ROTFL! When I was working at an S&L in 1974, a popular women's fashion was baby-doll tops (they're in now, again). I was wearing one, and the male half of the couple I was doing a mortgage loan for asked me, "When are you due"? I laughed and told him I wasn't pregnant, just fat, at about the same time that his wife slapped him hard on his arm, and said, "Don't EVER ask a woman that question!". Poor guy, he was just mortified!
LOL! There is no recovery from that one. There is nowhere to hide. Your best hope is that sudden volcanic activity will open up a rift in the earth and that the lava will end your misery... ;-)