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To: Colofornian
Here are a few of the things that true believing Mormons are not supposed to ask their leaders about ...

  1. The Book of Mormon: the "most correct of any book on earth" containing stories of mass migrations in submarine barges, snakes herding cattle, American Indians smelting steel and riding about in horse drawn chariots, and so much, much more.

  2. The Book of Abraham: Joseph's translation completely debunked by Egyptologists. The poor guy missed the author of the document, the purpose for the document, and every single word contained in the document.

  3. The Failed Prophesies: dozens to choose from including such gems as the violent overthrow of the United States in the 1830's, to the second coming of Christ sometime before 1891, to the discovery of the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel living in cement houses in a valley near the North Pole, to the finding the moon is inhabited by men dressed like Quakers, to the prediction the earth has knobs on each end. Joseph wasn't afraid go for broke. And he got there time and time again.

  4. The First Vision: or more specifically, the nine different versions of the first vision; or ten if you include the Salamander account pronounced genuine by LDS Church leadership.

  5. The 1826 Bainbridge Conviction for Fraud: the Conquistador's gold was really down there on that farm in Northern Pennsylvania. It wasn't Joseph's fault the farmer dug so slowly the ground opened up and kept swallowing the treasure.

  6. The Book of Commandments / Doctrine and Covenants: supposedly dictated to the prophet by Mormonism's god, but changed thousands of times and still replete with examples of false statements and contradictions with other Mormon scripture.

  7. The Kirtland Safety Society: Joseph preceded the Enron scandal by 170 years with what was for years the largest financial fraud in U.S. history (and still one of the most blatant). This happened shortly after Mormonism's god promised the banking institution, "like Aaron's rod shall swallow up all other banks … and grow and flourish and spread from the rivers to the ends of the earth, and survive when all others should be laid in ruins."

  8. The United Order: Rigdon talked Smith into trying communism about 30 years or so before Marx and Engels. The Saints got the same economic results as other “workers’ paradises” such as the Soviet Union, Cuba and North Korea. The Saints eventually abandoned this commandment in favor of “the law of tithing” even though the United Order was proclaimed to be “an everlasting order for the benefit of my church, and for the salvation of men until I [Jesus] come.”

  9. The Garden of Eden located in Independence, Missouri: This was the place where Adam and Eve were given Sacred Temple Garments (long johns with secret Masonic symbols) to cover their nakedness after they were expelled from paradise.

  10. The Kinderhook Plates: a hoax by evil gentiles who took pieces of brass, and then inspired by the characters on a box of Chinese green tea, etched strange markings on them with acid. Joseph pronounced the artifacts genuine and determined they contained information about a descendant of Ham.

  11. Doctrine & Covenants Section 132: polygamy as a result of a "new and everlasting covenant … [and] if ye abide not that covenant, then are ye damned; for no one can reject this covenant and be permitted to enter into my glory." This revelation convinced more than thirty women, many in their teens and several married to other men, to share Joseph's celestial bed. And it ruined the lives of thousands of his devout followers. And exactly how does one get rid of something that is “everlasting”? The LDS Church has been trying to figure that one out since the Federal Government almost put them out of business in 1887.

  12. The Science of Kolob: the Sun borrows its light from Kolob through the medium of Kae-e-vanrash, and other stars receive their power through the revolutions of Kolob. Similarly, the earth receives its power through the medium of Kli-flos-is-es, or Hah-ko-kau-beam.

  13. Salvation through Joseph: or more specifically, the idea no one receives exaltation without recognizing Smith is a prophet of god and will pass before him in order to gain entry to the highest kingdom of heaven.

  14. The Eternal Progression: As man now is, god once was. As god now is, man may become.

  15. I'm greater than Jesus: Joseph's pompous boast made on May 26, 1844. Less than a month later, the vain prophet Joseph Smith was thrown down exactly as he prophesied.

Personally, I don't understand why the LDS authorities are so reticent to answer these simple challenges ... or hundreds more like them. Perhaps some Saint somewhere can read this thread and shine a light?\.
5 posted on 02/01/2012 4:13:48 AM PST by Zakeet (If Obama had half a brain, his butt would be lopsided)
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To: Zakeet
I'm greater than Jesus: Joseph's pompous boast made on May 26, 1844. Less than a month later, the vain prophet Joseph Smith was thrown down exactly as he prophesied.


JESUS: Hey Smith!       Remember that boast you made about doing more than even I had done to hold the 'church' together?

JOSEPH SMITH: Where am I?

JESUS: Don't you remember? A few seconds ago you were in that jail.

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah; but where am I NOW?

JESUS: Don't you remember? Does bang - bang ring a bell?

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah - that crummy gun I had was about USELESS!

JESUS: I hope you left instructions on how to hold your church together.

JOSEPH SMITH: Dang! I knew there was SOMETHING I was forgetting!

JESUS: Looks like there's a power struggle going on down there.

JOSEPH SMITH: Yeah; there was always SOMEone who wanted the power that I held - especially over the LADIES - wink wink.

JESUS: No need to worry about that now; remember what my friend Matthew wrote down?

JOSEPH SMITH: This? “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30)

JESUS: That's it.

JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.

JESUS: Nah - it was right.

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh well; it was fun while it lasted. My buds will still get it on with the girls.

JESUS: Uh; I'm sorry; in just a few more years; your followers will cavein to the United States government and abandon the 'Eternal Covenant' that you came up with.

JOSEPH SMITH: ME!? YOU are the one that told me to do that!

JESUS: Sorry; but you must have mistranslated what I told you. What part of Do NOT commit ADULTERY did you not understand?

JOSEPH SMITH: mumble....

JESUS: What did you say?

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, nothing.

JESUS: Well; it was interesting talking to you; but now I must get back to perparing a place for those who believe in Me.

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, yeah; the Celestial Kingdom.

JESUS: No...

JOSEPH SMITH: The Telestial one?

JESUS: Nope.

JOSEPH SMITH: SUREly not the TERRESTRIAL one!!

JESUS: Nope. Didn't you read that the mind of man had NOT conceived of it? Paul wrote it down in 1 Corinthians 2:9.

JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.

JESUS: No; it wasn't.

JOSEPH SMITH: You SURE?

JESUS: Yes. Now I must be going: what did you say your name was again?

JOSEPH SMITH: Joseph Smith.

JESUS: Hmmmm. According to my Heavenly FAITHbook, you didn't sign in as one of my friends - sorry, I never knew you.

JOSEPH SMITH: But.... 

14 posted on 02/01/2012 6:02:03 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going)
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To: Zakeet
The Science of Kolob: the Sun borrows its light from Kolob through the medium of Kae-e-vanrash, and other stars receive their power through the revolutions of Kolob. Similarly, the earth receives its power through the medium of Kli-flos-is-es, or Hah-ko-kau-beam.

That's a new one.....

Wow!!

38 posted on 02/01/2012 3:00:26 PM PST by Osage Orange (A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.)
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