"After 35 years of being away form his wife, the priest told him the first thing to be done is to forgive his wife and the Lord would forgive him. "
I did that a long time ago. It was just not a good example for three children. It has been 33 years and I still wish I could have done better for them
I spoke to a very good, close priest friend of mine and he said that the children were adult and they would decide which direction they would go in. Just pray.
Fortunately, my kids and I are very close. They ahd some early problems but got over them and are married with children.
You and your wife are in my prayers.