Bad choice of words... My dilemma is simply this... Two different people can read the same bible... Have a different idea of what they are reading... And both are convinced that they are correct. Without someone else to demonstrate that they might be in error... They will remain nicely in error through no fault of their own. If someone reads some passage of scripture and presents their interpretation to you... And they obviously in error... y what standard do you know they are in error? Your interpretation? Who says yours is right? Who says his isn’t...
There are two answers to your questions, but in order to maintain focus, let’s take them one at a time. First, you raised the issue of birth control, and cited the example of Onan. In post 91, I’ve quoted everything the Bible has to say about Onan’s actions and judgement. It’s not a long text. Please read it, and see if you can identify the sin or sins for which God judged Onan.
according to Pope Benedict XVI, there is a solution... no authority is higher than the believer's conscience. This conscience is guided by the Holy Spirit, according to His promise.
"Over the pope as the expression of the binding claim of ecclesiastical authority there still stands one's own conscience, which must be obeyed before all else, if necessary even against the requirement of ecclesiastical authority. Conscience confronts [the individual] with a supreme and ultimate tribunal, and one which in the last resort is beyond the claim of external social groups, even of the official church" (Pope Benedict XVI [then Archbishop Joseph Ratzinger],Commentary on the Documents of Vatican II, ed. Vorgrimler, 1968, on Gaudium et spes, part 1,chapter 1.).