Posted on 12/04/2009 8:17:59 AM PST by Alex Murphy
THE Christians have been waiting a while and it's finally happened.
Rejoice, my earnest and well-meaning if misguided and deluded brothers! Jesus Christ has returned to earth ... as a stain on the bottom of an iron belonging to an American woman from Massachusetts in the US.
Why the son of God chose the iron of Mary Jo Coady upon which to make his triumphant return hasn't really been established, but Mary Jo is rapt.
She says the resemblance reassures her that 'life is going to be good' and that it proves 'he's listening'.
I'm no theological expert, as you know, but I wouldn't be too sure about that.
I was pretty certain that most Christians were of the view that when Jesus came back to earth, he was going to be in a 'kickin' ass and takin' names' kind of mood, which may not bode well for Mary Jo's delicates.
Being on the bottom of an iron and at the mercy of Mary Jo Coady's laundry schedule may make smiting the unrighteous a tad difficult, but I'm confident He knows what He's doing.
I'm sure the sceptics will ask: ''What was she ironing just before Jesus appeared? The Shroud of Turin, perhaps? Or a Grateful Dead T-shirt?''
There is also the thorny issue to consider of what Jesus actually looked like.
Given he was born in the Middle East 2000 years ago, it would seem fair to assume he was quite short, dark-skinned and semitic and didn't look anything like the pale, six-foot-tall blonde-haired surfer dude we've become used to.
The cynical might say that if the Middle Eastern-looking Jesus did come back to earth and landed in the United States, shouting about sin and God and whatnot, he would have been bundled off to Guantanamo Bay and waterboarded within five minutes.
But I'm prepared to put these concerns aside and accept that Jesus is an iron.
I mean, why not?
Though I have been dudded before. I leapt on the bandwagon a few years ago when some guy in New Mexico claimed to have seen Jesus on his toasted burrito, but that eventually only led to disappointment.
It seemed a bit unlikely, really, now I look back on it.
The problem with coming back as a burrito, or a taco, or even a hamburger, is twofold. One, the fast food aficionado that buys you may be an atheist or may not notice you there while he wolfs you down and we don't want to go any further with what may happen after that.
The second is, your convenience foods just don't last too long.
And nothing turns religious converts off quicker than a God whose mayonnaise has started to turn.
Have you watched the movie Screen door Jesus?
If dumb was dirt some people would be a half acre!
And leave it to the MSM to get a Larry the Cable Guy look/sound-alike to interview in those cases.....gotta make the rubes look as dumb as possible ya know?
The only Jesus I am interested in seeing is the real one.
I feel the same way.
its a sad world we live in.
I wonder what kind of film they used back in those days. Was it a Polaroid camera? I wonder how long she had to hold the pose.
The THIRD time you’ve posted about Jesus on an iron?
Only twice, and they were intentionally back-to-back - this one we're posting on, and this one. That third time you're thinking of might have been the Marian apparition.
JESUS
"Engrossed in her usual chores at home last week, Mary Jo Coady’s eyes suddenly focused on, of all things, the underside of her household steam iron. And there it was."
MARY
"When the closet light hits the iron's metal just right, the reflection on a nearby wall bears an uncanny resemblance to the Virgin of Guadalupe."
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