Tuesday of Holy Week
One of you will betray me. (John 13:21)
Imagine how deeply Jesus must have grieved that a friend would turn on him: Even my trusted friend, who ate my bread, has raised his heel against me (Psalm 41:10).
Earlier, in the synagogue in Capernaum, when Jesus declared that he was the bread of life, many of his followers turned away from him (John 6:53, 66). John tells us that Jesus knew even then that Judas would betray him (6:70-71). Later, at the Last Supper, when he washed the disciples feet, Jesus still had hope that Judas might turn back and abandon his plans.
It also appears that Judas was present when Jesus offered the bread and wine, his own Body and Blood, to his disciples (Luke 22:19-21). So its likely that Judas received the first Eucharist. Still, he refused these overtures from the Lord and held fast to what he intended to do.
The story of Judas is a powerful illustration of how critical it is that we have the right disposition toward Jesus. This is especially true when we receive the Eucharist.
Can you imagine how Jesus felt as he looked at Judas at the Last Supper? Or how he felt every time he caught Judas grumbling against him or quietly siphoning off money from the disciples common purse? He must have been brokenhearted. One of his own was going to betray him. One of his own had rejected his teaching and his will, preferring his own ideas and his own will instead. You can even imagine Jesus weeping over Judas lack of faith. What was Judas thinking? How could he make such a poor decision?
Just as he looked at Judas, Jesus looks at us. He asks us, What is your disposition toward me? Am I the Living Bread that brings you life? Or am I just one option among many that makes you happy?
Lets not make a poor decision here. May we all repent for the ways we have preferred our own will to Gods. May we always come to Communion with an open and willing heart. Lets all echo Peters bold proclamation of faith: Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe . . . that you are the Holy One of God. (John 6:68-69).
Lord, soften my heart so that I can become the Eucharist I eat.
Isaiah 49:1-6
Psalm 71:1-6, 15, 17