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Great questions! And good observation that the resurrected Jesus told Mary He had not yet been to that place where His Father in Heaven resides.
Since Jesus already said that man could be saved only by baptism (John 3:3-5; Mark 16:16; Matt 3:14-15) and many of those in the world of spirits, (Paradise or Sheol, where Jesus went between His death and resurrection) had never heard Christ’s teachings and had not been baptized, Christ, through his apostles, established a way whereby men on earth could perform baptism by proxy for the dead. Only a cruel God would exclude some from Heaven because they never heard of Christ or had a chance, while in life,to hear and accept His word. Paul spoke of this in I Cor. 15:29, when he asked “Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?” So the dead needed to be taught and given the same chance as men in mortality to accept or reject, and Christ began this work when He visited the spirit world.
A really complete treatise on the subject of baptism for the dead in the early Christian Church, and on the writings of early Church fathers on the subject of Christ’s visit to and mission in the world of departed spirits is found at:
http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/temples/baptism_ancient_nibley.html (Be sure to also click on the extensive footnotes)/

You sound like a mormon. You put the book of mormon above the Church and Bible. If you read the first book (the bible) you would know you can not add that mormon book. Sorry! All real Christians believe in 1 John4. The mormons do not believe.