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To repeat — if anyone had tried to touch Mary in a sexual way — they would have died.

I don't see that in post 31 so I don't know what it is a repeat of unless you meant it was a repeat of...

...what you wrote: "Mary is the Ark of the New Covenant. Using typology, when the Ark of the Old Covenant was touched — the person died."

Therefore if that is true, anyone touching Mary would die. The use of typology seems quite a stretch unless there is a scripture in the NT saying that Mary is the latter day Ark of the Covenant.

I've never seen anything like that.

Mary and Joseph were married, as noted in scripture.

²⁰But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife...

There was no qualification (don't have sex with her or you will die), the angel said take her as your wife.

²⁴Then Joseph, being aroused from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took to him his wife, ²⁵and did not know her till she had brought forth her firstborn Son.^[d] And he called His name Jesus.

"...and did not know her till she had brought forth her firstborn Son"

That is the same as saying that he DID "know" (Biblical lingo for having sex) her after Jesus was born.

Seems pretty cut and dried.

Joseph had sexual relations with his wife, and he did not die.

I know that Catholicism and the church fathers and many others outside of Catholicism spent centuries trying to make Mary a perpetual virgin, but scripture doesn't uphold that theory.

The Catholic Church has a different viewpoint on this. Joseph agreed to be the guardian of Jesus and to be a celibate man in the union with the Blessed Virgin Mary. We know about some of the dreams that he had.

What if he had other dreams that asked him to remain celibate?

In fact, I believe MacDonald touches on that.