Michelle Duggar on Teaching Her Daughters About Modest Dress

19 Kids and Counting ^ | Michelle Duggar

[Laissez-faire capitalist]

Question from a "19 Kids and Counting" fan on Facebook: How have you taught your daughters about modesty

My daughters are the second generation of modest dressing in this family. They've grown up being dressed modestly, and in clothes that are definitely more feminine apparel.

...

[Laissez-faire capitalist]

While I agree with much (if not almost everything) that is said on this page, this point is the crux of the matter and is actually the point that needs to be dealt with:

If some women's clothing is "more feminine" that automatically means that some is "less" feminine, yet still within the parameters of feminine clothing. 2.) Based upon this, there would be some clothing that she would have to argue is "less" masculine than others, yet still within the parameters of men's clothing. Hence, 3.) What then would she define as being less masculine and more masculine clothing?

Ergo, her arguments are morally and culturally relativistic. If she were to say that she believes that what is "more feminine" is just for her - and thus her own personal conviction - yet not automatically scripturally applicable to others, then that would be fine.

We look to the scriptures: the Bible commands men and women to not wear each others clothing, and yet men and women in OT times wore very similar clothing, i.e., robes, but women's had "frills" whereas men's tended to be more bland in appearance. Secondly, the Bible says that clothing is supposed to be modest. If women wear pants that is fine, as long as they are modest and not men's pants.

[Laissez-faire capitalist]

What say you?

[DariusBane]

I say who cares what Bill Gothard thinks.

[freedomfiter2]

What should be the standard for Christian clothing?

[al baby]

Well in her case dressing modestly has made Mr Duggar a very horney and prolific father that say I

[DariusBane]

No “standard” what so ever. That is the point of the New Testament. You have to understand what the word “standard” means.

But i guess everybody could just wear a burka. That would satisfy any conceivable complaint.

[petitfour]

Lol.

[davandbar]

I believe every Christian woman (who wants to follow biblical teaching) has to decide what “modest” and “feminine—not pertaining to a man” means.

Personally, I don’t think I can wear a pair of pants that are modest AND feminine. To me, they are either modest OR feminine—not both.

So, I only wear dresses and skirts that aren’t too tight and fall to me knee. That way, I feel safely modest and feminine.

[right way right]

Christians need to get naked and start multiplying fiercely.

That being said, there is nothing more alluring to a proper Christian gentleman than a modestly dressed beautiful woman who is not advertising her tail to the highest bidder.

[cloudmountain]

Levi Strauss changed all that with the boomers embracing of jeans. Jeans are best to work in, especially in the garden. I often COULD NOT find female-looking jeans and I TRIED, for the life of me, I tried. The zippers were in front, the belt loops were the same. There were NO furbelow's to make ANY difference.
The ONLY difference was in how men and women differently "fit" into the SAME jeans.

The only "modesty" part in jeans is how TIGHT they are. YOUNG people tend to wear the tighter pants and OLD folks are beyond the "tight" look and wear COMFORTABLE, that is looser.

I would also mention that men can wear NO shirt and they aren't as "nekked" as women who are topless. That brings me RIGHT TO THE POINT of the young women in hot weather who ARE basically topless, with their bareness for the world to see. That is antithetical to Biblical dress as well.

Modesty is cultural. Folks in the middle east STILL cover up. They cover up in the HOTTERN HADES countries because it protects them from the sun and heat.
Those middle easterners bring that "style" of dress to wherever they immigrate.

Well, I could go on for AGES since my husband and I lived in Saudi Arabia for five years. We were told (orientation in Houston with ARAMCO) that we had to dress "circumspectly", that is, nothing too short, too tight, too low or see-through. THAT is how MOST middle easterners dress over there.
I'll end here. :o)

[Dallas59]

Wearing piratical clothing is not going to make God mad. Both men and women work today. Jeans are common and worn by both sexes. As long as it doesn’t out right advertise “I’m looking sex”, it should not be a problem who wears what. There norms in dress. Dressing like a Nun isn’t going to work if you drive a forklift.

[al baby]

If you want female looking jeans you need to look in Obamas closet

[Darteaus94025]

It its tight, don’t show skin.
If it shows skin, it shouldn’t be tight.

[MinorityRepublican]

So women should wear burqas?

[afraidfortherepublic]

I saw a picture the other day of a woman in shorts and halter top posing with a life-sized cardboard cut out of Pope Francis in his papal regalia. The picture was taken at a church festival.

It really unnerved me because she wouldn’t be allowed in the Vatican dressed like that. Even though I’m sure she meant no harm, and neither did the organizers of the festival, I felt that it was inappropriate because at quick glance it looked like it really was the Pope snuggled up to this half dressed woman.

[NorthstarMom]

I strongly considered going “dresses only” for my girls and myself a few years ago. Read a lot of scripture and prayed, and decided to not go that route. Maybe part of it was vanity and wanting to not look weird and create distance between myself and others. Mostly, though, I know my heart and know that I can easily slide into the mindset of earning my salvation through works. Also, my husband really didn’t believe it was necessary for us and the Lord would have had to provide the new wardrobe as our budget for clothing is tiny-less than $300/year for a family of 8.

I had a booth at a local farmer’s market this summer that was across from a Mennonite woman. She wore modest clothing but there was little that was feminine about her other than long hair and a dress. She spoke in a blunt and harsh manner, sat like a man, and moved with little grace. The Lord calls women to both modesty and femininity. The Duggars accomplish this and set firm boundaries regarding pants.

For my family, the winter weather, the fact that no one we know (even in our homeschool co-op) wears dresses only, and our extremely tight budget means that right now we wear pants as well as skirts. I just do my best to make sure that our outfits are modest and not masculine.

[cloudmountain]

I saw a picture the other day of a woman in shorts and halter top posing with a life-sized cardboard cut out of Pope Francis in his papal regalia. The picture was taken at a church festival.
It really unnerved me because she wouldn’t be allowed in the Vatican dressed like that. Even though I’m sure she meant no harm, and neither did the organizers of the festival, I felt that it was inappropriate because at quick glance it looked like it really was the Pope snuggled up to this half dressed woman.

=============================================

You were 100% appropriate in your response! It was HORRIBLY inappropriate and the folks in charge of the church KNEW that but let it go. SHAME on them. THEY knew better and were being lazy, sinful, weak or all three.

It's my opinion that many of these girls and young women still in school don't leave home until DAD is gone. DAD wouldn't let their daughters go out dressed like prostitutes, no matter how fashionable it is.

Daughters work on MOM with unrelenting nagging, haranguing, moaning, groaning and otherwise pleading. MOM often caves.
I've been to the Vatican and the officials go through the long lines AHEAD of time to tell the PLETHORA of females who are REALLY stupid/ignorant/arrogant (Pick one.) enough to think that they actually WILL be able to enter St. Peter's dressed like a prostitute/normal for 2014.

-------------------

FOLKS: please spare me the standard caveats: "well, not my family" or "we had no dad." You all get my drift. Thank you.

[Aliska]

What is feminine? Jackie Evancho and Karen Carpenter. Also Kate Middleton but her heels are too high and skirts too short. Haven't seen any news since they announced she's expecting again and had morning sickness.

In the 70's my life was pretty frantic. I had a few tapes and the radio and tv but I wasn't big into popular songs. I do remember the sound of Karen Carpenter's voice and tragic death. But I have gone to youtube and have been watching all the many songs she did with her brother that I missed.

She is just gorgeous. She is not into bleaching her hair or ostentation in any way. Some of her clothes are kind of funky for now but always ladylike. It's a tragedy what happened to her. She is a reminder that we all are one of a kind. Once one is gone, there is never another like them again on this earth. Maybe that is shortsighted; with God all things are possible and many talk of doubles but are their singing voices ever the same?

If I make it to heaven, and I think maybe different levels, I just have this feeling that women will not be showing flesh, don't know about head covering. Definitely no breast enhancements or low necks showing cleavage.

But I am comfortable with a pretty dress (not myself any more but younger women) maybe no higher than at the knees, nice legs, short sleeves with feminine arms and simple but tasteful jewelry. Not too low neckline.

I did wear a strapless formal to a prom years ago because that was the fashion but I wouldn't now and don't think brides should wear them especially. JMHO.

When my daughters were little, I sewed or bought them very pretty, feminine dresses. When they became teens they rebelled and have dressed like crap ever most of the time.

Wow, It worked, didn't expect that, from facebook on my son's timeline. I was 31 at the time just before the divorce. My little son I am holding committed suicide on December 5, 2012. That's why a lot of our old family photos are showing up now after being buried here and there for many years.

The dress I'm wearing is not one of my favorites. and it's hiked up from sitting, not too short.

[marktwain]

I saw a person at a local retail establishment. They were wearing a loose shirt, sweatshirt, and baggly jeans. Cold enough to wear layered clothes.

From the way they acted and spoke, I thought they were an adolescent boy, maybe 16.

I was later told that the person was a female in her early 20’s.

[RginTN]

About jeans, I buy mine from qvc. Theirs are modest that is no low rise in the back but not looking like the “mom” jeans. Also the price is affordable. I can’t imagine paying over $40 for a pair of jeans.

My dad would always comment if my sister’s dresses showed her knees. In church I see women wearing dresses fit for a nightclub and skin tight jeans. I know the ushers want to put a large scarf over these women legs when they sit down!