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Thank you for this.

I have numerous objections.

1) I personally am not sure that God is not just sadistic, but infinitely sadistic. If he punishes even one person for infinity that deserves a finite punishment, then this would make him infinitely sadistic.

The implication of infinite punishment is an incredible one, because infinity is something so awesome no human can understand.

So then why would anyone want to be with an infinitely sadistic God?

I feel like killing Jesus myself, to be perfectly honest!! Give me some wood, some nails, and a hammer.

I am so angry at him!! He has caused me so much torture! No human being has abused me so much!!

And please nobody tell me that I need help. I feel that the great mass of people who do not think about eternity need help. It seems like this something on which existentialist thinkers agree. We all are called crazy.

Perhaps I have a different God than the rest of you. Mine is a sadistic and torturing beast, who is worse than Hitler. You others get the exact opposite.

I have to stop now as I am getting visibly upset.

Thank you and everyone else who tried to help me, but my existential crisis is way too deep to fix in one evening.

The reason you, or anyone, has an "existential crisis" is because you actually DO care about your eternal destiny. It's hard to believe but I've talked to some people who claim they have NEVER even thought about the subject. Some say they don't care and some that they think they are a "good person" so they won't have to worry.

But God did create us as souls with a spirit and a body. That soul, once created, WILL continue forever. It is God's will, the Bible says, that all are saved and come to the knowledge of the truth. What is this "truth" God desires that we come to know? It is that He loved us and, that while we were YET sinners, Christ died for us. God offers to us eternal life with Him by His grace - meaning we don't deserve it, earn it, merit it or work for it. We receive this gift of eternal life through FAITH. We receive His gift BY believing in Him and trusting in Christ to be our Savior.

We have ALL sinned and fall short of the perfection of God and because of this, God's pure holiness cannot allow sin to be in His presence. We cannot save ourselves, no matter how good we think we are or have been, it is only by the shedding of blood (death) that sin is paid for. Christ made that payment for us, in our place. That is why we can KNOW we have eternal life when we believe God and accept His gift of everlasting life. Those who think they can earn their way to heaven by being good or doing good works, are every bit as much rejecting the grace of God as those who do so outright. Hell is the place where souls go who have rejected God's grace. They are, in essence, paying an eternal price for their sins - separation from God.

This doesn't make God "sadistic", just the opposite, when we understand just how much He loves us and wants us to be with Him, we can come to know the joy and peace of knowing our Creator and walking in fellowship with Him both here and for eternity. It's a GOOD thing that you are aware of your need to know God and I will pray for you that you open your heart to Christ and diligently seek to know the truth. God is a rewarder of all those who do.

Your anguish comes through loud and clear and I wish so much that I could help, having gone through similar myself. Praying for you my brother.

One thing I did think, is that perhaps you have come to the end of what mind can do. A teacher of mine once cautioned against pondering too deeply great truths. The mind can only go so far, it doesn’t understand the spiritual at all, and so cannot be of much use in answering your question. It fears most of all it’s own lack, and so it creates the torment when you ask of it that which it cannot answer.

Spiritual questions must be contemplated by the heart. Jesus is there, waiting for you. He grieves over your torment and longs to reassure you.

Just sit quietly, close your eyes and put your attention on your heart, where He lives. When thoughts come up, do not engage with them, but simply return your attention to the heart. Let your mind rest. And may the peace of God which passes all understanding fill your mind and heart in Christ Jesus. With most sincere wishes. Rb

Depends on your perspective. I would not call it “infinite punishment.” I would say it’s “infinite you got what you wanted.” Some people don’t want God in their lives. In a way, they are getting their fondest wish.

My wife and I once attended a child-raising seminar sponsored by the Institute for Love and Logic. There was much to it but the essence was you taught your children that actions have consequences. When they make the wrong choices you don’t interfere with the consequences. Was that sadistic?

And what is the nature of torture? My daughter needed her jaw broken in order to align her bite, and then spent years with her teeth wired together, with regular and painful tightening of the wires. It was painful as parents for us to watch and I’m sure that at the time it felt like torture to her, but today she is a lovely young mother with a beautiful smile. Maybe what you perceive as torture is God trying to nudge you in the right direction. After all, the Bible says that those whom God loves He chastens. Perhaps He loves you more than you know.