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Mass Appeal (Confessions of an unrepentant church shopper)
National Review ^ | 4/5/2007 | Jennifer Graham

Posted on 04/05/2007 12:54:38 PM PDT by Pyro7480

As part of the scary fringe of society that American liberals call “church-goers,” my family always checks out the local church before deciding to move to a new neighborhood.

We have some experience with this, having moved 11 times in 15 years. We’ve also changed churches without moving. If church shopping were a felony, I’d no longer be able to vote.

I am a ruthless church shopper, not because my family spends so much time in a sanctuary, but because we spend so little. I figure if we are going to spend only an hour or two each week in formal worship of the Almighty, it better be a quality hour, one with a challenging sermon, soaring music and no Game Boys in the next pew.

This is why we spent the better part of Lent shopping for a new church. The Game Boys did me in.

Here is how it began. A year ago, we had to move (again) and found a home we loved on two wooded acres in a charming New England town. As soon as we ditched the real-estate agent, we drove around, looking for confirmation that this was the right place for us. We found it: lots of runners and cyclists, smiling people walking Golden Retrievers, an old-fashioned town square, an occasional horse and rider, and — thanks be to God! — a gorgeous, grey-stone church just two miles from the house.

Now, I know there are many people who have meaningful religious experiences inside ugly churches, but I’m not one of them. I dislike modern structures that resemble gyms with crucifixes, with their rows of folding chairs. I want a church that looks like a church; the grander, the better. And this one looked the part. It was both majestic and simple, with stained glass befitting an anteroom of heaven. It was old. It was loved. Surely the people who worshiped within appreciated beauty and recognized its importance in the adoration of the Creator.

So, seduced by century-old stonework, I registered at the parish right away, skipping the month or two of church shopping that I usually put myself through. There was one Catholic church in this town — on Church Street, no less! — and we were going to be part of it. So, we moved, unpacked and, on the next Sunday, showed up for the 10 o’clock Mass and discovered we couldn’t all fit in the pew.

Now, as Catholic families go, with four kids, we’re hardly pushing the reproductive envelope. But, inexplicably, the pews at this church seat four adults comfortably, five snugly, and so somebody had to sit on a lap. Okay, we could deal with this, and even the kneelers designed by de Sade.

But, over the next few months, we discovered things we could not deal with, starting with the attire of our fellow worshipers.

Fleece and denim prevailed, with Spandex close behind. Washing appeared to be optional; ironing discouraged. Men collecting the offering wore T-shirts from their latest 5Ks. Whole families went to Communion in blue jeans with ragged edges that dragged on marble floor. Altar servers wore cowboy boots and Crocs.

For a while, some children were wearing Heelys in the fellowship hall, until the church posted a sign saying they were no longer allowed because they weren’t safe. WEREN’T SAFE? How about because they are disrespectful and inappropriate?

But we were new; I said nothing. These people may be dressed for a horse auction, but at least they were going to church. We would continue to dress up, believing that God (if not our neighbors) was deserving of our very best. More than once, someone would smile at my four-year-old, conspicuous in her smocked dress and polished shoes, and ask what was the special occasion was. “Uh….. Sunday?” I thought to myself, but kept quiet.

We kept going. The music, mediocre from the start, deteriorated. The church had a glorious organ, but the music was — how to put this kindly? — putrid. It was a bizarre mix of bad-old and bad-new, with too much synthesizing and background vocals that suspiciously sounded of recordings. The senior priest, frustrated, would wave his hands from the altar, trying to get mute people to sing.

But how could we? On a good day —- say, Christmas — the music resembled “Up With People” without the people. Who wants to sing along with that?

We kept going, even as a sixth of the congregation would arrive after the Creed and a quarter would leave after Communion. We kept going, even though no one seemed to know when to kneel or to sit; the lector would hurry to the microphone to say “please stand.” We kept going, even though no one ever welcomed us to the parish or acknowledged the checks we wrote each month. We kept going, even as people carried on conversations, not only in the allegedly quiet time before the service starts, but even while the Mass was under way. We kept going, as the altar server read the prayer book while the priest delivered his homily, as cell phones rang during the Eucharistic prayer, when a teenager in front of us checked a text message during the offering.

But then two kids in the next pew played Game Boys while waiting for Mass to start.

We stopped going.

Now, I won’t exaggerate the offense. The children played the Game Boys with the sound turned off and they put them away when the Mass began. Their parents were nicely dressed, and the kids were well behaved. But how much can one get out of worship when the preceding moments involve electronic images of Yu-Gi-Oh! characters? What kind of people expect so little of their children? What kind of priest expects so little of his congregation?

The Second Vatican Council begat the “folk” Mass, which was sometimes called the “hootenanny” Mass in the 1960s. It was supposed to attract young people, with guitars and tambourines and weepy ballads only vaguely related to God. (In high school, I sang in a folk choir that once passed off the Beatles’ “Let It Be” as a communion song. McCartney’s lyrics referred to his biological mother, Mary, not the Virgin, but whatever.)

People dressed down for the folk Masses, usually celebrated on Saturday or Sunday evenings, and that was okay in that setting and at that time. But somewhere along the way, people got the idea that what’s fine and appropriate for 6 P.M. Saturday is acceptable at 10:30 A.M. Sunday, and in many churches, that’s where we are today: Torn blue jeans and untied hi-tops have become our Sunday best. Every service is a hootenanny now.

A church, like any organization, reflects its leader, so as much as I may admire the faith of men and women who surrender their earthly lives to God, I hold them responsible for cowboy boots on the altar. Of course the parents are responsible first. But if the parents don’t do their job, then the pastor must step in. And if the pastor doesn’t do his, the bishop must, and so forth. Pope Benedict seems to sense a truth: At this point in the Church’s life, a little formality will do us some good.

So bring on the Tridentine Mass, and the new missal language, vernacular be damned. Make use of kneelers, and candles and incense, and if the service needs to be longer than an hour, let it. If it’s worthwhile, who will object? Make demands of your congregants. Give them reason to come, with sermons that don’t insult their intelligence and music that won’t make them groan. Pay musicians and singers if you must. A meaningful worship experience requires mystery and awe and beauty, all of which are conspicuously absent in too many churches today.

Two-thirds of professed American Christians will attend an Easter service this week. By Pentecost, seven weeks from now, attendance will drop by more than a third, and pastors will bemoan the loss of the lily-and-poinsettia crowd. But the lilies will be gone, of course, and by May, you’ll be hard-pressed to find any choir presenting a soul-stirring rendition of the “Hallelujah Chorus” as my grandmother’s church does every Easter. We can’t all be at our best every day, of course, but our churches must strive to be at their best every Sunday — not just twice a year. Then, maybe we can recapture the meaning of the words “Sunday best” before the phrase slips into antiquity.

A postscript: Not long after the Game Boy incident, we learned that the senior pastor at this church was retiring. A new priest soon arrived, a young and enthusiastic man who sings the Eucharistic Prayer and, while friendly enough, seems the sort who might lay down some rules. He recently announced that the lector would no longer tell us when to stand — we would have to figure that out on our own! — and there has been incense on the altar of late. We are encouraged. We will give it another try. It is, after all, a pretty church, and convenient. We don’t have to arrive early to get a seat; usually, there are plenty of pews.

Jennifer Graham is a writer and editor in the suburbs of Boston.


TOPICS: Catholic; General Discusssion; Religion & Culture; Worship
KEYWORDS: catholic; church; mass; parish
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To: AnAmericanMother

We did the Durufle and the Byrd last night too, but we threw in the Palestrina Sicut Cervus just for fun. Ten we did the Pangue Lingua in ENGLISH, but afterward the congregation started singing it in Latin. I had a sense they were sending us a message.


61 posted on 04/06/2007 8:55:30 AM PDT by ichabod1 ("Liberals read Karl Marx. Conservatives UNDERSTAND Karl Marx." Ronald Reagan)
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To: AnAmericanMother
Holy Thursday: Ubi Caritas (Durufle), Ave Verum (Byrd), and Pange Lingua (in its entirety)

ours started with Adoro te Devote last night. Doesn't get any better than that.

62 posted on 04/06/2007 9:37:39 AM PDT by Nihil Obstat (Kyrie eleison)
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To: Overtaxed
We're in Atlanta.

I have to say that it's probably the 2nd or 3rd most conservative parish in town (behind the Latin Mass parish).

63 posted on 04/06/2007 10:09:51 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: ichabod1

Actually there’s a lady with Down’s in my parents (Episcopal) choir. She vests and processes and everything, but she isn’t very loud so it’s o.k. and really not a problem at all. (I sing in their choir when we’re down there.)


64 posted on 04/06/2007 10:15:35 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: ichabod1

We’re going to use the “Sicut Cervus” for “filler” if communion runs long . . . (isn’t it awful to use that term to refer to such a beautiful work?) . . . we sang it on Gaudete Sunday (along with the Purcell “Bell Anthem” - “Rejoice in the Lord alway.”)


65 posted on 04/06/2007 10:17:12 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: ichabod1
What we refer to as the "Oxford allegedly Easy Anthem Book" . . . some of those are definitely NOT easy!

Our standbys are the Purcell collection and the "Sixteenth Century Anthem" anthology . . . both small size paperbound volumes.

66 posted on 04/06/2007 10:19:22 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: AnAmericanMother
Your church is definitely the exception and not the rule. The rule is that modern Catholic music is badly awash in folksy rhythms and instruments with the undercurrent of protestant gospel music type lyrics, if not an outright Protestant song.

While I certainly do not mind listening to How Great Thou Art and Amazing Grace as sung by Elvis or other great gospel singers, I do not find that these songs have a place in the Catholic liturgy and intentionally do not sing them when played there.

67 posted on 04/06/2007 11:29:59 AM PDT by theanonymouslurker
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To: theanonymouslurker
That's what I hear . . . of course, other churches aren't immune and I've heard some spectacularly bad music in Baptist, Lutheran, and Methodist churches.

Our rector is pretty serious about playing it 100 percent orthodox, we even use a missalette that isn't from OCP. Liturgical Press "Celebrating the Eucharist", with illustrations from the St. John's Bible (which is spectacular btw).

It's actually quite nice, good hymns in the back (largely German and older Anglican, with the usual older Catholic standbys (like "O Sacrament Most Holy"), and a few of the Eagles Wings/Gather Us In ones . . . but we just ignore those.)

68 posted on 04/06/2007 11:35:18 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: AnAmericanMother

Lol. Yeah, we did one out of that book a couple of weeks ago and it had all these accidentals and syncopation... definitely not easy. But that’s a happy mischaracterization. Most of us like a challenge.

More trouble with the Pange Lingua at Good Friday service today. We were supposed to wait until the end of the Veneration to start it, actually we finished The Reproaches too early because we didn’t do the text verses, and someone in the Congregation started singing it, and the choir didn’t know whether to follow the upstart in the Nave or not, so many of us stood there stone faced.

It was the same person that started it in Latin last night after we finished the English version. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but it shows us up. Gonna have to proscribe that person.


69 posted on 04/06/2007 3:58:30 PM PDT by ichabod1 ("Liberals read Karl Marx. Conservatives UNDERSTAND Karl Marx." Ronald Reagan)
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To: AnAmericanMother

My choir has more BOOKS than I’ve ever imagined. I now have a fairly large satchel stuffed with the things.


70 posted on 04/06/2007 4:00:50 PM PDT by ichabod1 ("Liberals read Karl Marx. Conservatives UNDERSTAND Karl Marx." Ronald Reagan)
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To: ichabod1

Don’t proscribe him . . . DRAFT HIM!


71 posted on 04/06/2007 4:10:09 PM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: ichabod1
I had an old choir bag that I used for years.

It had one of B. Kliban's cartoon cats singing and playing a guitar like a jazz man, and crooning, "Love to eat them mousies, mousies what I love to eat . . . bite they little heads off, nibble on they tiny feet . . . "

It finally wore out. I got a bigger bag. It promptly filled up. Oh, well.

72 posted on 04/06/2007 4:11:21 PM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: Pyro7480

Miami Springs has a Lutheran Church made entirely out of Coral. It was built years ago. Coral is not permitted nowadays as a building material but it is really kewl to look at both afar and up close.


73 posted on 04/06/2007 4:13:22 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: AnAmericanMother

All my other choirs have used sheet music. The last one nearly snowed me under because they would hand out all the music for the year at once and we filed them in these huge binders. I suppose being in smaller choirs it’s a better deal to invest in books that we can use over and over for years, whereas in big choirs it’s simply prohibitive.


74 posted on 04/07/2007 1:33:02 PM PDT by ichabod1 ("Liberals read Karl Marx. Conservatives UNDERSTAND Karl Marx." Ronald Reagan)
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To: ichabod1
I have two binders.

My big one has all the chant filed in order by title under one tab, and all the anthems filed in order by title under another tab, and a third tab for odds & ends like Latin pronunciation guides, warmups, etc.

My little one has one tab for Sunday's music, one tab for order of service, and one tab with all the Mass settings.

It works well unless I leave my binder on the piano . . .

Happy Easter! Christ is Risen!

75 posted on 04/07/2007 8:05:02 PM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: AnAmericanMother

Father forgot to proclaim “Alleluia! Christ Is Risen!” Me and one other guy in the choir, (a paid singer but he’s ok, and a liturgical purist) noticed. Then he started tbe homily with the proclamation... I don’t know if that was planned as the first line, or if he was making up for missing it, but me and the other guy sang out “The Lord Is Risen Indeed!” and then everybody in the choir turned and looked at us. We were proud of ourselves and quietly high fived after the attention passed.

Liturgically this Triduum has been the biggest train wreck I’ve ever seen, but I don’t really mind. Staff meeting this week should be really long, and really painful. But it’s a complicated liturgy, we have a new Parish Administrator, and the church is only about twenty years old. I think we were under-rehearsed for the Anglican Chants, and we had like four or five canticles tonight plus three anthems and about five hymns.

But again, I really don’t mind. This isn’t the kind of thing I’d leave a church for — this is the kind of thing where I want to be there and be part of the solution. As my new buddy noted, it’s got problems, but it’s the best liturgy in town.


76 posted on 04/07/2007 10:10:03 PM PDT by ichabod1 ("Liberals read Karl Marx. Conservatives UNDERSTAND Karl Marx." Ronald Reagan)
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To: ichabod1
This is just temporary stuff. Difficult liturgy takes a while to get used to, it will come.

As our choirmaster says, as long as nobody dies, we're ahead.

77 posted on 04/08/2007 11:15:17 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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