"he couldn't understand why a loving God would consign his children to eternal flames..."
I have heard many people who profess to be Christians make this exact same statement. But the Lord DOES love us, and has given us His Son as an escape from eternal torment. As one of my favorite pastors often says, if people reject Christ here on earth, why would they even want to be in Heaven with God when they die?
There is nothing ambiguous about this statement from Jesus Himself: John 14:6 "...I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. "
I agree 100% - God does love us, and Jesus Christ has made a way for us back to the Father. But when people, expecially pastors, dismiss sinful behavior - appealing to God's love - and do not account for God's holiness, that is disturbing.