Posted on 11/13/2008 6:45:48 AM PST by Between the Lines
Ex-evangelical leader Ted Haggard, who fell from grace after the exposure of his sex and drug scandal two years ago, recently opened up about the dark secret from his past that likely led to his downfall as an adult.
He spoke at Open Bible Fellowship Church, a small congregation in Morrison, Ill., on Nov. 2 – the second anniversary of his resignation as president of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals.
The church’s pastor, Chris Byrd, is a long-time friend of Haggard of over 30 years.
“The first thing I want you to know is I sinned,” Haggard told the congregants.
He revealed that at the age of seven a man who worked for his father had a "sexual experience" with Haggard.
“I didn’t think anything of it and I tell you that not simply as an explanation, certainly not as an excuse,” Haggard said.
After the incident, Haggard lived as if he never had such an experience: accepting Jesus into his life at age 16, meeting and marrying his wife Gail, having five children, and founding a successful megachurch in Colorado.
But at the age of 50, the same-sex incident came back to haunt him.
“There I was, 50 years old, a conservative Republican, loving the word of God, an evangelical, born-again, spirit-filled, charismatic, all those things,” he said. “But some of the things that were buried in the depths of the sea from when I was in second grade started to rage in my mind and in my heart.”
He recalls driving to his church in the middle of the night in September 2006 and praying, “God, do whatever it takes to deliver me.”
“I thought do whatever it takes. I’ll lay anything on the altar. I hate this thing, but there were times I loved it,” Haggard remembered. “But I hate this thing, but there were times I loved it."
“I’d walked around the auditorium in the middle of the night thinking this is going to cost me everything,” Haggard recalled. “This incredible war was going on inside of me.”
During one intense prayer session before the scandal broke out, Haggard remembered feeling a deep connection with God and firmly vowing to “never do it again.”
He did not say specifically what “it” was and how he sinned during the sermon, but former gay prostitute Mike Jones had accused him of immoral acts of sex and crystal meth use.
After Haggard made his promise to God, he said he felt like a demonic power spoke to him and said, “All hell will break loose on you because of this.”
Then a few months later in November 2006 news of Haggard’s sex scandal made headlines around the world with a newspaper carrying the headline, “All Hell Broke Out at New Life Church.”
"I'm very, very sorry that I sinned," Haggard said at Open Bible Fellowship Church. "And if any of you are in sin right now it is going to cost you more than you could ever imagine. And it is going to bring shame on your wife and your kids. And so no matter what it is you get rid of it no matter what the cost. I mean you just do whatever it takes to get rid of sin. Do not sin.”
He added, “You are going to pay. Your family, everyone that loves you will pay. Everyone that hates you will pay. Everyone will pay if you sin.”
He noted in particular that one of his sons is named Ted Haggard and because of the scandal he was forced to carry his father’s shame in school, as did his other children.
“I want to assure you that I am deeply sorry for the sin that arrived in my life,” Haggard said. “To all of you at Open Bible Fellowship, because of my name’s relationship to you. I’m confident that I embarrassed you and shamed you and I’m sorry that I did that. And I will not do that again.”
He also apologized to his former church in Colorado, New Life Church, to the National Association of Evangelicals, to the body of Christ, and to his wife and family.
“My wife - all my sin and shame fell on her. People treated her as if she had fallen. And my children - they all went through carrying my shame," Haggard said.
There was a time after the scandal that he was suicidal and would lay in bed “paralyzed with shame” about what had happened. During that period, he could not pray or read the Bible and was figuring out “how I was going to kill myself and rid the world of the horrible curse of Ted Haggard.”
Nearly no one wanted to associate themselves with the Haggards and many would say or do things to hurt the family but would say “I love you” when they met face to face, he recalled.
Through the painful experience he learned that love is action.
He shared that one of his children is handicapped and is very expensive to care for. Haggard remembered a friend had offered to cover all of his son’s expenses for awhile when they did not have money.
“There was no way we could have taken care for Jonathan because he was handicapped in the midst of our handicap,” Haggard said. “So that was Jesus’ hand extended in a practical way.”
“The mark isn’t the emotion of fuzzy love,” he said. “The mark is courage. To love the unlovable. The courage to heal the guy with leprosy,” the former megachurch pastor said.
“I got leprosy, now we are starting to come out of it,” he said noting that he is starting to make a living selling life insurance.
Jesus wasn’t just sympathetic to “lousy people,” or kind to awful people, but he became one of them and took on their identity, Haggard preached.
In contrast, some Christians say, “Let’s help the poor and needy, we need to help those little people” when Jesus taught that Christian should think, “I am poor and needy and I’m going to help every poor and needy person I know of. I am depraved, Jesus has done a miracle in me, I’m going to help the depraved.”
He ended his first public message since his scandal by stating that in all aspects, ranging from his spiritual life to his family life, he has become stronger as a result of the incident.
“I thank God that He completes the work that He began in us,” Haggard said.
Well isn’t that.... special...
Sin is a tragedy, no matter who it affects. And it’s clear that Christians sin just as non-Christians do. The Bible is clear on that. That’s why we’re told in the Bible to ask for the forgiveness of our sins, everyday and not to say we do not sin (because whoever says that is a liar, according to the Bible).
I hope and pray that he gets his life in order.
Now, my question for all, how many of you had heard of Ted Haggard before his scandal? I think his case was pushed by the MSM to show how some preachers fall short of the standards they want others to live by, thus making their political statement about ministers and religion in general.
It’s sort of how the MSM pushed George Allen saying “macaca” as such a vile insult that he shouldn’t be re-elected to the Senate. The MSM had to repeatedly define the word “macaca” for us so that we would know that it was allegedly a racial/ethnic slur, and tie in with the MSM world view that there is zero tolerance for such slurs, at least among Republicans. Democrats are held to a different standard.
He made his living off of leading people in prayer. Maybe he was devout and maybe he was a charlatan. But now that he is out of money for male prostitutes and meth, he comes hat in hand to lead another congregation? Not on anyone with any brains dime.
John, Chapter 8:
1 Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.
2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.
3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. 9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
Matthew, Chapter 7:
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.
Don’t you love these “now that I’ve been caught I’m glad so I can repent” types....
Not only did he sin, he lied effortlessly about it. That was the most disturbing part. A church leader should be blmeless and above reproach. Haggard sacrified that on the altar of power.
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:Luke, Chapter 17:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
3 ¶ Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
Haggard never trespassed against me. I don’t need to forgive him.
1Ti 3:1-10 MKJV
(1) Faithful is the Word: If anyone reaches out to overseership, he desires a good work.
(2) Then it behooves the overseer to be without reproach, husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, well-ordered, hospitable, apt at teaching,
(3) not a drunkard, not contentious, not greedy of ill gain, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous,
(4) ruling his own house well, having children in subjection with all honor.
(5) (For if a man does not know to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
(6) not a novice, lest being puffed up he may fall into the condemnation of the Devil.
(7) But he must also have a good report from those on the outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the Devil.
(8) Likewise the deacons are to be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of ill gain,
(9) having the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.
(10) And let these also first be tested, then let them minister without reproach.
how many of you had heard of Ted Haggard before his scandal?
I did. But, to me, he was just another supposed evangelical leader who did not speak for me.
Elmer Gantry
Ping to read later
We are all sinners saved by grace, but this man held himself out as a godly man and led others. He had a responsibility to seek help before he fell, not enjoy his sin til he is found out. Note he says he was aware ‘what this could cost’ him.
He should have been aware what his sin cost Christ.
I am a sinner, I do not condemn him, but he should never have any leadership in the church again
He should be cleaning the toilets and not preaching from the pulpit.
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