I was actually edified to read the pastor's letter in full, and if you have not done so, I recommend it to you now.
The pastor actually invited the young gay man to sing in tribute to his grandmother at the funeral home, the parish hall, at the cemetery or at the post-funeral luncheon. And the man did indeed sing at the cemetery, at his grandmother's gravesite, just as the priest suggested.
The gay man complains that the priest pre-judged him without talking to him, when in fact it was the priest who repeatedly urged a dialogue on the matter.
We can still hope this will occur. It could do a lot toward peace in the Church, and toward the man's well-being and redemption.
Thanks, Mrs. Don-O. I hadn't read the letter, so I'm glad the priest provided some options. Too bad the young man decided to take his offense public.
I've seen Funeral Masses where the priest ends the Mass, then the 'tributes' begin, with various family members, friends, etc. remembering the deceased. I don't particularly like that, but it's clear it's not part of the Mass, itself, so I'd wondered if the Grandson singing AFTER the Mass, but before the body is removed from the Church, might be acceptable.