Then the “Protestant” service you’re really against is pretty much nonexistent. I have 60 years of experience as a Protestant, literally thousands of services attended, including some charismatic groups, and never once saw what you are describing, though I think there are some movies mocking Christianity that have had such scenes. Not that I disapprove of making a joyful noise unto the Lord. Just that your stereotyping misses probably 98 or 99% of typical Protestant services. But if you are happy with your stereotype, who am I to burst your bubble? :)
“and never once saw what you are describing”
Really? Because I’ve seen an abundance of them.
60*52 weeks in a year=3120 times in church since you were a baby. Hmmm