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Meditation: Romans 13:8-10

23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time

Love your neighbor as yourself. (Romans 13:9)

Have you ever noticed how the commandments that we hear most often are the ones we have the hardest time fulfilling? Take today’s second reading as an example. We all have to deal with people who try our patience or rub us the wrong way. Then there’s the pull of the world, urging us toward a self-centered approach to life. And all the time, we hear in the back of our minds Jesus telling us to love one another, even to prefer one another to ourselves.

This is a demanding call, isn’t it? Like Jesus, we should seek to serve instead of being served (Matthew 20:28). He asks us to take the “lowest place” at the banquet (Luke 14:9). He even warns us that if we strive to be first, we will be last, but if we strive to be last, we will be first (Matthew 20:16).

In today’s readings, God is inviting us to do a little self-examination. How have you done lately in loving your neighbor as yourself? Think about hurtful things you may have said about another person. Think about ways you may have failed to defend a friend or judged someone unfairly. Or maybe you have neglected to help a friend who needed you because it was inconvenient.

These are uncomfortable questions to ask, to be sure. But God knows your heart. He knows how much you want to do good, even though you fail at times. He also knows that he has placed his Spirit in you to give you divine strength and to make changes that seem impossible. So don’t be afraid to open up to him and ask him to help you. Remember: God is love. And that love is generous and overflowing. Let him love you, and you’ll find yourself loving other people more and more.

“Heavenly Father, forgive me for putting myself first. By your Spirit, teach me how to love. Father, unite all your children as one!”

Ezekiel 33:7-9; Psalm 95:1-2, 6-9; Matthew 18:15-20

Questions for Reflection or Group Discussion

(Ezekiel 33:7-9; Psalm 95:1-2,6-9; Romans 13:8-10; Matthew 18:15-20)

1. In the first reading, the Lord tells Ezekiel that he has appointed him to be a “watchman” for his people, to warn them of their wickedness. As a Christian, in what way has the Lord called you to be a watchman to speak out against wickedness in our society? Do you do this? Why or why not?

2. The response to the responsorial psalm is, “If today you hear his voice, harden not your heart.” How easy it is for us to ignore the many words of Scripture we hear at Mass or in our times of prayer and Scripture reading. What steps can you take to be more alert to the Lord’s words to you through Scripture or his promptings during your day?

3. In the letter to the Romans, St. Paul writes that all the commandments can be summed up with one command, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” What do you think Paul meant by these words? How can you better live these words out in your own life?

4. In the Gospel reading, Jesus speaks of the importance of those in the church being accountable to one another for their actions. Why is this important? In what ways can you take some small steps to increase this accountability in your life?

5. In the meditation, we hear these words: “We all have to deal with people who try our patience or rub us the wrong way. Then there’s the pull of the world, urging us toward a self-centered approach to life. And all the time, we hear in the back of our minds Jesus telling us to love one another, even to prefer one another to ourselves. This is a demanding call, isn’t it?” Why is this “a demanding call”? What are the some obstacles that can keep you from seeking “to serve instead of being served (Matthew 20:28)”?

6. The meditation ends with these words: “God is love. And that love is generous and overflowing. Let him love you, and you’ll find yourself loving other people more and more.” Why do you think this is so? What are some ways you can open yourself more to God’s love?

7. Take some time now to pray and ask the Lord for the grace to love others as he has loved you. Use the prayer at the end of the meditation as the starting point.

A Christian Pilgrim

ASSERTIVENESS: THE IDEAL QUALITY FOR GOOD HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS

(A biblical reflection on the 23rd ORDINARY SUNDAY [YEAR A], 7 September 2014)

Gospel Reading: Matthew 18:15-20

First Reading: Ezekiel 33:7-9; Psalms: Psalm 95:1-2,6-9; Second Reading: Romans 13:8-10

The Scripture Text
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in My name, there am I in the midst of them.” (Matthew 18:15-20 RSV)

Today’s Gospel is preceded by a parable, “the parable of the Lost Sheep” (Matthew 18:12-14). This parable is addressed to the disciples to impel them to seek out lost members of the community. The parable emphasizes that the sinful member of the community is never to be despised but must become the focus of concern. Such solicitude is a reflection of God’s own love for sinners. In today’s Gospel, Matthew lays down practical procedures for handling disputes in the community (Matthew 18:15-18).

Some people in our community are too submissive. They continually back off and are afraid to voice an objection, and this gives them a sense of diminished self-worth. Others are too aggressive. They push people about in an arrogant and dominating manner. These are the people with an exaggerated view of self-importance. Abraham Lincoln once spoke to this issue when he said: “As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master.”

Between these two extremes is found the ideal quality for good human relationships – assertiveness. Assertive people neither cower from fear nor threaten with force. They frankly express their feelings and hopes to the person or people with whom they are having difficulties. Assertive people are strong, open and peace-loving.

Hurts and wrongs often go undiscussed and unattended because it is hard for us to talk about them. Although we avoid direct confrontations, we often resort to making complaints behind the scene.

“If your brother sins against you,” says Jesus in today’s Gospel, “go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.” (Matthew 18:15).This is simply a call to be assertive. Such an action can save untold hardships and enable us to quickly solve many problems which otherwise could linger on for years or even a lifetime. This is true in cases of family life, good neighborhood, or other aspects of human relationships.

If we cannot solve our difficulties with others, Jesus recommends that we seek the help of a third person – not to provide an answer but to be an arbiter so that the disputants can better arrive at a mutual solution.

If the conflict still continues, it should be submitted to the Church for a group decision or the assistance of one who is skilled in that area. This biblical approach to conflict management seeks to achieve peace between people and to avoid lawsuits. It especially seeks to avoid the use of violence to solve problems. The power of “binding and loosing” (here referring especially to decisions about membership in the community) given to Peter in Matthew 16:19 is extended to the Church (Matthew 18:18). And, the community has definite power, particularly when united in prayer (Matthew 18:19-20), because the Risen Lord is in its midst.

Jesus expects us to love one another in an atmosphere of unity and openness, without playing the role of either slave or master. The virtue of assertiveness does not diminish the other person. Through openness, it speaks and listens and achieves a peaceful understanding.

Short Prayer: Lord Jesus, I pray for unity in my Christian communities where I am a member, my family, with my friends, and among all people. Make me an assertive person, Lord, and may the world know that we are Christians by our love for one another. Amen.