I wish more Calvinists were as gentle and loving in disagreement as you are. Excellent writing.
Seriously though, I'm not sure who you've run into that has given you a bad impression of Calvinists, but I assure you we are very pleasant people to be around, but I am a little biased.
Like I said in my later post, I prefer not to get caught up in the minutiae, but prefer to keep the perspective that, but for the grace of God, we would all be bound for Hell. It is a great equalizer.