"Health in the navel;
Marrow in the bones;
Strength in the loins and in the sinews
Power in the Priesthood Be Upon Your Posterity..."
The initiatory ordinance needs to be described in exquisite detail in the pre-baptism missionary discussion:
"You must now pay us 10% of your income for the rest of your life, so that you can buy admission into the temple for the privilege of getting naked and having an old geezer touch your private parts with oil.
"See, it doesn't matter how moral you are, how completely virtuous you may be in word, thought, and deed, if you don't receive the holy Naked-Touching in the temple, as well as secret handshakes and passwords. No, these rituals override your personal worthiness, your character, your deeds.
"Paying us lots of money for a recommend so that you can obtain the sacred Naked-Touching is the ONLY way God will let you see him again. Swearing an oath to allow yourself to be gruesomely executed, while pantomiming your own gruesome death is the highest degree of the gospel taught by Jesus.
"John wasn't fully forthcoming when he said 'God is Love': God isn't just Love; God is Secret Passwords and Handshakes! The Gospel of Jesus Christ is that all mankind can return to live with God if they pay for the privilege of getting Naked-Touching!"
Somehow, I'm betting that most converts are not taught this "fullness" of the gospel.......
There ought to be a full-disclosure lawsuit in here somewhere for not being informed that your participation in the secret ritual would require you to submit to sexual harassment.
In the scientific research world, this kind of abuse would get slaughtered by an Institutional Review Board on the grounds of violation of standard requirements for Protection of Human Subjects.
Did any of you sign a waiver, or notice of full prior disclosure prior to attending your initiatory ordinance, explaining that you were advised you would have to get naked, and then AFTER you were already naked (and therefore, feeling entirely vulnerable), have a stranger touch your groin?