Not me. That is the part only a few know about. Before this happened I was in no way shape or form ready or mature enough mentally or spiritually to deal with any of it. I excepted Christ IIRC about age 13 and I had my foolishness and stupidity of youth and young adult life to give account for. I paid for those deeds here on earth but they are forgiven in heaven but not because I deserve it.
GOD has a tool he uses to temper those he calls his own. Some need no tempering some need quite a lot. It's called adversity. Seems the stubborn one I was considerable amounts has been required. But without the tempering and without GOD's strength none of it would have happened. At 27 I was not ready for that and helping to raise two teenagers.
I've never felt since what I did in that hospital room by that I mean hearing the Voice of GOD assuring me in such a peaceful way. I know it happened. There is no doubt in my mind that is what happened. But I still have some real low turns in my spiritual life where I feel alone and even empty. Some are due to my own disability that developed afterward. Without GOD's help I would not have the concentration I need to make this reply :>} Some days reciting the Lords Prayer it is impossible to keep my train of thought. But what the mind and body can not do the Spirit does for me. :>}
I'm a sinner unworthy of any of the good handed me in my life including my wife whom I consider the biggest blessing GOD has sent my way. But without GOD sending her to me in such a way it was an impossibility that we'd otherwise even ever meet each other {another story of intervention} that I hate to think of what my state would be. I would not have grown I know that much. GOD has seen us through this and only through His grace has this happened for us.
I post it so those who have doubt and fear can read it and see maybe the answers to why's and how comes that raise doubts. The teenagers are grown with children. Their future would have been foster care. My wifes future would have been a nursing home and likely long dead by now. I would likely either be a Pot Head, Drunk, or both living in conditions that GOD did not wish I live in but my own bad choices would have caused.
Then again I can fully understand someone who has been handed such things and not being able to deal with them and heading to the bottle. It happened to a man I knew growing up. He was the community drunk a former Deacon who lost his wife and he could not overcome his pain. I saw more acts of Christianity in that man than I did many Deacons in the community. He fed kids that were not his when their dad would not. Nobody knew it of the man but a few. The neighbor of the woman with nine kids another Deacon would not give them so much as a drop of water from his well but asked them every Sunday to church.
I'd rather be the drunk facing GOD than the man refusing those in need that he could help water.
Me three. Your story was powerful. I notice when I pray to God, Jesus is the one that answers. He speaks in very short sentences, typically along the lines of "you dipstick, you know better than that". The words are nothing like the rare encounter with the Holy Spirit, however. All the best to you. Sharing that could not have been easy.
You are a very special man. Few people understand real love and even fewer are capable of practicing it. The world would be a better place if people carried love in their heart and lived the Gospel as you do.
My favorite people are the ones who turned their lives around 180'; who have gone through the fires of being tested and come out better for it. God bless you :-)