Actually meant both. Fallen and fell away. Through a very good friend he showed me through his actions with a family tragedy, good humor and strong faith that just maybe I could somehow be worthy of being in his Church and calling myself a Christian.
I'm a man with a bad temper, quick mouth, self centered, hypocritical and prideful. I do believe in Christ and pray every night that just maybe he can help me find my way. I fall, I get up and I keep on trying.
The Catholic church is a beautiful and great institution that has men who are not perfect running it. It's been infiltrated by communist, homosexuals and men/women of dubious values.
However my parents, grandparents and relatives believe and live as Catholics. My grandfather fought as a teenager and young man to defend the Catholic faith in Mexico. I just have a hard time personally with hypocrital priests, nuns and church leaders. As a hypocrite myself, I don't like the competition. You are correct sir, the church isn't a museum for saints but a hospital for sinners. I'm in need of an intensive care unit.
It sounds like you try with all your might to imitate Christ. you're not a saint but then very few of us are -- even the saints :)
May God bless you on you journey