Posted on 08/25/2006 11:22:45 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
[EXCERPTED]
| WHEATON — A broad coalition of evangelical theologians has cracked the code of the Book of Revelation, solving its mysteries, metaphors and messages in what is being called a watershed moment in Christian history. The key to understanding the book's puzzling enigmas and fundamental message was "hidden in plain sight," say the scholars. The book's purpose and message can be summed up for lay readers as |
(Excerpt) Read more at larknews.com ...
THIS IS SATIRE. HUMOR.
You all remember "laughing" - that thing that you used to do, in response to watching "Gilligan's Island", before you became a Christian? Laughter is what your pastor is trying to provoke in you, when he tells those bad jokes at the beginning of his sermon. Right before "putting His enemies under his feet" (Psalm 110), IMO "getting Christians to laugh" must be the second-to-the-last thing that Christ will accomplish before the Second Coming.
| In Ecclesiastes 2:2, the author complains that laughter is "madness", asking "what does it accomplish?" Psalm 2:4 tells us that God, in heaven, laughs and scoffs at the kings of this earth "in derision". Psalm 37:13 says the Lord laughs at the wicked, for "their day is coming". But for the faithful, Genesis 21:6 tells us that laughter is an appropriate response to God's blessings, Job 8:21 promises laughter for those afflicted by Satan, and Psalm 126:2 says laughter is a sign to unbelieving nations that God has done great things for us. As Christians, we should learn to laugh more. |
That said, why do I include all these warnings, sirens, and sledgehammer-to-the-head graphics telling you not to take this seriously? Recently, a poster claimed that every one of my posts "end up making FReepers look publicly stupid." Please remember that those are not my words. While I'm appreciative of the compliment, I can't exactly brag about my I.Q. (I know at least four current- and former-FReepers who have I.Q.s from twenty to fifty points HIGHER than mine, so what bragging rights does that leave me?). Said poster insisted that I provide sufficient warnings on all my humor threads, in advance, telling you that you're about to read something ficticious and humorous. This is needed, apparently, to prevent you from having to think about what you're reading, and hurting yourself in the process. If it makes you feel any better, please know that I give you all more credit than that, but others don't. They thought that you looked stupid on my earlier threads, and that you needed these warning labels.
Mel Brooks (not a Christian) once defined laughter in this way: "Tragedy is me cutting my finger. Comedy is you getting eaten by a tiger." Take that for what it's worth.
Oh, praise the Lord! Free Republic has a new ping list! And YOU can join it now! FReepmail me if you want to be added to The Free Republic PTL Ping List and HAIR Club!
This should never happen to anybody. Don't let this happen to you! Join the pinglist now!
So what are YOU waiting for? Join The Free Republic PTL Ping List and HAIR Club TODAY! FReepmail me for details!
PTL=Pardon The Laughing
HAIR=Hilariously Ablutionary Irreverent Reading
On the other hand all Liberals are humorless anti-semitic bluenoses, and that's somewhat news because they'd kept that anti-semitic stuff to themselves for a long time.
In my experience virtually all Freepers are joyful people, light of heart, and willing to tackle any hard job of analyzing the enemy's motives with a smile.
This is one of my most favorite articles from Lark News, largely because of it's esoteric, mischievous humor. Enjoy!
LOL!
Benny Hinn's hair is the biggest argument against his ability to "divinely heal." If he had the power to heal, you'd think he'd start with his own hair.
ROTFL! It's like a ramjet scoop for catching the Holy Spirit in!
LOL
Yeah, it's hard to take a guy seriously whose hair looks like it was fabricated out of titanium.
Hey Alex -- where did the article go?
BTW, Col. 2:6 is one of my favorite verses...How do we walk in Christ? The same way we received Him in the first place -- by grace through faith. It's not that hard, and if Christians would get this into their skulls, it would put legalistic preachers out of business.
While it's perfectly alright to make fun of the Catholics, you need to lay off the Evangelicals...
yep...I get a kick out of a fat preacher preachin on the evils of smoking...
But like the article says, killing your body with saturated fat is acceptable...
CC&E
CC&E
Well, you know what I think? There's no way they've figured Revelation out -- THEY look stupid, not us!!!
BTW, add me to your ping list.
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"To get this kind of across-the-board agreement is phenomenal," said a spokesman. "Moments like this come along once in a millenium."