***Would you like to see a picture of my cat? I’d compose a poem, but it’s been a long day, and my husband has a travel video on.***
I have a translation of the LOLcat Bible http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page that I will post excerpts from here. Nehemiah 10:
10 Ai haz seed dat the catnips no haz given two teh preasts an other doods, so ai give it dey.11 An den Iz said two all teh leaders “SRSLY, WAI YUZ NO RESPECK CEILING CAT AN HIM HOUS?! WAI?!?!” An den ai maed dem acted wriet.12 Den all teh izreelites haz putted teh cheezburger an catnips awai, an dey haz no eated dem.13 An Iz maed Shelemiah an sum other dood watched teh cheezburger an catnip two maek shur dey no iz eated.14 Ai srsly hopes Ceiling Cat apprwecaet good stuffs Iz doed four Him.
Nehemiah iz Changin Restings Dai
15 Iz seed yuz doods makin wien wif yu feets on teh dai ov rest. Yuz also doed moar werk an carrain tings an evan doed stuffs wif donkais. Yuz evan bied cheezburger on teh dai ov rest, an YUZ HAZ EATED DEM!16 Deez tyrian doods, dey haz also browt yuz fish an tings on teh dai ov rest, an YUZ HAS EATED DEM TWO!17 SRSLY, ai noooo tink Ceiling Cat iz liking all yuz workin on him dai ov rest! Yuz nevar workin; yuz veree veree veree lazee, so wai yuz workin on dai ov resting?! WAI??!!18 Yuz doods haz two respek Ceiling Cat moar oar him oblitarait yuz lik him doed two yuz mommies an yuz daddies. Yuz annoi teh Ceiling Cat, den yuz ded. Srsly.
Isaiah 58:1 Yu shud meow lotz cuz ya liek yu needa tell teh noobz there dumb.2 Thar ahweyz lukin foar meh an liek but dat wuz before wen thay wuzent ghey.
Psalms 11:4 Ceiling Cat is in teh ceiling;
Ceiling Cat is on his pimpd out kitteh bed.
He cheks teh ppl;
his eyes chek tehm duh.
5 Ceiling Cat laikz teh h4x,
but teh lamzors n trols
r on teh rode to destrucshun.
6 On teh lamzors he wil drop
burning cat pu;
taht burnz tehr akshun figur colekshuns.
7 For Ceiling Cat rulz,
4 great justice;
kewl d00dz wil c him’s fuz face. Rawk!
Psalm 127:1 If Ceiling Cat not maek kitteh condo, den condo iz not be maked rite. If Ceiling Cat iz gaurding stuffs, den iz ok for peeps to taek napz.
Sorry, was there anything else?
Ceiling Cat! LOLZ!
The poster in question apparently believes himself to be “Himself” and uses both scriptural and original (with him) prophesies to make his rather vague and convoluted points.
Meanwhile, I have some nice mini-Bonbel and Baybels on hand. Do you like cheese?
“...taht burnz tehr akshun figur colekshuns.”
That’s when I had the coughing fit!
Funny!
ROTFLOL
Cat poo mixed with burning plastic could have been one of the plagues.