Posted on 08/16/2015 2:42:05 PM PDT by markomalley
A decade ago Tim Stanley joined the Catholic Church, the culmination of a journey that began with his family’s spiritualism and took in Marx and Anglicanism
Ten years ago this month, I became a Catholic. It happened in the attic of the guest house at Ealing Abbey. There was just me, a friend and a monk, and the operation took about an hour. Afterwards we went for cocktails. I started things as I meant to go on.
I guess the two big questions to ask a convert are: why did you do it and are you happy? Answering the first point is hard. It’s like asking a man why he married a woman. There’s a temptation to invent a narrative – to say, “this happened, that happened and before we knew it we were where we are today”. But the simpler, yet more complex, answer is this: I fell in love.
I was lucky to grow up in a household open to religious belief. My grandparents were Christian spiritualists; Grandma advertised as a clairvoyant. Mum and Dad became Baptists in the 1990s. I remember the pastor one Sunday telling us that evolution was gobbledygook. The teenager in me came to regard the faithful as fools, but I was wrong. I couldn’t see that they were literate, inquisitive, musically gifted and the kindest people you’d ever meet. But I went my own way and embraced Marxism.
By the time I arrived at Cambridge University I was a hard-left Labour activist and a militant atheist. I saw life as a struggle. Salvation could only come through class revolution. The life of the individual was unimportant. Mine was unhappy. Very unhappy. I disliked myself and, as is so common, projected that on to a dislike of others. I’m ashamed now to think of how rude and mean I was. Perhaps I was ashamed then, too, because I had fantasies of obliterating myself from history.
History was my redemption. In my second year I studied the Civil War. I discovered a world more colourful and distinct than today’s. A world of faith; of saints and martyrs. My Marxist sympathy was for the Protestant Diggers but I was intrigued by Archbishop William Laud and his fight to restore the sacramental dignity to the Anglican Church. For some reason I started to visit far-flung churches in Kent. I’d get up at 6am and cycle to a Sunday early morning service at Seal village. It calmed my soul.
I suddenly felt a great need to reconcile myself to something. Because Anglicanism was the only thing on offer at Cambridge (the Catholic chaplaincy felt like an Irish embassy), I asked to be baptised into the Church of England. Anglo-Catholicism was the closest I could get to Laud’s vision of majesty incarnate. But it wasn’t enough. Although I had made tremendous progress, something inside me said that I hadn’t yet reached my destination. Something was missing. Prayer revealed it to be the Catholic Church – the alpha, the rock, the bride of Christianity. I converted quietly in 2005 without letting many others know, including my family. It was like running away to Gretna Green to get married in secret.
Of course, the narrative I’ve given could be something I’ve constructed in hindsight. The journey was never straightforward; there were false starts and I often got lost. I remain uncertain of exactly why I converted at all. But I know I was absolutely right to.
What have I gained that’s unique to Catholicism? Two things. First, structure. When you become a Catholic, you become a part of something much bigger than yourself. I can go to any place in the world and am guaranteed to find a church where there will be a Mass that I will understand and can take part in. I will share with the communicants a faith, a culture and a history spanning two thousand years. When I go to the Sistine Chapel and look at the ceiling, I don’t just see something pretty. I see something that means something to me personally because I believe it all happened. The story of the Martyrs of Compiègne is my story, too – the nuns who were killed in 1794 for their refusal to accept the authority of the French Revolution over their faith. And I understand why the Mexican martyrs of the Cristero War shouted “Viva Cristo Rey!” before their executioners opened fire. As a historian, I no longer just study history. I am a part of it.
Structure plugs you into humanity. If I am lonely or afraid, I’ve got somewhere to turn to. I recently lectured on a cruise ship: eight days at sea with 2,000 strangers. If you’re a shy boy, like me, this could be hell. But I was relieved to find that there was a friendly priest on board. Suddenly, my day had greater purpose (Mass in the mornings). More importantly, I had someone to talk to who understood what I was saying. And through this charming cleric, I got talking to other Catholics who shared the instant warmth that says: “Howdy stranger, I think we might be related.”
We met a lady on board who had a daughter with Down’s syndrome. When she was born people said: “What a pity.” But the Church said she was beautiful and gave the child a role in the community. Now the parish priest is her best friend. There is no judgment in the Catholic Church, only love. I get angry when people paint it as distant or cruel. They simply can’t have ever been to Mass.
The second thing I draw from Catholicism is hope. The consolation of the sacraments. I know that no matter how bad things get, I can always go to Confession, take part in the Mass and set things right again. Every day is a whole new day. And every day offers the chance for salvation. In every second of every hour there is a Mass being said. With each Eucharist, we relive the sacrifice of Jesus. As a young Protestant, I saw the crucifixion as something historical that only happened once and would never happen again. Now I know that His sacrifice is constant and eternal. For people who live with despair, and that’s almost all of us, this promise is astonishing. One of the hardest things to believe is that someone else could love you unconditionally. We Catholics have proof. I suspect that this gift has saved my life. I might have died without it. It’s that powerful.
Conquering your own demons is the beginning of seeing the light in others. I’ve abandoned Marxism (a whole other complicated story) in part because I’ve realised that you can’t save this world by trying to tell others what to do. Politics is impotent compared to a kind word or a helping hand. Not that I’ve become a saint over the past 10 years – on the contrary, I’m more conscious of my failings. When you become a Catholic you find lots of new ways of feeling guilty.
But one way I hope to do good is by telling everyone about my faith. And I do it as often as possible. I tell them that I am exquisitely lucky. I live in a world of mystery, where I get to witness the real presence of Christ every week at Mass. I’ve met clerics of boundless charity and wisdom; the parish priest is one of my best friends, too. I’ve gained a friend in Jesus and a spiritual mother in Mary. When I’m lost for words, I pray to St Francis de Sales. When the seas get choppy, I pray to St Christopher.
Sometimes it doesn’t feel as though I converted to Catholicism so much as my soul returned to it. This is my journey’s end. I am home.
Tim Stanley is a historian and writer for the Daily Telegraph
I'm posting this to other Catholics, not to others. I would make this a caucus thread, but I would have to snip a little too much out of it for the story to make sense.
It is not posted out of disrespect for any other confession. If you are going to criticize Stanley for converting or me for posting, please remember the RM rules on Ecumenical threads.
Beautiful. Thanks for posting it.
Thank-you and God Bless.
While this is a nice story I am always disappointed to not read about the realization one is a sinner and in need of salvation.
The quote that jumps out to me:
When you become a catholic you find lots of new ways of feeling guilty.
From former catholics I've talked too....no truer words have been spoken.
I always thought Christianity was about forgiveness.....not finding new ways to feel guilty.
When he is lost for words....why not turn to Christ??....if He's his friend.
When the seas get choppy...why not turn to Christ??...if He's his friend.
He went from being a child acquainted with Christianity into the bosom of Marxism and found out it was false and then returned to Christianity after finding out its truth for life and the redemption of one’s soul. Blessings to him on his conversion from Marxism to Christianity. (no matter which ‘flavor’)
Give him time to grow in his Christian faith. I’m a long way from where I was in my faith and understanding than I was 40 years ago. And, having once written about my journey, there were things I left out and would write differently today, 20 years later.
When the seas get choppy...why not turn to Christ??...if He's his friend.
To have faith in such cult is mind-blowing. But, the author was into Marxism, and Anglicanism, and was apparently never offered an opportunity to hear the "Good News" (i.e.:Gospel) about saving faith in Christ, not an organization.
From reading this story, I can only conclude he jumped from the frying pan into the fire!
Lots of testimonies and stories on both sides... and plenty of people on bot h sides!
Our faith is in Christ, not ANY organization, if we are indeed followers of Jesus Christ (i.e.: Christians!).
“What have I gained that’s unique to Catholicism? Two things. First, structure. When you become a Catholic, you become a part of something much bigger than yourself. I can go to any place in the world and am guaranteed to find a church where there will be a Mass that I will understand and can take part in.”
While this may be meaningful to the author, it is not Biblical. The diversity of Christian expression in worship is one of the treasures of the Christian faith - in music, praxis and form.
It is worth noting that the church is nowhere described as monolithic in the Scriptures, except in faith.
“The second thing I draw from Catholicism is hope. The consolation of the sacraments. I know that no matter how bad things get, I can always go to Confession, take part in the Mass and set things right again. Every day is a whole new day. And every day offers the chance for salvation. In every second of every hour there is a Mass being said. With each Eucharist, we relive the sacrifice of Jesus.”
While this author may find personal meaning in these statements, I can not find them in the Scriptures. There is only and gloriously the once for all sacrifice of the blood and life of Christ, received by faith and expressed afterwards in actions.
[From the Religion Moderator’s home page: “Contrasting of beliefs or even criticisms can be made without provoking hostilities. But when in doubt, only post what you are “for” and not what you are “against.” Or ask questions.”]
I have a son that is 100% devout Catholic and is very active in the Church, and another son that is going to be a Protestant minister that understands Koine Greek and Hebrew - and both would die for each other and know that both love the Lord, and that He loves them...
Why is it that they love each other so, and those without real personal understanding of Christ’s love for His own can be so quick to say something negative?
Leaves me puzzled.
I go to both Catholic mass (I ask for a blessing for communion only), and Protestant services (I respectfully decline the “symbols” as they say).
We love JESUS. PERIOD.
Going to both Mass and service for many years, I will say this: I have never heard a bad word against Protestants in a Catholic Mass, because the people there are secondary to what is going on. At Protestant services, I cringe at least once a week when the anti-Catholic blades come out.
It is painful, as bothers and sisters in Christ, to hear that.
And, a shame. Jesus loves His own, and by their fruits He knows them.
When you become a catholic you find lots of new ways of feeling guilty.
Here's the way that I look at it: if you are very new in a conversion, the broad strokes (adultery, fornication, atheism, murder, mayhem, theft, etc) are what you feel really guilty about and what you are worried about changing. As you mature, you start recognizing things within yourself that are not pleasing to God that you would have been utterly blinded about earlier.
Consider:
[Eph 4:22 KJV] That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; [Eph 4:23 KJV] And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; [Eph 4:24 KJV] And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
I think that if you'd ask most Catholics, they would say that this is a process, not a one time event. As you continue to put more of the "new man" on, you will need to shed more of the "old man."
That is why even the greatest saints through history made frequent use of the Sacrament of Penance. Not necessarily because of horrible sins that they keep doing, but because even more minor sins / vices become even more offensive as time goes on. And, yes, part of that process is, as you recognize more areas where you fall short, you feel guilt for that.
Christ died for ALL of our sins, not just the big ones.
“Why is it that they love each other so, and those without real personal understanding of Christ’s love for His own can be so quick to say something negative?”
I posted according to the Religion Moderator guidelines for this Thread Designation.
It is impossible to answer your question/statement and stay within the [perceived] guidelines of the designation.
I will note that salvation doesn’t come from loving Christ alone. Without faith in the total sufficiency of His sacrifice apart from our own efforts, there is no salvation.
There are true believers in every denomination and there are “tares” growing up in every denomination. I criticize no Catholic. God can handle that for those who are His. I do criticize teachings that are unBiblical wherever found - Catholic, Orthodox or Other.
Best.
Does understanding Greek and Hebrew make you holy or make you knowledgeable?
Okay, compare (a) a Tridentine Rite Latin High Mass; (b) a Syro-Malabar Catholic Divine Liturgy; (c) a sung Ukrainian Catholic Byzantine Divine Liturgy; (d) a Maronite Catholic Liturgy; and (e) a Sunday Mass according to the 1970 Roman Missal (i.e., the "Ordinary Form") in a typical American Latin Rite parish, and then try to tell me that there's no "diversity of Christian expression in worship" in Catholicism and that Catholicism is "monolithic".
“... and then try to tell me that there’s no “diversity of Christian expression in worship” in Catholicism and that Catholicism is “monolithic”.”
I would encourage you to not stop there, but to understand the pleasure of God in the totality of worship in any and every instance where “two or more are gathered together in My Name.”
“Does understanding Greek and Hebrew make you holy or make you knowledgeable?”
It certainly gives you the tools to become knowledgeable and in particular to eliminate interpretations that are impossible due to language structure.
Does it make you holy? No... unless you apply what you learn using the language tool.
It should be noted that ignorance does not make you more knowledgeable or holy either.
As I said above, I don’t typically post “conversion” threads around here. I think that this is the first one I’ve posted in over 2 years. No matter how delicately they’re written, I find that posting them is utterly toxic. However, I believed that Stanley’s writing was such that perhaps this one could be a source of encouragement for Catholics. Keep in mind that, as I said in post#1, I was actually addressing it to my fellow Catholics. I was absolutely not posting it as an effort to denigrate anybody else.
Because I was posting it to my fellow Catholics, I logically should have made it a “caucus” thread. However, since Stanley mentioned his intermediate stops on the way to Catholicism, I was faced with a choice: either delete the references to those intermediate stops or not make it “caucus.” Had I snipped out the paragraphs where he talks about his intermediate stops on the way, I believe that far too much would have been lost out of his story; thus that was not an option.
I decided that it would be better to make it “Ecumenical” rather than “Open” because, while I never object to respectful discussion, even if that discussion is candid, even forthright, I really don’t see where ad hominems really do anything but to add to dissension. I believe that is the purpose of the “ecumenical” designator.
Just to re-emphasize, as I posted in #1, above, the specific group I posted this TO was my fellow Catholics.
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