Posted on 08/04/2010 10:06:59 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
Have you seen the Official Papal Visit store yet? Brilliant, isn’t it? By far the most intriguing item on sale is surely the Flashing Candle, an “electronic flashing light that bares [sic] the Official Logo of 2010 Papal Visit”. But it’s not only the Flashing Candle: everything in the store, like the majority of Catholic souvenirs, official and unofficial, is appallingly tacky.
Tacky Catholic paraphernalia are a mainstay of Catholic life, so much so that they’ve even spawned knowing – and therefore slightly cooler - mickey-takes. They’re widely available wherever there are large Catholic populations and many Catholic homes are scarred by horrific prints and 6-foot plastic crucifixes. A colleague tells me you can even buy crowns of thorns in the Holy Land.
But it’s not so much the faint whiff of blasphemy (watch out later in the week for our CatholicHerald.co.uk Debate about whether Catholic tat trivialises the faith) as the sheer visual offensiveness of some of this stuff.
Weird, isn’t it? We have the richest cultural heritage of any religion – some of the most striking architecture, beautiful painting and inspiring music – but step outide the Vatican and the splendour of Michelangelo’s frescoes gets (how shall we say it?) “lost in translation”.
I mean, take this holographic winking Jesus, which changes depending on the angle you’re looking at it:
What about this Polyresin Luminous Statue of Jesus from China Quality Crafts, which charges in 30 minutes of sunlight to give a soft glow all night?
Or this Loving Jesus Doll (h/t The Sour Apple), “a cuddly companion that’s perfect for the bedroom or the living room”:
Naturally, there are plenty of nun-related goodies too. But my favourite ever piece of tacky rubbish has to be the Virgin Mary USB stick, pictured at the top of this post. The manufacturer’s description is worth reprinting in full:
Standing dignified on her socket, enshrined in Plexiglas, when work calls she frees herself of her surroundings. Connected with the computer she comes to life, her red LED heard starts to beat – in passive state slowly, quicker whilst connecting or saving data. On her halo is engraved the prayer – “Oh Maria, keep my data safe!”
I don’t get it. What is it about us Catholics and hideous tat?
Tacky Catholic paraphernalia are a mainstay of Catholic life, so much so that they’ve even spawned knowing – and therefore slightly cooler - mickey-takes. They’re widely available wherever there are large Catholic populations and many Catholic homes are scarred by horrific prints and 6-foot plastic crucifixes. A colleague tells me you can even buy crowns of thorns in the Holy Land.
But it’s not so much the faint whiff of blasphemy as the sheer visual offensiveness of some of this stuff.
Weird, isn’t it? We have the richest cultural heritage of any religion – some of the most striking architecture, beautiful painting and inspiring music – but step outide the Vatican and the splendour of Michelangelo’s frescoes gets (how shall we say it?) “lost in translation”.
Related threads:
John Knox to be included in pageant during Pope's visit to Scotland
Pope snubbed by Scottish Catholics: Thousands turn down the chance to see the Pope in person
Pope visit merchandise includes 'metal' T-shirt and baseball cap [it's official merchandise!]
T-shirts and other merchandise on sale to mark Pope's visit to Britain [& unofficial risque rivals]
(sigh)
And then there are the holy relics....
Then there’s the “uplifting” image of Buddy Christ from Dogma.
Holy tat, Batman!
I am not so sure. As the owner of a lot of it, I think tacky Mexican Catholic paraphernalia is pretty much the gold standard.
I beg to differ - have you been in an evangelical bookstore recently?
It’s all just so ..... so ...
(sigh)
Tacky but.. kid of cool! In a tacky way.
We'll assume that's a typo, humblegunner.
Pay attention. Get it right.
Cool!
Where can I get one?
I don’t care if it rains or freezes....
I have the official Vatican combination church-key and corkscrew. :)
Long as I got my plastic Jesus...
I’m inclined to agree.
However, one man’s tacky is another man’s treasure.
If it blesses them in a BIBLICAL way, I have no need to throw rocks.
Thanks for the ping!
With all due respect, I still feel compelled to defend tacky Mexican Catholic paraphernalia as the gold standard, by virtue of its screaming primary and/or neon colors and abundance of blood, as compared to the soft pastel colors and sticky sweetness of tacky evangelical paraphernalia. But your point is well taken.
As the owner of a lot of it, I think tacky Mexican Catholic paraphernalia is pretty much the gold standard.I beg to differ - have you been in an evangelical bookstore recently?
It amuses me that evangelicals aren't the only ones into kitschy religious junk.
This is absurd coming from a UK periodical. It really should be “Nobody does memorabilia like the Brits”, they specialize in it in ways we boring Americans can barely imagine.
Google “Queen Elizabeth golden jubilee souvenirs” or since it’s coming up in two years try “diamond jubilee”, those people love kitsch not because they’re Catholic but because they’re British.
On the other hand, yeah, my house looks like the Vatican gift shop warehouse.
Sometimes nothin’ is a real cool hand, Gunner.
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