Posted on 09/29/2011 7:48:46 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
Edited on 09/29/2011 9:22:12 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
VATICAN CITY — In an attempt to head off a tidal wave of lawsuits stemming from the sexual abuse of children by priests within the Roman Catholic Church, and Rome’s attempt to cover up the crimes, the Vatican is planning to replace all priests with robots.
Initially the priests to be replaced will be in the United States, but if the program is successful, it could be extended to other countries, said Marco Batelli, a lawyer for the Vatican.
Batelli said human priests wouldn’t be arbitrarily ousted from their positions, rather they would be replaced by robots as they retired or died.
The church has been developing robot priests for the past two years, Batelli said. A live test took place recently in Japan, he said. In the ceremony, which was held in a restaurant to avoid protests from devout Catholics, bride Satoko Inouye was married to her groom Tomohiro Shibata by I-Fairy, a four-foot robot wearing a wreath of flowers. This was the first time a marriage had been led by a robot, according to a statement issued by RoboPriest Japan, a joint venture between the Vatican and robot manufacturer Kokoro Co.
Vatican observer Kristof Klein said, “The beauty of RoboPriests is that they can be programmed to perform almost all the sacramental duties of priests. Their ultimate virtue, of course, is that they don’t molest little boys.”
No one is sure if the RoboPriest ploy will turn the tide for a church under severe pressure in the courts, but most experts on Vatican affairs agree that desperate times call for desperate measures.
“The church is running scared,” said Walter Lysburn, an ecclesiastical scholar in Rome. “They are desperate to do anything they can to placate victims of sexual abuse. The lawsuits could cost them billions. I know for a fact that Sotherbys has visited the Vatican and put preliminary prices on the Pieta and the Sistine Chapel. [snip]
“Lying Dog News”? I think the dog has a hold on my pants leg and is giving it a small tug! Yeeehawww!
That ain't gonna happen. And per my copy of Websters New World Dictionary the word in question is vulgar when used as a verb, but when used as a noun it means nonsense, falseness, insincerity, etc.
Yeah, it should be funny...
Do you really expect fairness when the originator of this thread is involved?
Exactly. Major fail.
The guy found a weird picture of a Japanese couple getting married by a robot and proceeded to write a humorless, predictable bore of an article out of it.
Nothing cutting, insightful, clever, original, or remotely entertaining emerges from the effort.
Funny to whom?
I usually don’t respond to this kind of stuff or post on the religious forum and probably shouldn’t have this time.
Regards
No. I just snipped the language from the article and removed the post for quoting it.
Thanks for removing that.
Gratias tibi, pater maxime roboto
Freegards
Klaatu Barada Nikto!
“Another Christ”?!!! Talk about blasphemous! Not to mention completely unbiblical, just like much of Catholicism.
In After The Perpetually Offended
Why not? With a system in place, ex opere operato, (the built in efficacy of a sacrament properly conferred) why can’t a robot that’s properly programmed suffice?
LOL
LIKE
LIKE
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