I’m sorry that you have not been able to open your heart and mind to the Holy Spirit. It is truly my prayer for you, with love, that you do.
What you have now, while wonderful, pales in comparison with the joy you would experience by overcoming the obstacles put in your path to full unity with Jesus Christ, which I know you truly desire.
I already have the Holy Spirit, big ol freeper. I have opened my heart and my mind to Him, many years ago. I appreciate your prayers and your love. I know many Catholics who do NOT have the Holy Spirit. What about them?