Dear Sirs:
I understand that a position as pastor is open in your church and I would like to apply for it. I have some qualifications for the work, and this letter is an honest review of my past service in the ministry.
I am almost 60 years of age and have been in the ministry for about 25 years. Ive never lasted very long in any one place, but once I did stay in one church three years. People say my health is not good, but I ignore these kinds of irritants and press on anyway, believing my ill health is actually an advantage to keep my big ego in check.
Im a strong leader and have usually wound up in charge of everything Ive ever done. Ill be frank with you, Im not always popular, and have been expelled from a number of cities where I ministered. But in every case it was because of a trouble-making opposition I seem to get everywhere I go. I just preach the truth and some people get angry when they hear it.
You may hear about the time when I confronted the highest leader in my denomination to his face -- in front of an entire church body. But he was clearly in the wrong and he backed down. It is that simple: I was right, and he was wrong. I spoke the truth, as I always do. And my truth won the day.
I have seldom been able to work full-time in the ministry, so I have usually had employment outside of my ministry to help support me. In some churches I received no salary at all, and occasionally my job even provided for paying the staff too, though that was not the average situation. Don't the idea though that I worked only with large churches. Most of the churches I've worked with were small, and all of them were able to meet in a house or small hall.
I am a good preacher and well-trained in Bible truths though I often preach longer than people think I shouldsometimes for several hours. And you might hear that I have even preached all night at times.
I have had some success at church planting, though some believe my methods are wrong. What I do is enter a new city and find the local religious gathering. I attend there until I get an opportunity to teach or speak, then I show them how their doctrine is wrong and the doctrine I teach is correct. This usually causes a lot of division, and those who side with me generally split off the original group and with that core group I start a new church.
In case you follow up on my references you may discover some questionable events. So I need to give my side on these stories. Yes, it is true that I am guilty of conspiracy to commit murder. But that was before I accepted Christ. And it is true that because of several problems since becoming a Christian, I have been put in jail. But most of these were short stays, though I have just been released from a four-year stint -- two years in Caesarea and the last two here in Rome. But Ive never given up on my faitheven as a convict. Yes, I have been accused as a trouble-maker but these are false accusations, the real trouble-makers are the Jews who keep following me everywhere I go stirring up trouble against me.
Spiritually I have had an incredible journey. Early in my ministry I had "another world" experiencewhich I do not even talk about. I heard inexpressible things. And you need not worry about a charismatic influence, for I am a hard-liner on that issue, always limiting speaking in tongues to a few at a time, and though I speak with tongues myself more than most everybody else, I never do so in public meetings.
I have always worked in a staff ministry, and usually expect a staff as normal. If your church can't pay them, I will figure out a way to have them work directly for me. My staff is generally loyal to me, in fact I demand it. In my first staff relationship, the senior member of the staff quickly recognized that I was more competent than he was, and he stepped down to the associate role so I could assume the leadership of our staff. Later that year the third member of our staff left abruptly walked out, but I thought at that time he was too soft for the ministry anyway. Eventually I lost my associate too when he tried to persuade me to bring that young fellow back on staff. I refused. He left and started another ministry, though we are still friends. I have been used to working with a large staff, but I admit that I've had a lot of staff turnover -- few of them stay very long. That's what multiplication is all about, though isn't it? As to my wife, I do not give any details other than I will be accompanied wherever I go not by her but by a physician, a faithful layman who has been with me for quite a while. He will be moving with me to wherever I go next.
There may be other rumors and accusations about me that you hear when following up my references Strong leaders have strong opposition. So, I wish to address these other rumors and reports directly to you as follows:
I hope you will consider my application.
Guess who...
Goes along well with "Pope Paul"
The time he took part in a vow which involved a Jewish sacrifice - under what i think was the ill-advised advice of James and almost resulted in his death (Acts 21:20ff) - is the only real thing that might manifestly indicate some fault of Paul, if the dispute with Barnabas was wholly spiritual.