as I live,' says the Lord, `every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.'"

NIV Romans 15:3-4
3. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me."
4. For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

NIV Romans 15:7-12
7. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
8. For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the Jews on behalf of God's truth, to confirm the promises made to the patriarchs
9. so that the Gentiles may glorify God for his mercy, as it is written: "Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles; I will sing hymns to your name."
10. Again, it says, "Rejoice, O Gentiles, with his people."
11. And again, "Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles, and sing praises to him, all you peoples."
12. And again, Isaiah says, "The Root of Jesse will spring up, one who will arise to rule over the nations; the Gentiles will hope in him."

NIV Romans 15:21
Rather, as it is written: "Those who were not told about him will see, and those who have not heard will understand."

NIV 1 Corinthians 1:19
For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate."

NIV 1 Corinthians 1:31
Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

NIV 1 Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" --

NIV 1 Corinthians 3:19-20
19. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: "He catches the wise in their craftiness" ;
20. and again, "The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile."

NIV 1 Corinthians 4:6
Now, brothers, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying, "Do not go beyond what is written." Then you will not take pride in one man over against another.

NIV 1 Corinthians 9:9
For it is written in the Law of Moses: "Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain." Is it about oxen that God is concerned?

NIV 1 Corinthians 10:7
Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: "The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in pagan revelry."

NIV 1 Corinthians 10:11
These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come.

NIV 1 Corinthians 14:21
In the Law it is written: "Through men of strange tongues and through the lips of foreigners I will speak to this people, but even then they will not listen to me," says the Lord.

NIV 1 Corinthians 15:45
So it is written: "The first man Adam became a living being" ; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit.

NIV 1 Corinthians 15:54
When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."

NIV 2 Corinthians 1:13-14
13. For we do not write you anything you cannot read or understand. And I hope that,
14. as you have understood us in part, you will come to understand fully that you can boast of us just as we will boast of you in the day of the Lord Jesus.

NIV 2 Corinthians 4:13-14
13. it is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken." With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak,
14. because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence.

NIV 2 Corinthians 8:15
as it is written: "He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little."

NIV Galatians 3:10
All who rely on observing the law are under a curse, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do everything written in the Book of the Law."

NIV Galatians 3:13
Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree."

NIV Galatians 4:22
For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one by the slave woman and the other by the free woman.

NIV Galatians 4:27
For it is written: "Be glad, O barren woman, who bears no children; break forth and cry aloud, you who have no labor pains; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband."

NIV Hebrews 10:7
Then I said, `Here I am-- it is written about me in the scroll-- I have come to do your will, O God.'"

NIV 1 Peter 1:15-16
But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

NIV 2 Peter 3:16
He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.

NIV 1 John 2:12-14
12. I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.
13. I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning. I write to you young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I write to you, dear children, because you have known the Father.
14. I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.

[Elsie]

Looks like someone hasn’t much grasp of the NT; either!!

[boatbums]

Yep! Thank u!

[raiderboy]

You know? Its funny. Mant people worship the bible. Did you know that is worship of a false idol. The Bible was aggregated 320 years after the resurrection by about 100 guys at the council of Laodicia . Over 3000 manuscripts were rejected including Bartholomew. He was a disciple with eye witness first hand accounts. They included mostly hear say writing without first hand knowledge that would be rejected in any court of law as admissible. James totally contradicts Paul on the law .James was not a disciple. He was a step brother of Jesus and I have never read it with out concluding he was jealous and taught the Jesus didn’t save anybody and you had to go back to the law. Works have nothing to do with actual salvation. Other books left out included Hermes and Solomon.Why would you leave out the actual book written by king Salomon? Any way .I do not worship the bible and have already shown absolute contradictions and errors. “It is written” must be filtered “by whom” and “what for” . God would not write in errors and contradictions. Many people want to believe that the bible is infallable and that is their problem, not mine.

[Hot Tabasco]

Brilliant!......LOL!

[raiderboy]

“Do you believe we should ignore the Ten Commandments? Are they merely suggestions now or should we not lie, steal, kill, commit adultery or worship idols”?
Let me ask you this. What if you do one or all of these “commandments” ( like David did) . Are you forgiven? I thought we were forgiven? Is that not true? You need to understand what happened at the cross. Let me demonstrate. in Mark 5:20 Jesus says thisFor I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. “ Jesus spoke of the state of salvation BEFORE HE WAS SACRIFICED. After,everything changed.

[imardmd1]

It is apparent how difficult it may be to find and encourage the spiritual growth of disciples in such a culture. Even Paul's discipling of Timothy had the advantage of Bible teaching by his Jewish mother and grandmother.

We can trust that the All-Sufficient God will sustain you according to that same Philippians 4:19 passage, as He did Moses, appointed to do His work.

Let the Adversary beware, and stay far from you as you implement The Lord's interests in Sierra Leone.

[boatbums]

You know, RB, I don’t “worship” the Bible. I worship the one, true God but I recognize that He DID speak to mankind through His chosen prophets and that he DID preserve His word and we can trust what it says. Sans that, you don’t have anything trustworthy enough to base your daily life much less your eternal one. Casting aspersions on the word of God undercuts ANY argument you have might have for relying on ANY of it to formulate a doctrine of faith. You sound like an atheist. Are you?

[imardmd1]

Ejkklesia means “the called out” . Ekklesia does not mean “assembly”. The Greek word for “Assembly” was and is still “Sanhedrin”.

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Strong's Number G1577

ἐκκλησία
ekklēsia
ek-klay-see'-ah

Strong's Lexicon Definition
From a compound of G1537 and a derivative of G2564;
a calling out, that is, (concretely) a popular meeting,
especially a religious congregation (Jewish synagogue, or
Christian community of members on earth or saints in heaven or both): - assembly, church.

Thayer's Greek-English Lexicon Definition:
(1) a gathering of citizens called out from their homes into some public place, an assembly
. . 1a) an assembly of the people convened at the public place of the council for the purpose of deliberating
. . 1b) the assembly of the Israelites
. . 1c) any gathering or throng of men assembled by chance, tumultuously
. . 1d) in a Christian sense:
. . . . 1d1) an assembly of Christians gathered for worship in a religious meeting
. . . . 1d2) a company of Christian, or of those who, hoping for eternal salvation through Jesus Christ,
. . . . . observe their own religious rites, hold their own religious meetings, and manage their own affairs,
. . . . . according to regulations prescribed for the body for order’s sake
. . . . 1d3) those who anywhere, in a city, village, constitute such a company and are united into one body
. . . . 1d4) the whole body of Christians scattered throughout the earth
. . . . 1d5) the assembly of faithful Christians already dead and received into heaven

Part of Speech: noun feminine

========

Well, there you have it. It is now clear to everyone. You do not know what you are talking about. And apparently you cannot come to grips with your deliberate ignorance even though the facts have been presented to you. It would be interesting to find out what your problem is.

If you have a source of information that supersedes this, either show it, or please, stop nagging.

[boatbums]

Sorry, RB, you can’t put forth anything the Bible says about anything as long as you disparage the Bible!

Yes, we are saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone. But we only know that because God has assured us of that truth THROUGH His word. Cast that aside and you don’t have a foundation for whatever you say.

Did God preserve His word - yes or no? Can we trust that what it says IS His word - yes or no? Your quoting of what Jesus spoke is only as trustworthy as the preservation of what “holy men of God spoke as they were moved by the Holy Spirit”. Trash that and you have no base.

[raiderboy]

Ok I enjoyed your opinions. Good luck with that. Take care

[ShadowAce]

Explain how Post #134 is merely opinion, please.

[raiderboy]

The meaning of ekklesia is “ The called out”, in Christ. i.e. the believers. The Greek word for assembly is “Sanhedrin” I told you the definition was commandeered by Christians ( meaning the “institutional “church”. Note in your definition — how could this be valid? “or
Christian community of members on earth or saints in heaven”.
The Greek word ekklesia predates Christianity!That is funny. This absolutely proves my point. Thanks.

[raiderboy]

Do you not know pure conjecture when you see it? My goodness.

[ShadowAce]

I do. I also know a good logical argument when I see it, and he gave you one.

When you throw out the premise (the bible), then you have to throw out the conclusion.

[raiderboy]

the bible is not thrown out by me. It constitutes the only history of the Son of God that we have.It is of particular credence when it is eye witness such as John and possibly Mathew. It gets less so with hear say renditions written 50 years after the resurrection like Luke. How does Luke know a billion degree Fahrenheit star parked over the manger at a thousand feet to guide the magi? Preposterous. This actually hurts Christianity , in my view, because it lacks such credibility. I told you that I do not worship the bible as an idol. Many do. I think that Jesus ,as the Son of our Father,stands nicely without all the errors and incredulity of the book assembled 320 years after the resurrection by a political priesthood, But that is just me. If not believing every word of the bible is a sin, I was forgiven of my sin. Were you?