The only thing these verses reveal is your misunderstanding of calvinism (the gospel), and the retort is the obvious and the easiest one:
Act_13:48 And when the Gentiles heard this, they were glad, and glorified the word of the Lord: and as many as were ordained to eternal life believed.
At no time have we ever taught that any of those who were ordained to eternal life did not believe, or that they believe against their will. Consider Augustine's explanation, a man who preceded both Calvin and Luther in these teachings, of how God brings a man infallibly to Christ:
"No man comes to me except he whom the Father shall draw. Do not think that you are drawn against your will. The mind is drawn also by love. Nor ought we to be afraid, lest perchance we be censured in regard to this evangelic word of the Holy Scriptures by men who weigh words, but are far removed from things, most of all from divine things; and lest it be said to us, How can I believe with the will if I am drawn? I say it is not enough to be drawn by the will; you are drawn even by delight. What is it to be drawn by delight? Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. There is a pleasure of the heart to which that bread of heaven is sweet. Moreover, if it was right in the poet to say, Every man is drawn by his own pleasure, — not necessity, but pleasure; not obligation, but delight—how much more boldly ought we to say that a man is drawn to Christ when he delights in the truth, when he delights in blessedness, delights in righteousness, delights in everlasting life, all which Christ is? Or is it the case that, while the senses of the body have their pleasures, the mind is left without pleasures of its own? If the mind has no pleasures of its own, how is it said, The sons of men shall trust under the cover of Your wings: they shall be well satisfied with the fullness of Your house; and You shall give them drink from the river of Your pleasure. For with You is the fountain of life; and in Your light shall we see light? Give me a man that loves, and he feels what I say. Give me one that longs, one that hungers, one that is travelling in this wilderness, and thirsting and panting after the fountain of his eternal home; give such, and he knows what I say. But if I speak to the cold and indifferent, he knows not what I say. Such were those who murmured among themselves. He whom the Father shall draw, says He, comes unto me." (Augustine, Tractate 26)
All men who receive it from heaven to believe, therefore, do not convert against their will, but are given a new heart of flesh to see and to hear the things of God (Deu 29:4), and once equipped are drawn by the delight of the Gospel revealed to them, so that all who believe are willing believers. And all those who are damned are also willing infidels, happily sinning against God.
The verses I presented from John prove, beyond any doubt, that it is indeed the grace of God, and not man's willing or running, which brings him infallibly to salvation and never lets him go (Rom 9:16). I have never seen any individual who claimed otherwise really take the time to tackle or acknowledge the plain meaning of these verses, which declare, without blushing, that the reason for those Jews' disbelief was in God not giving it to them to believe, and not for any other reason.
Submit to God, not to your own understanding. Holding on to the false premise that it man who gives himself to God, and not God who takes the man, does not save you from the things you wish to avoid. It is a fact that not everyone has heard the Gospel, and many millions, including those Jews as mentioned by Christ, have never been "given" anything by the Father to believe. There are out there, right now, even in American cities, people who will never hear the Gospel and will never have any sort of chance for salvation. They will die in ignorance, without the "chance" you all deem so important to justify God. How do you save yourself from the charge of "unfairness" then, when God does not give an equal chance to all the world to be saved? But the true answer to these problems is not to rob from God His sovereignty in salvation, but rather it is to submit to the scripture:
"As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated. What shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God? God forbid. For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy." (Rom 9:13-16)
And again,
"Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will? Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?" (Rom 9:19-20)
This is hard medicine, but it is the best medicine.
It is God's will that all men believe and come to repentance. Scripture says it in so many words.
This is true, but we must not confuse the prescriptive will of God with His secret decree, or, in other words, His will that all should repent and be saved, with His will to save and cause men to repent. On the one hand, He desires men to be saved, but, on the other hand, there are those whom He will give His mercy to, and those whom He will not, according to His own pleasure.
The scripture only teaches regarding man's will two things. That we will to sin, and that, abundantly, and cannot, without the Holy Spirit, do anything different, for none "seek or understand" God (Rom 3). We are voluntary slaves.
Secondly, the scripture teaches that whomever Christ sets free, they are free indeed, and none whom God begins a work in ever fail to have it completed. And all those who do not believe are specifically told that they were not "given" it by the Father to believe, and not because of any foreknowledge of rejection or faithlessness on their part.
These facts knock down any role in man's willing and running in his salvation, but give all the glory to God, who sees a depraved world and chooses for Himself His own people and does not fail to bring them happily, and willingly, into His arms.
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
“This is true, but we must not confuse the prescriptive will of God with His secret decree, or, in other words, His will that all should repent and be saved, with His will to save and cause men to repent.”
God has not hidden his will from us. He never states that he will save some men because he wants to, and damns all others because it pleases him to do so.
In Scripture, faith comes before spiritual life:
“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,”
“these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.”
Scripture never speaks of saving faith as something given to us by God. It is always something within us: “When Jesus heard this, he marveled and said to those who followed him, “Truly, I tell you, with no one in Israel have I found such faith.”
We do not do it apart from God, because God reveals himself to man first - always taking the initiative. But man is allowed to respond, and sometimes Satan is allowed to resist: “”The ones along the path are those who have heard. Then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.”
Sometimes people respond initially, but not in a way that takes root: “”And the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe for a while, and in time of testing fall away.”
Being elect in the New Testament is related to being the Chosen People in the Old Testament - it is a corporate election and predestination. God doesn’t create a list of names who will be saved regardless, and a list of names of those who will be damned regardless, but sets conditions and those who accept his will are then the Chosen Ones.
“(3) Election in Christ is primarily corporate, i.e., an election of a people (Eph 1:4-5, 7, 9). The elect are called “the body of Christ” (4:12), “my church” (Mt 16:18), “a people belonging to God” (1 Pe 2:9), and the “bride” of Christ (Rev 19:7). Therefore, election is corporate and embraces individual persons only as they identify and associate themselves with the body of Christ, the true church (Eph 1:22-23; see Robert Shank, Elect in the Son, [Minneapolis: Bethany House Publishers]). This was true already of Israel in the OT (see Dt 29:18-21, note; 2Ki 21:14, note; see article on God’s Covenant with the Israelites, p. 298)....
...Summary. Concerning election and predestination, we might use the analogy of a great ship on its way to heaven. The ship (the church) is chosen by God to be his very own vessel. Christ is the Captain and Pilot of this ship. All who desire to be a part of this elect ship and its Captain can do so through a living faith in Christ, by which they come on board the ship. As long as they are on the ship, in company with the ship’s Captain, they are among the elect. If they choose to abandon the ship and Captain, they cease to be part of the elect. Election is always only in union with the Captain and his ship. Predestination tells us about the ship’s destination and what God has prepared for those remaining on it. God invites everyone to come aboard the elect ship through faith in Jesus Christ. [Life in the Spirit Study Bible, pp. 1854-1855]”
Also see:
“Finally, the Apostle Paul would argue, God limited his election even further to Christ as the head of the New Covenant (Gal. 3–4; see especially 3:16; cf. Rom. 3–4; 8), which is the fulfillment of the Old. Paradoxically, this also widened the election of God’s people because all who are in Christ by faith are chosen by virtue of their identification with Christ the corporate covenantal head, opening covenant membership to Gentiles as Gentiles. Just as God’s Old Covenant people were chosen in Jacob/Israel, the Church was chosen in Christ (as Eph. 1:4 puts it). And as Ephesians 2 makes clear, Gentiles who believe in Christ are in him made to be part of the commonwealth of Israel, fellow citizens with the saints, members of God’s household, and possessors of the covenants of promise (2:11-22; note especially vv. 12, 19). Indeed, any Jews who did not believe in Jesus were cut off from the elect people, and any believing Gentiles who stop believing will likewise be cut off, while anyone who comes to faith, whether Jew or Gentile, will be incorporated into God’s people (Rom. 11:17-24).”
http://evangelicalarminians.org/corporate-election-quotes/
Calvin’s discussions of election tend to skip over the whole “in Christ” thing...