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580 Reasons (& counting) Why You Should Leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints [II]
Life After Ministries ^
| 2007
Posted on 06/13/2010 6:28:26 PM PDT by Colofornian
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To: Tennessee Nana
Again its the boastful-greater-than-Jesus Joey Smith...
And we KNOW what happened to him!
JESUS: Hey Smith!
Remember that boast you made about doing more than even I had done to hold the 'church' together?
JOSEPH SMITH: Where am I?
JESUS: Don't you remember? A few seconds ago you were in that jail.
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah; but where am I NOW?
JESUS: Don't you remember? Does bang - bang ring a bell?
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah - that crummy gun I had was about USELESS!
JESUS: I hope you left instructions on how to hold your church together.
JOSEPH SMITH: Dang! I knew there was SOMETHING I was forgetting!
JESUS: Looks like there's a power struggle going on down there.
JOSEPH SMITH: Yeah; there was always SOMEone who wanted the power that I held - especially over the LADIES - wink wink.
JESUS: No need to worry about that now; remember what my friend Matthew wrote down?
JOSEPH SMITH: This? “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30)
JESUS: That's it.
JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.
JESUS: Nah - it was right.
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh well; it was fun while it lasted. My buds will still get it on with the girls.
JESUS: Uh; I'm sorry; in just a few more years; your followers will cavein to the United States government and abandon the 'Eternal Covenant' that you came up with.
JOSEPH SMITH: ME!? YOU are the one that told me to do that!
JESUS: Sorry; but you must have mistranslated what I told you. What part of Do NOT commit ADULTERY did you not understand?
JOSEPH SMITH: mumble....
JESUS: What did you say?
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, nothing.
JESUS: Well; it was interesting talking to you; but now I must get back to perparing a place for those who believe in Me.
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, yeah; the Celestial Kingdom.
JESUS: No...
JOSEPH SMITH: The Telestial one?
JESUS: Nope.
JOSEPH SMITH: SUREly not the TERRESTRIAL one!!
JESUS: Nope. Didn't you read that the mind of man had NOT conceived of it? Paul wrote it down in 1 Corinthians 2:9.
JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.
JESUS: No; it wasn't.
JOSEPH SMITH: You SURE?
JESUS: Yes. Now I must be going: what did you say your name was again?
JOSEPH SMITH: Joseph Smith.
JESUS: Hmmmm. According to my Heavenly Faithbook, you didn't sign in as one of my friends - sorry, I never knew you.
JOSEPH SMITH: But....
701
posted on
06/15/2010 3:38:53 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: reaganaut
Yeah...
...take it up and ho!
702
posted on
06/15/2010 3:40:32 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: Tennessee Nana
Sandy it appears your posts are disingenuous...You need to brush up on your Roget...
703
posted on
06/15/2010 3:41:50 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: reaganaut
That is exactly what he did yet the LDS sing praises to him.
Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah!
Jesus annointed that Prophet and Seer.
Blessed to open the last dispensation,
Kings shall extol him, and nations revere.
Chorus
Hail to the Prophet, ascended to heaven!
Traitors and tyrants now fight him in vain.
Mingling with Gods, he can plan for his brethren;
Death cannot conquer the hero again.
Praise to his mem'ry, he died as a martyr;
Honored and blest be his ever great name!
Long shall his blood, which was shed by assasins,
Plead unto heav'n while the earth lauds his fame.
Chorus
Hail to the Prophet, ascended to heaven!
Traitors and tyrants now fight him in vain.
Mingling with Gods, he can plan for his brethren;
Death cannot conquer the hero again.
Great is his glory and endless his priesthood.
Ever and ever the keys he will hold.
Faithful and true he will enter his kingdom,
Crowned in the midst of the prophets of old.
Chorus
Hail to the Prophet, ascended to heaven!
Traitors and tyrants now fight him in vain.
Mingling with Gods, he can plan for his brethren;
Death cannot conquer the hero again.
Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven;
Earth must atone for the blood of that man.
Wake up the world for the conflict of justice.
Millions shall know 'Brother Joseph' again.
Chorus
Hail to the Prophet, ascended to heaven!
Traitors and tyrants now fight him in vain.
Mingling with Gods, he can plan for his brethren;
Death cannot conquer the hero again.
704
posted on
06/15/2010 3:44:16 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: T Minus Four
How about whiskers on kittens?
705
posted on
06/15/2010 3:45:51 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: Tennessee Nana
See what happens when you ain’t even tryin’?
706
posted on
06/15/2010 3:46:29 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: T Minus Four
What did you do to PO the powers that be? Not tithe enough?Born to a PRESBYTERIAN family!!
How ironic!
707
posted on
06/15/2010 3:47:44 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: SZonian
It is what I love, the irony of it all.
708
posted on
06/15/2010 4:03:19 AM PDT
by
ejonesie22
(Christians: Stand for Christ or stand aside...)
To: Tennessee Nana
We’ll be selling those many stupid mormon temples...
Nice White Temple; just about 10 miles north of the White House. Here is another 6 tower version, but in Turkey:
Got them cool mineret towers; already! Instabul's Blue Mosque
With just a little bit of CLEANSING, the temples could be used by the MUSLIMS; who are going to take over our country if we fail to elect Mitt as President!
709
posted on
06/15/2010 4:19:23 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: caww
Using the word “personages” is very deceptive, rather like the Democrates soft selling their demonic ideas and agendas.
It seems like the MORMONs have a HARD time figgering out just WHO was speaking to JS!!
17 It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!
18 My object in going to inquire of the Lord was to know which of all the sects was right, that I might know which to join. No sooner, therefore, did I get possession of myself, so as to be able to speak, than I asked the Personages who stood above me in the light, which of all the sects was right (for at this time it had never entered into my heart that all were wrong)—and which I should join.
19 I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: “they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.”
The First says the SON spoke; but their Scripture says only the FATHER spoke!
710
posted on
06/15/2010 4:22:55 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: caww
Perhaps the better question might be just what does the book of morman have which is not already written in the bible?Ah; Grasshopper; you are becoming wise!
THAT is why they try to get you to 'pray over it' and NOT any of the OTHER crap that they call Scripture!
711
posted on
06/15/2010 4:25:33 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: Normandy
HELLO!
This talks about baptizing alright - LIVE people!
712
posted on
06/15/2010 4:26:44 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: Elsie
MIND READING! I'm sorry. I should have said "you seem to want to, go ahead" :-)
To: Saundra Duffy; Elsie
“Tell Resty and Saundra they’re going to hell? You know you want to.” Because we will hit the abuse button and have their filth taken down; that’s why. He already did in post 406.
To: Normandy
THE SECOND BOOK OF NEPHI
CHAPTER 31
13 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I know that if ye shall follow the Son, with full purpose of heart, acting no hypocrisy and no deception before God, but with real intent, repenting of your sins, witnessing unto the Father that ye are willing to take upon you the name of Christ, by baptism -- yea, by following your Lord and your Savior down into the water, according to his word, behold, then shall ye receive the Holy Ghost; yea, then cometh the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost; and then can ye speak with the tongue of angels, and shout praises unto the Holy One of Israel.
Acts 19
Paul in Ephesus
1While Apollos was at Corinth, Paul took the road through the interior and arrived at Ephesus. There he found some disciples 2and asked them, "Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?"
They answered, "No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit." 3So Paul asked, "Then what baptism did you receive?"
"John's baptism," they replied.
4Paul said, "John's baptism was a baptism of repentance. He told the people to believe in the one coming after him, that is, in Jesus." 5On hearing this, they were baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. 6When Paul placed his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they spoke in tongues and prophesied. 7There were about twelve men in all.
Sigh...
Who you gonna believe?
715
posted on
06/15/2010 4:40:22 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: Invincibly Ignorant
"Health in the navel;
Marrow in the bones;
Strength in the loins and in the sinews
Power in the Priesthood Be Upon Your Posterity..."
The initiatory ordinance needs to be described in exquisite detail in the pre-baptism missionary discussion:
"You must now pay us 10% of your income for the rest of your life, so that you can buy admission into the temple for the privilege of getting naked and having an old geezer touch your private parts with oil.
"See, it doesn't matter how moral you are, how completely virtuous you may be in word, thought, and deed, if you don't receive the holy Naked-Touching in the temple, as well as secret handshakes and passwords. No, these rituals override your personal worthiness, your character, your deeds.
"Paying us lots of money for a recommend so that you can obtain the sacred Naked-Touching is the ONLY way God will let you see him again. Swearing an oath to allow yourself to be gruesomely executed, while pantomiming your own gruesome death is the highest degree of the gospel taught by Jesus.
"John wasn't fully forthcoming when he said 'God is Love': God isn't just Love; God is Secret Passwords and Handshakes! The Gospel of Jesus Christ is that all mankind can return to live with God if they pay for the privilege of getting Naked-Touching!"
Somehow, I'm betting that most converts are not taught this "fullness" of the gospel.......
There ought to be a full-disclosure lawsuit in here somewhere for not being informed that your participation in the secret ritual would require you to submit to sexual harassment.
In the scientific research world, this kind of abuse would get slaughtered by an Institutional Review Board on the grounds of violation of standard requirements for Protection of Human Subjects.
Did any of you sign a waiver, or notice of full prior disclosure prior to attending your initiatory ordinance, explaining that you were advised you would have to get naked, and then AFTER you were already naked (and therefore, feeling entirely vulnerable), have a stranger touch your groin?
716
posted on
06/15/2010 4:44:00 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: restornu
Wow. lds think the Word of God is “just” propaganda.
Resty, I love that over the last two weeks you have finally admitted what lds really is and what they believe.
717
posted on
06/15/2010 5:30:35 AM PDT
by
svcw
(Habakkuk 2:3)
To: reaganaut; All
When one is in state of apostasy they convince themselves the Lord’s Church is a ball and chain
Remaining in sin is the ball and chain making allowances for one’s pride not striving to learn how to do the Lord’s will.
Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven
The display of behavior shows that many here are just lip service as the Lord’s told Joseph in the grove.
Joseph Smith H-1
19 I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that:
“they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.”
all the behavior and mockery, flooding the threads with lies and distortion endlessly going on...
When one fine’s the Lord path they really have no need to hound those who chose to stay in the Big spacious building but to continue to strive to do thy will on Lord on earth, as it is in heaven and continue to hold on to the rod which is Jesus Christ
1 Nephi 11
35 And the multitude of the earth was gathered together; and I beheld that they were in a large and spacious building, like unto the building which my father saw. And the angel of the Lord spake unto me again, saying: Behold the world and the wisdom thereof; yea, behold the house of Israel hath gathered together to fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb.
36 And it came to pass that I saw and bear record, that the great and spacious building was the pride of the world; and it fell, and the fall thereof was exceedingly great. And the angel of the Lord spake unto me again, saying: Thus shall be the destruction of all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people, that shall fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb.
Nothing seems to have changed the anti’s still chose to fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb and the flock.
To: restornu
Joseph Smith H-1 19 I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage DEMON who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that:
719
posted on
06/15/2010 6:11:07 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: restornu
When one fine’s the Lord path they really have no need to hound those who chose to stay in the Big spacious building but to continue to strive to do thy will on Lord on earth, as it is in heaven and continue to hold on to the rod which is Jesus Christ
720
posted on
06/15/2010 6:13:39 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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