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Geez Louise, I see nothing that is “secret” in this scenario of people vanishing in plain sight, with a terrible sight in the sky accompanying it.

No, the secret aspect has always been that folks will have disappeared and no one left knows where they went, that is, that Christ returned so secretly that no one even knew what the cause (his return) was of the effect (people disappearing). By the way, the idea of people disappearing came largely from that song "I wish we'd all been ready." You remember, "Two people walking up the hill, one disappears and one's left standing still. I wish we'd all been ready." The scripture that is supposed to reference, though, is not referring to a believer being taken, the unbeliever left, but the unbeliever taken in judgment, the believer left (referring to Jesus's teaching that the good and the evil would grow up together until the harvest at the end of the age when the angels would take out the evildoers first, leaving the sons of the kingdom untouched).