I'm also sure your wife is a very wonderful woman and lucky to have your love.
Your comment, "if we were all as good as them we would feel all feel a lot better about hearing the last trump." is applicable as far as the "goodness" of some of the membership. Having been born and raised in, and lived in various mormon communities I have know some who were exemplary in their conduct, and also some who had the traits of some of the lowest examples in society. Being "good" and following a religion that is non-Christian does not lead to salvation.
I'm sure it has been suggested to you before that if it distresses you to see our posts, that you refrain from reading them.
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I guess what distress me is to think that so many people have such ill will for such a kind group of people. There are bad apples in any group, I don't mean to say the mormons don't have their fair share but I never see them.
According to my wife they have a means of policing themselves through a system of church courts. You get caught doing something horrid chances are you won't be a mormon next week. It doesn't mean you can't come back or can't go to church but someone in charge will have to approve it.
So far I have liked most of the ones I have met. They aren't threatening except that they always want me to “get wet”.
I say, live and let live.