[Ichneumon]

They found grapevines over two inches think in the area, of which the DNA from the grapes is the oldest known to man.

Okay, I'll bite -- what in the heck does "oldest DNA known to man" mean, and how do you "date" DNA?

I'm familiar with a very large number of dating methods, as well as multiple analytical techniques to extract various kinds of information from DNA, but this just sounds like total mumbo-jumbo.

[Doctor Stochastic]

..., and how do you "date" DNA? ...

You start by finding 29 dimensions of similarity.