thank you for the kind mature post, and I wish you and your family well,
I very much dreaded an out-of-wedlock pregnancy because without ever talking about teenage sex in our household, I knew that would bring shame on both me and my parents.
I've had plenty of years to ponder the failure of my marriage and will mention one because I've never seen it applied in modern times. Obedience to parents. There are more commandments than the 6th and 9th. Over a period of four years, I defied them and eventually wore them down. They relented and I got married, but I always knew they had wanted better for me.
So one mistake can cause a lifetime of pain, even if you have repented of it. Actions have consequences. And my children have paid and are paying for the consequences of their choices even though they have some good times. Naturally, loving them as I have, their mistakes add to the cumulative pain of my own.
And don't think the divorce didn't cause my children pain, a great deal of it, some of which was not my fault, because it did, even though as adults, they now understand why it was for the best.