Posted on 11/05/2007 6:30:37 AM PST by NYer
Dear Family Regretfully, I have a message that does not come without significant pain to both you and me. I have to tell you in all honesty and truth, that I have been personally involved with helping a widow and her struggling family. Over the course of time, the mother and I have grown very close. As a result, I am compelled to take some time off to prayerfully and honestly discern my future. I am truly sorry of the impact this may have on so many. I am not unaware of the gravity and magnitude of the situation, yet after much wise counsel, it is really something that I must deal with now for the good of all. With that said, it is best that I deal with it away from EWTN. Therefore, I have asked for and graciously been granted some extended time to prayerfully discern my vocation. To those who are part of the EWTN family locally, and others throughout the world, especially all those who have supported me so faithfully in my priestly vocation and ministry here on Life on the Rock, I sincerely apologize. I ask for your prayers and understanding during this time that is so very difficult, but yet so very necessary. Please lift me up in your humble prayers to Jesus through Mary, our Mother, in Grace and Mercy. Fr Francis Mary, MFVA
Fr Anthony Mary then said "Brothers and Sisters of our EWTN family, this is a time in which Fr Francis and all involved are in great need of your prayers and your support as our family. Always remember that no one is beyond the power of God's Mercy or Redemption. And on Fr's behalf, I humbly ask that you pray for him. God bless you."
Please remember Fr. Francis Mary in your prayers.
I would join others who have been calling for prayers on behalf of Fr. Francis Mary. We should also remember in our prayers the fact that he is in a very grave situation.Dear Family,
Regretfully, I have a message that does not come without significant pain to both you and me. I have to tell you in all honesty and truth, that I have been personally involved with helping a widow and her struggling family. Over the course of time, the mother and I have grown very close. As a result, I am compelled to take some time off to prayerfully and honestly discern my future.
I am truly sorry of the impact this may have on so many. I am not unaware of the gravity and magnitude of the situation, yet after much wise counsel, it is really something that I must deal with now for the good of all.
With that said, it is best that I deal with it away from EWTN. Therefore, I have asked for and graciously been granted some extended time to prayerfully discern my vocation.
To those who are part of the EWTN family locally, and others throughout the world, especially all those who have supported me so faithfully in my priestly vocation and ministry here on Life on the Rock, I sincerely apologize. I ask for your prayers and understanding during this time that is so very difficult, but yet so very necessary.
Please lift me up in your humble prayers to Jesus through Mary, our Mother, in Grace and Mercy.
Fr Francis Mary, MFVA [I have verified the text personally. - AmP]
I will indeed remember Fr. Francis Mary in prayer. He has taken his vocation as Father seriously. Now he is being honest with all regarding his calling to another ministry - that of husband and father to this widow’s family.
Surely the vocation of father and husband is a calling as holy as is any other in God’s ordination; but it is a serious decision indeed, especially in light of this hurting world’s need for good priests...
I lift them all up in prayer, the widow, the children, the church, and most of all Fr. Francis Mary. May he be led by the Holy Spirit to his true vocation, and be blessed.
No, what he has done is violate an extremely sacred trust and placed his soul and the soul of the widow he speaks of in great peril.
I pray for them both and I hope the best for them both - but please don't put any lipstick on a pig.
This is scandalous and wrong.
Lifting prayers for all involved in this case. These things are never easy or quite what it seems on the surface.
My cousin left the priesthood under similar circumstances and it caused much conflict and pain.
I really enjoy Life on the Rock and Fr. Francis Mary, I pray he finds the right path.
I have to agree with you here. Sacred vows of the priesthood should not be taken lightly.
St. Faustina spoke of seeing many souls of priests in hell because they could not honor their vows. (I need to go back and find that link in another FR thread).
He always seemed a bit “unsettled” to me. His wisecracks about the friar who helps him out on “Life on the Rock” were often too pointed. Anyway, he’s human, and I wish him the best.
Thank you. We don't say of a husband and father who leaves his family and takes up with a widow and her children that he is a good husband and that he is living his vocation.
We acknowledge that he is an adulterer because he broke his solemn vow before God and man to live chastely according to his vocation.
There is no reason why a priest should be praised on breaking his solemn vow before God and man to live chastely according to his vocation, while we blame the adulterer simultaneously.
It is normally considered a grave breach of professional conduct for a counselor to engage in a romantic relationship with a vulnerable and emotionally needy person - like a widow - whom he is supposed to be assisting.
And in this case we have a man who holds himself up as an example and teacher to the EWTN community.
Pretending this is no big deal or somehow OK or justified makes Catholics look like stupid hypocrites: not exactly the witness we are supposed to be presenting to the world.
Excellent summary. Where were his superiors, I wonder, while he was entertaining temptation with a needy single woman?
Please don’t get me wrong - let me clarify; he has taken his vocation as Father seriously up to this point, certainly through his ministry at “Life on the Rock”. Those who have felt the Spirit were not mistaken, for God will work his perfection even in we who are imperfect, and his Priests are no exception. To my knowledge, Fr. Francis Mary has brought his troubles to his flock not out of shame, but in a genuine request for prayer in face of difficult choices. Has he sinned against God in this, to be faced with choices, or ask for the prayers of the people? Even if we count his desire for the widow as sin, is it sin if does Fr. Francis Mary does not act upon that desire, but instead asks for the prayers of his flock?
If he has not yet sinned in the eyes of God, then is there shame in his call for prayer?
To discount the past work of God in the face of man’s present trouble is a sin as well. We must lift all up in prayer, and call upon God.
Actually, that is my question - has he been found to be in a “romantic relationship” already? It makes a big difference if he is already physically involved...
But to merely ask for prayer and to remove oneself from the situation is not sinful as far as I know.
Prayers for his discernment. May he keep God Almighty and God’s will forever in his sight and heart.
Who knows? My gut tells me that if EWTN is erasing any evidence he ever existed from their website and if he is using euphemisms like "grown close" in his letter it indicates that he's already done something pretty serious.
Were he simply exchanging love notes and sidelong glances his ministry and his career would likely not have come to this pass.
As NYer pointed out, an EWTN anchor referred to his situation as one of "evil and sin."
But to merely ask for prayer and to remove oneself from the situation is not sinful as far as I know.
He has given no indication that he is removing himself from the situation - what he is doing is removing himself from sacerdotal ministry for the time being.
There is no shame in asking for prayers - every single one of us sinners needs them and should never hesitate to ask for them. He certainly has mine.
There’s no good served by complicating a problem like this one. There is only the one effective solution: as soon as the possibility of a “situation” manifests itself, one walks away from it. That simple but necessary step preserves and honors the vows taken.
If taking the simple step of walking away from temptation is necessary to preserve marriage vows, it’s also just as necessary to preserve religious vows.
BTW, the care of widows and orphans is a responsibility better served by lay people. Our Lord said as much.
**If he has not yet sinned in the eyes of God**
Only God knows.
“If a man looks on a woman with lust”
I forget the rest of the Biblical quote.
However, he says that the one iron exception to this practice is sexual temptation - that the only way to beat it is to never think about or dwell on it but busy one's self with other pressing tasks and responsibilities.
He was wise.
Thank you for the insight. I suppose I come from a more innocent perspective, where a man might actually come for healing and prayer from the “temptation” side of the equation, rather than the “sin” side...
There is my great folly; I still believe that a man may do what is right, even in the face of temptation. Am I truly the most ridiculous of all women to believe such a thing? Is it even possible? Or is it to be counted among God’s rare miracles that one could find the strength to approach our spouses, our churches, our families, and together beat back the demons of lust and heartache before they strike?
How much more holy it would be - before temptation becomes sin - for priests, husbands, wives to go those to whom they have vowed fidelity, and ask for prayer!
Prayers for Fr Francis Mary.
Of course he can.
I'm a man, and I have faced temptation against my marriage vows - and the only solution for a married man is to simply excuse oneself from a conversation or a party or a gathering and head home immediately to be with his wife and kids or head to the nearest phone to talk with them. And saying a quick prayer doesn't hurt either.
If you sit around with the temptation thinking that you can deal with it on your own, you're not thinking. Only grace can help you avoid evil - your own willpower certainly can't.
Just nip it in the bud.
I'd rather have something think I'm rude and paranoid than hurt my wife or my kids.
And priests are trained in the ministry for these kinds of situations. When someone is in danger of crossing a line, they are trained to find a new counselor or helper for that person.
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