The Lost Art of Catholic Drinking

Inside Catholic ^ | November 26, 2009 | Sean P. Dailey

[NYer]

There is Protestant drinking and there is Catholic drinking, and the difference is more than mere quantity. I have no scientific data to back up my claims, nor have I completed any formal studies. But I have done a good bit of, shall we say, informal study, which for a hypothesis like this is probably the best kind.

To begin with, what is Catholic drinking? It's hard to pin down, but here's a historical example. St. Arnold (580-640), also known as St. Arnulf of Metz, was a seventh-century bishop of Metz, in what later became France. Much beloved by the people, St. Arnold is said to have preached against drinking water, which in those days could be extremely dangerous owing to unsanitary sewage systems -- or no sewage system at all. At the same time, he frequently touted the benefits of beer and is credited with having once said, "From man's sweat and God's love, beer came into the world."

 

Wise words, and St. Arnold's flock took them to heart. After his death, the good bishop was buried at a monastery near Remiremont, France, where he had retired. However, his flock missed him and wanted him back, so in 641, having gotten approval to exhume St. Arnold's remains, they carried him in procession back to Metz for reburial in the Basilica of the Holy Apostles. Along the way, it being a hot day, they got thirsty and stopped at an inn for some beer. Unfortunately, the inn had just enough left for a single mug; the processionals would have to share. As the tale goes, the mug did not run dry until all the people had drunk their fill.

 

Now, I'm not saying that Catholic drinking involves miracles, or that a miracle should occur every time people get together to imbibe. But good beer -- and good wine for that matter -- is a small miracle in itself, being a gift from God to His creatures, whom He loves. And as G. K. Chesterton wrote in Orthodoxy, "We should thank God for beer and burgundy by not drinking too much of them." In other words, we show our gratitude to God for wine and beer by enjoying these things, in good cheer and warm company, but not enjoying them to excess.

 

Just what constitutes excess is for each person to judge for himself. However, we now approach the main difference between Catholic drinking and Protestant drinking. Protestant drinking tends to occur at one extreme or another: either way too much or none at all, with each being a reaction to the other. Some people, rightly fed up with the smug self-righteousness of teetotalers, drink to excess. And teetotalers, rightly appalled at the habits of habitual drunkards, practice strict abstinence. It seems to occur to neither side that their reaction is just that: a reaction, and not a solution. If they considered it a bit, they might see a third way that involves neither drunkenness nor abstinence, yet is consistent with healthy, honest, humane Christian living.

 

Here we encounter Catholic drinking. Catholic drinking is that third way, the way to engage in an ancient activity enjoyed by everyone from peasants to emperors to Jesus Himself. And again, it is not just about quantity. In fact, I think the chief element is conviviality. When friends get together for a drink, it may be to celebrate, or it may be to mourn. But it should always be to enjoy one another's company. (Yes, there is a time and place for a solitary beer, but that is the exception.)

 

For example: The lectures at the annual Chesterton conference are themselves no more important than the attendees later discussing those same lectures over beer and wine (we tend to adhere to Hilaire Belloc's rule of thumb, which is to avoid alcoholic beverages developed after the Reformation). These gatherings occur between talks, during talks -- indeed, long into the night -- and we typically fall into bed pleasantly stewed. I cannot imagine a Chesterton conference without this. And yet I also know how detrimental it would be if we all stumbled back to our rooms roaring drunk.

 

Avoid each extreme -- that's how you drink like a Catholic. This is the art of Catholic drinking. There are plenty of our brethren who consider drinking somehow immoral, and there are plenty of others who think drinking must end with great intoxication. But the balanced approach -- the Catholic approach -- means having a good time, a good laugh, sometime a good cry, but always with joy and gratitude for God's generosity in giving us such wonders as beer and burgundy. Remember that, and the lost art of Catholic drinking may not remain lost.

[dangus]

>> St. Arnold (580-640), also known as St. Arnulf <<

... after a few more, he was also known as Shenn Ahnilff, then, heyoo zheeshush gah.

[dangus]

Leviticus 10:9 says don’t drink ... when you come into the meeting tent.
Proverbs 20:1 is completely consistent with Hilaire Belloc’s quote about giving thanks for beer by not drinking too much of it.

[dangus]

You are joking, right?

[dangus]

Non-denominationalism is often a denomination itself, with its own conferences, its own creeds, etc. A church which identifies itself as “non-denominational” has identified its denomination. Mind you, not all non-denominational churches are non-denominational; some are actually non-denominational.

[dangus]

Grape juice was invented by Dr. Welch, a presbyterian preacher’s son. Yes, I mean what I said: “invented.” Prior to Welch’s, there was no such thing as grape juice. Fermenting is a quickly occurring and spontaneous process. Welch discovered how to block it. Hence, the ancient Jews could not possibly have meant “grape juice,” since it was a product they were completely unfamiliar with.

The bible also notes (loosely) that “no-one” drinks straight water. Adding wine to it disinfected it, making it reasonably safe to drink. One who grew up drinking straight water was one who grew up in an unusually pure environment, with their own private source. Safe water was a mark of royalty!

“Lay hands suddenly on no man, neither be partaker of other men’s sins: keep thyself pure; Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake and thine often infirmities.” — 1 Timothy 5:22-23

[ichabod1]

If you want to drink half the beer, bring along a baptist.
If you want to drink ALL the beer, bring along TWO baptists.

[mnehring]

The bible also notes (loosely) that “no-one” drinks straight water. Adding wine to it disinfected it, making it reasonably safe to drink.

This also contradicts the old myth that wine then wasn't very strong. It had to be strong enough to be a disinfectant.

[ichabod1]

So, if you crush up grapes and leave it at room temperature for a certain period of time you’ll have wine?

[mnehring]

So, if you crush up grapes and leave it at room temperature for a certain period of time you’ll have wine?

That's basically how it is made (albeit a crude way).

[alarm rider]

For later reading. Thanks for posting.

[ArrogantBustard]

In fairness, I’m met my share of protestants (usually of the Anglican or Lutheran variety) who know the proper use of adult beverages.

[Hegewisch Dupa]

If they aren’t joking they must be one of those people who worship the “Hey - Kooooool Aid” guy - since he can turn water into juice too.

[ArrogantBustard]

So, if you crush up grapes and leave it at room temperature for a certain period of time you’ll have wine?

There's a lot of wild yeast living naturally on the surface of the grape ... the little yeasties start getting all happy the instant the grape is crushed. Their favourite thing (God bless 'em) is to eat sugar and poop alcohol. Beer and sourdough bread come from similar processes.

Yes, we're drinking yeast poop.

Na zdrowie!!!!

[Night Hides Not]

What I learned in both places is not to try to keep up with a Jesuit.

My training at Gonzaga University was great preparation for my 4 1/2 years in Germany. My German neighbors marvelled at my ability to keep up with them long before I developed my proficiency in their language.

It was not uncommon to see a Jesuit priest walking across the Quadrangle with a near empty wine jug on a Saturday morning.

Nothing but fond memories of my four years at GU...at least those I can remember. :^)

[ReignOfError]

I once had an Irish-American waitress berate me for ordering Bushmill’s; it isn’t just your mom who considers it a Protestant whiskey. The funny part is that I ordered it with a Bass chaser, and the waitress was more offended by the Protestant whiskey than the English beer.

Next round, I ordered a Jameson’s as a gesture of reconciliation, like wearing both green and orange on St. Patrick’s Day.

[ReignOfError]

If you want to drink half the beer, bring along a baptist. If you want to drink ALL the beer, bring along TWO baptists.

Catholics don't recognize divorce.
Protestants don't recognize papal authority.
Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store.

[dangus]

Yeah. My father used to raise grapes and use them for jellies. If he’d leave the skins/mash/seeds out for even just an evening on the countertop, the bag he’d put them would be swollen with alcohol and/or vinegar and/or CO2 vapors. This is not to imply you can get good wine. Good wine requires the removal of tannins, reduction of astringency, the slow process of secondary fermentation, etc.

[Lorica]

Next round, I ordered a Jameson’s as a gesture of reconciliation, like wearing both green and orange on St. Patrick’s Day.

That's funny! And quite diplomatic of you. :)

[ichabod1]

What’s the difference between baptists and methodists? Methodists recognize each other at the liquor store.

[Hegewisch Dupa]

"Hey look - water to juice!!! Where do I sign up to worship it???"