Posted on 06/14/2014 10:06:08 AM PDT by Gamecock
If our reason for saving sex until marriage is because we believe it will make sex better or easier for us, we’re not only setting ourselves up for disappointment, but we’re missing the point entirely. Those of us who choose to wait do so because we hold certain beliefs about the sacredness of marriage and about God's intentions and wishes for humanity, and we honor these regardless of whether they feel easier or harder. In the meantime, we in the evangelical church has a lot of work to do correcting the distorted ways we talk about sex and sexuality, especially to our youth.
Sounds like she needs counseling.
Her view is prevalent in churches that carry the teachings she is referring to.
Why is that?
1. Any and all physical contact is like a gateway drug to sex.
No, I wouldn’t say that. But not so terrible to avoid any PDA vs. doing it. I wish the f-ags would obey that rule.
2. If you wait until you are married to have sex, God will reward you with mind-blowing sex and a magical wedding night.
I wouldn’t say that either. Maybe expectations are too high. Ties into my next comment.
3. Girls don’t care about sex.
Not nearly as much as males do. Really. Yes, we care, but overall it’s not so all-important as it is for males. It’s only one thing. I think other things are more important to show love, and perfectly content without sexual things (beginning aging seemed to drain me of libido, frankly), whereas certain someones seem to think the most important way is sex. Both by him and to him.
This ties in with the “promise of great sex”. It’s really not that important. Just don’t let me have terrible sex - just like don’t make me marry a truly ugly guy.
4. When you get married, you will immediately be able to fully express yourself sexually without guilt or shame.
Why not? I understand the conditioning, but personally I had no illusions. I kept it under wraps but knew what capabilities I had, knew what I’d not mind trying so there was no problem. Shyness is the biggest thing, not worrying about morals. It’s all fair game at that point. Maybe some people don’t really get that.
“Those of us who choose to wait do so because we hold certain beliefs about the sacredness of marriage and about God’s intentions and wishes for humanity”
It’s about time we say exactly why wait, and it is from what sex is actually for - making babies. If babies are made outside that covenant, they are automatically born into rough times. It is not fair for a child to be born into lousy circumstances with 1 parent, who also shows herself to be of low character. Probably will be of low income, arguing and fighting with strangers as well as relatives, just generally of poor environment.
That is the reason it is immoral to have sex outside marriage. Other issues are incidental, including how it can hurt the “adults” involved when they break up, etc. Easier when you haven’t tried that “bond”. They will never stop thinking about that sex, and it will affect later marriage and children, etc.
The earthly reward for adhering to God’s commandments is that it saves you a whole lot of trouble.
I would agree certain churches have an extra-Biblical attitude to sexual activity, but the Word is the Word and it does limit your desires and expressions for your own good. It does seem this woman is venting anger at God aiming it at the church.
Good points. Sex outside marriage can cause major problems in your life. There is nothing wrong with avoiding potentially bad situations,even if you have sexual desires but don’t have a spouse to share them with.
1. Any and all physical contact is like a gateway drug to sex.
This is sound advice taken to an absurd extreme (handholding?!)
2. If you wait until you are married to have sex, God will reward you with mind-blowing sex and a magical wedding night.
Good sex takes time and practice. The two most important elements are patience and a sense of humor.
3. Girls don’t care about sex.
Most girls aren’t driven by sex the way men are. We’re wired that way. Generally, women appreciate sex more as they mature.
4. When you get married, you will immediately be able to fully express yourself sexually without guilt or shame.
What’s the fun in that? Just kidding.
Too bad so many are too old when they learn that. Keeping the commandments keeps you from having to learn by experience.
Sounds like she and her husband are struggling with personal issues. A good Christian counselor could help.
Sounds more like it’s the way she personally experienced it / dealt with it and claims that is how everyone else must also feel...I’m sorry for her and maybe her own church was way overboard but I haven’t encountered any young married couples having this experience who waited until they were married...though they weren’t scolded for holding hands, embracing, etc. before they were married either like apparently she was told not to do.
Maybe try to be more in line with what GOD says in his word about sexual relations FIRST. As imperfect beings we may not always see or understand reasons behind Gods instruction, that doesn’t mean though that they have no merit or should be ignored. Take a good look around you and observe for yourself the product of man’s interpretation of right and wrong, specifically with regards to sexuality
Not at all. Read the last paragraph.
But legalistic implementation is wrong too.
I grew up with some of this same stuff. There wasn’t really any Biblical teaching, just heaping non Biblical interpretations on us.
I think in many was she is right.
I read it differently. It sounds like when they were first married, they had things they needed to learn about each other and their sexuality. Seems pretty normal, actually.
Which is exactly my point. Gods word gives us the answers. Indoctrination by churches for control has always been part of history, I too was subjugated to it throughout my childhood and young adult life. Looking back I see that the biblical training my PARENTS provided through scripture that was the most important of all and I am fortunate and thankful for it.
I dated a good Catholic girl (briefly) in college and let’s just say that I knew much more about female sexual anatomy than she did. I felt sorry for her being so ignorant about her own body.
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