Posted on 08/09/2013 3:57:54 PM PDT by Morgana
During a past ministry trip to Hungary, I heard a painfully familiar story. Through a translator, a tearful young woman living near Budapest explained that her Christian husband was angrily demanding her absolute submission. This included, among other things, that she clean their house according to his strict standards and that she engage in sexual acts with him that made her feel uncomfortable and dirty.
This lady was not demanding her rights or trying to be disrespectful. She was a godly, humble woman who obviously wanted to please the Lord. But she had been beaten to a pulp emotionally, and she was receiving little help from her pastor—who was either unwilling or unprepared to confront wife abuse.
I've heard so many sickening versions of this scenario. In Kenya, several women told me their AIDS-infected husbands often raped them—and then their pastors told them they must submit to this treatment. In some parts of India, even some pastors believe it is acceptable to beat their wives if they argue with them or show any form of disrespect. And in some conservative churches in the United States, women are told that obedience to God is measured by their wifely submission—even if their husbands are addicted to alcohol or pornography or if they are involved in adulterous affairs.
This distortion of biblical teaching has plunged countless Christian women into depression and emotional trauma. I'm not sure which is worse: the harsh words they hear from their husbands or the perverse way the Bible is wielded as a leather belt to justify domestic abuse. Here are three truths we must uncover in order to solve this problem:
(Excerpt) Read more at charismanews.com ...
I doubt he would have any issues with doing the dishes sometimes.
“Oh - woop-de-do. You do the dishes once in awhile and you think you’re the best husband in the world. And all YOU have to do is snap your fingers.” (Okay, I know Jesus didn’t snap his fingers when he did miracles....)
A gentleman I know, a senior partner in an HR company in Calgary, spent the first ten years of his working life as a RC priest. About 40 years ago, one of his parishoners was often beaten by her alcoholic husband and she would often talk to the priest about what happened. The priest feared that the woman would be killed, as the intensity of the beatings was increasing.
He discussed this with his superior several times, suggesting that if she did not leave the marriage, she would soon be dead. His superior cautioned him that she could not get a divorce and that she should stay with her husband, no matter what.
The priest then got a call from the woman. She had been beaten so badly that he drove her to the ER and called the police. He advised her to get a divorce before she was killed. The next day, he met with his superior and explained his advice to the woman. His superior chastised him for his actions and insisted that he call the woman and ensure that she did not get a divorce. The priest refused and resigned because he felt that he could not work for an organization that would continue to insist on no divorce, even when continued marriage could result in death.
...submitting to one another in the fear of God.
All Christians are supposed to submit to one another in some aspects. Yes, the husband is supposed to have a leadership role, but it's not a dictatorship. And, as you both pointed out, that role comes with some serious responsibilities as well.
Someone needs to ask those husbands how they are doing on their part, and maybe remind them of some of the characteristics of love: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Corinthians 13:4–5)
Aunt Polgara, just to be relevant, my reply to this thread would be that any religion can be twisted to fit the sick needs of the ignorant, cruel and evil. Islam comes to mind.
As a Christian, I boldly tell people that neither God nor Jesus have EVER told the faithful that it’s OK to treat your women like dogs or slaves. That these instructions appear NOWHERE in the Bible.
I do not bother to fill in the blank anymore or explain Ephesians because people only want to argue. IF they are truly curious they can ask and listen or look it up themselves.
I DO think lots of other-wise fine Christians take this teaching too far, I think it’s been over-used, ill-explained and misinterpreted. It’s sensational, right?
HOWEVER - I was really moved to reply to you to say this:
THE BELGARIAD ROCKS!!!! You are referring to THAT Polgara, right? I read the series in cheap paperback years ago, would love to find HC or just a new set to reread.
It remains the ONLY SF series I could ever get through; what wonderful writing just as novels without any category.
Thanks for reminding me :)
“Who said that?”
Um - my wife!?
That, and only doing the dishes so I “might get lucky”, but figured that was going too far in a fictional story with Jesus in it.
her Christian husband was angrily demanding her absolute submission. This included, among other things, that she clean their house according to his strict standards and that she engage in sexual acts with him that made her feel uncomfortable and dirty.
Why do I find myself getting all hot and bothered? (I'm female) lol.
total wrong view of biblical submission. it is not about tyranny. it is about trust and letting the guy do what needs to be done in terms ashead of the house, deferring to him. at the same time the guy better not abuse that or the trust will go away it isn’t a license to steamroll someone.
a good captain makes the first mate glad to be second in command.
submissive doesn’t mean waif.
it means you will not constantly be fighting about little or big issues constantly because both of you want to be in charge.
exactly. men require respect, which shows when she defers to him, and women require love, which the man will do for a woman who respects him.
yes, the golden rule applies to everyone.
This author makes some excellent points. Good article.
I helped with a case a number of years ago and it was granted very quickly and the wife did get a divorce first. The Church has difficulty granting a cert of nullity when the couple is still legally wed in the eyes of the state. BTW the grounds for the cert were immaturity. That is I believe still the most common.
“angrily demanding her absolute submission”
Submission is given willingly and never “demanded”.
He is a jerk.
More time should be spent teaching girls the arts of housewifery.
More men should be taught the responsibility of REAL manhood.
Methinks many of these folk go to the wrong church. My preachers are never shy about pounding home the responsibility of Christian MEN filled with the power of the Holy Spirit to step up boldly and defend the faith, the church, their families and their women against the evils of this world and the next.
I personally know dozens who do just that.....and very few who meet the reprehensible behavior of the apostates the author describes and seems to find under every rock.
Choose your church and your friends accordingly.
In modern secular America and the tepid pseudo churches that has overwhelmed too many in our faith, weak men abdicate their role as head of the household, and are instead docile manboys, wholly emasculated by the domineering wives that hold them in mocking contempt and scold them like the children they are.....or they take on the role of the phony tough wife-beater bad boys who spend their lives as layabouts, indolent and narcissistic.
In each, the man is lost, and the woman has chosen poorly and is bound to pain and grief.
What is the solution?
Fathers must raise better stronger more virtuous men and mothers......smarter stronger more virtuous daughters.
You got that right.
Well said!
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