Evangelist Benny Hinn Accidentally Slays Himself In The Spirit

What?..Um - theological satire ^ | June 22, 2007 | Seth

[Alex Murphy]

HERSHEY, PA - Evangelist Benny Hinn is recovering from severe head trauma after accidentally slaying himself in the Spirit during his Holy Spirit Miracle Crusade conference in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Hinn was speaking to a crowd of over ten thousand people when he inadvertently directed his healing powers too close to his head, resulting in a major concussion. Witnesses say the force of power was so strong that Hinn was literally rocketed five feet above the stage and blown back several yards. Hinn is now recovering in stable condition at the Milton S. Hershey Medical Center intensive care unit.

“If it weren’t for the bodies already slain in the Spirit lying on the stage, who knows how much more badly Hinn would have been hurt!” stated Charles Russell, Hinn’s advisor. “It’s a sign of God’s protection over Hinn that they were there to break his fall. I’m sure God will bless those people for their great service.”

Immediately after the accident, Hinn was rushed for an emergency flight to the hospital on his luxury Gulfstream GS4P jet, Dove One, for medical treatment. “Praise God!,” exclaimed Charles, “It is such an affirmation of God’s continued blessing that Brother Hinn was able to receive treatment quickly thanks to God’s gift of this beautiful aircraft. Had we not purchased this amazing six-million dollar jet, Brother Hinn might no longer be with us . . . what a terrible thought!”

One of the attendees of the conference, Ben Matlock, has been slain in the Spirit by Hinn many times. He shared with us why Hinn’s accident was so serious. “You see, God has manifested a very powerful gift within Benny Hinn. He has the power to force the presence of God on you in a way you wouldn’t believe unless you experience it for yourself. When I’m up there on the stage, the air is electrified with emotion and supercharged with the Spirit. Then when Hinn walks up to you, your heart feels like it’s going to pound out of your chest. Then BAM! Next thing you know you’re lying on the ground in the arms of large bald men, feeling all woozy inside, then you look around you and see all these people laying down on top of each other like a scattered pile of coats.”

Matlock went on to say, “It’s no wonder that Hinn suffered a serious injury. He could have been killed from the event. The power of the Spirit during Hinn’s conferences is overwhelming, but being slain in the Spirit by such a powerful man of God is exponentially more powerful than you can imagine. It’s like being punched square in the forehead, because essentially you are being punched square in the forehead. So Hinn basically punched himself in the face with the power of the Spirit in his fist! My head hurts just thinking about it.”

Sources say that Hinn is expected to fully recover as soon as he becomes conscious enough to heal himself.

Those interested in donating to help pay for the cost of Hinn’s jet Dove One can download the brochure here.

[Fintan]

And just why would I call you on your cell if we were at lunch????

 

OK, this is why we aren't married.

Hey, howsabout that Benny Hinn, huh???

And just why would I call you on your cell if we were at lunch????

 

[irishtenor]

It is an “AWE” type of fear, holding him in high honor, the wanting to do good because he is who he is, instead of a fear of punishment.

[teenyelliott]

You want me to call him from your cell?

[Fintan]

You want me to call him from your cell?

 

Praise the Lord and call me on a pay phone..

And buy me lunch.

You want me to call him from your cell?

 

[onedoug]

Check the pic on the litter. If that’s really him his hair’s fine.

[SeaHawkFan]

Some very humourous posts here, but let’s not go too far and mock a brother in Christ.

So, who wins the prize for funniest post?

[topcat54]

Shame on you. The prosperity-gospel folks and tongue-speakers are gonna take this seriously.

[truth_seeker]

“Some very humourous posts here, but let’s not go too far and mock a brother in Christ.”

Do you seriously expect me to fall for Hinn’s financial scam machine? While it is highly profitable, from a sheer business perspective, it isn’t even close to what I expect from legitimate Christianity.

He lives in a $4 million pad (in the county where I live), flies around in a $6 million dollar plane, to perform bogus staged stunts before gullible folks dumb enough to have their pockets fleeced.

If that represents Christianity to you, you are free to hold that view. If you find my remarks offensive, go to a religion board. This was once supposed to be a conservative political website.

To me it is more like Hinn is mocking Christianity, to exploit the those who can’t stay clear of the obvious scam. My brothers in Christ don’t steal from the gullible, like Hinn does.

He could start another late night TV business, selling books and CDs to those who want to learn how they do the stunts on stage, and how they rake in the cash.

http://www.ministrywatch.com/mw2.1/pdf/MWDA_053105_BennyHinn.pdf

[DragoonEnNoir]

Fear can come in many forms. There is always fear of that which intimidates and frightens us, but there is also a fear that comes from love.

If I love my Father, I desire to imitate him. I strive to be like him. I also fear falling short, not because I am afraid of losing his love, but because I do not want to let him down. He sees what I should be, and the thought that my words, thoughts or deeds fall short of that are terrible to me.

I can also fear his rightiousness, because I myself am a sinful man.

I can also fear his rightful judgement upon some of those I love, because they are rebellious against him. Though I pray for them, my prayers are not yet answered.

I do think a fear of hell has a place, especially for some people in the beginning of their faith. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, though I believe a mature faith is driven by love for God and love for our neighbour.

Just my own thoughts, through experience, prayer, and testing against scripture.

[DragoonEnNoir]

There were several contenders... the hair comments were my votes ;)

[DragoonEnNoir]

I understand your questioning of both Hinn’s methods and motives.

Even if he is not a ‘true’ follower of Christ, where in scripture does it say that we can then mock him and make fun of him or his appearance? Even pagans love their friends, but we are called to also love our 'enemies'.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate with one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Eph 4:29,31-32)

Be careful that in your desire to uphold God, you yourself do not fall. If you truly consider Hinn an anti-Christ (I have not heard Hinn deny that Christ came in the flesh or that he is the Messiah, so I think this charge is not scipturally supported), or if you see him as an enemy of biblical faith... then in faith pray for him.

[truth_seeker]

“Even if he is not a ‘true’ follower of Christ, where in scripture does it say that we can then mock him and make fun of him or his appearance?”

I made no fun of his appearance. I criticized his actions. If to you that is “mocking” you and I use the English language differently.

To me he is a dishonest man, taking advantage of weak people. Can find a Bible passage about people who do that?

The horrible thing is that he does it under the guise of Christianity. So sure I will criticize that.

[tyke]

Ok, then. No mocking. Just the truth. The only difference between Benny Hinn and those crooks and charlatans Peter Popoff and Robert Tilton (look them up if you don’t know who they are) is that Hinn has has the good sense (or good fortune) not to get caught.

There is not an honest bone in that man’s body, as has been shown by his willingness to backtrack on just about every promise he has ever made about being accountable for this actions. Even his autobiography contains verifiable untruths and exaggerations. Under the current laws of the United States, he’s just about untouchable, and he knows it. He fleeces his flock to line his own pockets (and those of his family and friends), lives high on the hog wherever he travels, and performs his dog and pony show in front of a crowd of credulous and hyped up people.

There are no healings, no slaying in the spirit. It’s all a fraud. Even the empty wheelchairs they line up at the front of the stage are a fraud. Nobody arrives in them, they’re just lined up there to impress the audience. Not a single truly disabled person has ever walked out of Hinn’s service on his own two feet. Not a single one in all the years he’s been doing it.

And people have died because they were given false hope, suspending treatment when they thought they had been healed. And even if they don’t, some become bitterly disappointed, blaming themselves for not having enough faith. Hinn leaves an unseen path of destruction and desolation in his wake, and he could not care less.

Calling Benny Hinn a man of God is nothing more than a sick joke.

[beachdweller]

If I were Hinn I would keep an eye out for stray lightning-bolts. Just saying.

[Cecily]

It’s no good playing the proof-texting game by citing some “be nice” verses. I can proof-text my contention that wolves, frauds and heretics were (and should continue to be) dealt with by Jesus and the Apostles harshly, vocally and publicly with many Scripture citations.

[sticker]

Benny Hill was more religious and had better looking "assistants":

[DragoonEnNoir]

I play no games with scripture, either with the ‘be nice’ ones, or the ones that talk of the wages of sin. If there has been anything unscriptural in my posts to you, then please point me to them and you will have my immediate apology because will be the one wrong, not scripture.

If I have not, then accept rebuke and take it before our Lord. If you have difficulty with scripture it is not me you struggle against.

[DragoonEnNoir]

Absolutely... if we are to proclaim that a man is a false prophet or a wolf in sheeps clothing, then we are to do it with truth.

Truth spoken with love, both for God and for our neighbour, is what we are commanded to do. This includes Hinn though... in our rebuke, is the ultimate goal to belittle our ‘enemy’, or to draw them closer to God?

Please note, I am NOT saying that drawing people closer to God means that we are soft on sin or on any biblical truth. We must however uphold those truths, even as we seek to point out the deception or lies. There is a time for God’s righteous anger. The wrath of man though, does not work the righteousness of God.

[DragoonEnNoir]

This article (I’m assuming) is a parody, which mocks under the guise of humour. While you yourself may not have criticised his appearance, the post was not addressed to you in particular, but rather to the tone of the general chat.

Yet you were taking part in the ongoing put downs, and said nothing. If we condone something, even though we ourselves did not ‘do’ it, are we not also partly responsible?

If we are servants of Christ Jesus, then our words and actions in all things should be in imitation of God, and to His glory. We have chosen to take his name as ‘Christ’ians, and that name must be kept Holy.

[opus86]

I hate it when that happens. Hopefully he can blow in his own face and get better.