Posted on 08/31/2015 11:26:42 AM PDT by xzins
True. But I have family members whose spouse has suddenly wanted a divorce. Even though thats not what the family member wanted, and sought to reconcile, the spouse filed and went through with it. Not everyone who is divorced wanted it or played an active part in it.
I hate divorce. But in our sinful and broken world it happens. We should not treat those who have been divorced as pariah’s, that’s not what Jesus does.
Correct, but there does need to be some limits.
I have seen that to (in my own family). My cousin did not remarry until many sessions with her pastor and others.
As I understand Mt 19 and 5, a man doesn’t commit adultery if he divorces an unfaithful wife. The relevant verses are below.
1. Infidelity is an exception. (Mt 19, Mk 5)
2. The infidel is the CAUSE of any adultery by both the former spouse and anyone who marries them.
3. Adultery is against the former spouse (Mt 10)
4. A woman, specifically, is bound to her husband by marriage. (Ro 7, 1 Co 7)
5. Couples in which both parties are Christians are to remain married.
6. Split faith couples must remain together if the unbeliever chooses to stay together. (1 Co 7)
7. If the unbeliever deserts the marriage, then the bond mentioned in Ro 7 and 1 Co 7 is no longer in existence.
Summation:
1. Infidelity can lawfully break a marriage.
2. “Remarriage adultery” after infidelity is the fault of the infidel.
3. Desertion breaks the bond of marriage as if the marriage never existed.
Mt 19:9 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Mt 5:32 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
Luke 16: 18 “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Mark 10: 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
Ro 7: 2 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. 3 So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.
1 Co 7: 10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
1 Co 7:39 39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
2 Co 6: 14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
No, Mom MD, recognizing that God wasn’t in a marriage is not an indictment of God, but of the people who entered into the marriage without understanding what marriage truly is, or being capable or willing to bring God into the marriage.
See #43. Should have pinged you.
Thank you, I did read it. I suppose that my whole issue is: what constitutes unfaithfulness? I don’t accept a narrow, almost Clintonian definition of physical copulation as the sole and exclusive definition of infidelity which justifies a divorce.
I have a friend who was in a hellishly oppressive and demeaning marriage, and who was prone to depression and strong, recurrent suicidal ideation. No attempts were made, but preparations were. During those periods, the spouse would double down on denigrating and belittling abuse, and draw their child into it as well, verbally snotting off and mocking the depressed friend. That level of malice and rejection is infidelity in my book, but that spouse abused scripture to defend the treatment meted out to my friend.
I don’t know. I see so much legalism applied to this subject. Very Clintonian in spirit, much of the time.
There is integrity in determining when we are simply reading what the literal words say on the page. It is not a bad thing to know that.
When we get to interpretation of what those literal words mean in terms of our theology, we must be honest with what is there. It’s important to apply the remainder of the Bible, and, within reason, any insights from the culture.
I think it is important to remember that this was a polygamous society, that even in Abraham’s home, he was being given extra wives by his wives of marriage. David starts with two and gets to five and doesn’t have anything to do with one of them after she insults him. And probably because any child would have been both an heir of Saul and of David, so the tribes would have been hard pressed not to make that child the king.
Paul tells us that Bishops and Deacons can have only one wife, so that suggests that some Christian men had more than one wife.
In the Old Testament, one instance of a concubine being horribly abused by the men of Gibeah, I think, there was a justified war started. Dinah being abused led to the deaths of her rapist and the men of his city by the sons of Jacob. The marrying and giving in marriage of the ante-diluvian inhabitants of the earth was part of what brought on the great flood of Noah’s time. The adultery of David and Bathsheba led to the deaths of both Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband, and the son born to David and Bathsheba.
The marriage promise is not to be taken lightly.
At the same time, God never condones life threatening violence, and permits actions of self-preservation.
To me, violence and real emotional abuse are forms of desertion. If you get forced out of your home by fear of death, how is that different than someone leaving your home? Either way you have been intentionally separated by the actions of the partner.
I just need to be honest that I’m interpreting that from scripture. I’m not reading it from scripture. But it isn’t contrary to scripture.
I understand and appreciate your points. I certainly don’t claim authority in my own musings. A client (from another matter) has asked me to prepare divorce papers. I do so with heavy heart, as I am so fond of each of them, but there is nothing left to work with. I don’t understand, as they are both so visibly caring towards one another, and yet so determined to dissolve the marriage.
Divorce is a bit like death. Discordant, as it is not and never was a part of God’s original plans; inherently wretched and sad; but in some cases a merciful end.
Think what you want, but in this context, the text is addressing physical treatment, not emotional or spiritual fidelity. There is no figurative sense to this. A Hindu woman turning from idols to God has no excuse for leaving her Hindu husband, to whom she still owes allegiance (for instance).
Bingo, Mom!
What is divorce but an "out"?
This may be one of those dichotomies between the New Testament and the Old Testament.
Wouldn't be the first. After all, Joshua had 1000 wives and concubines. I doubt that Jesus would have approved of that.
I think that was Solomon. I don’t recall that being said of Joshua.
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