God Bless Those Baptist Sea Monkeys

The Sacred Sandwich ^ | October 1, 2005:

[dangus]

Oh, good, you're bottom line question is worded in such a way, I can give a clear, simple, absolute answer:

No, works do NOT merit our salvation. Absolutely not.

[Gamecock]

Two ministers from two small churches enjoyed lunch together every Tuesday. One Tuesday afternoon, as the minister of the First Baptist Church sat enjoying his lunch, the second younger minister of the Methodist Church, came in and sat at his booth to ask some friendly advise:

The Baptist Minister: What on earth could be troubling you on this glorious day my brother?

Methodist Minister: Well, brother, you see....I believe that someone has stolen my bicycle, and my church cannot afford to replace it, let alone get me a car.
Baptist Minister: Stolen? Are you certain?

Methodist Minister: I'm afraid so, and now I'll have to walk to make my rounds and minister to the sick and elderly.

Baptist Minister: I'll tell you what you can do-next Sunday I want you to preach on the 10 Commandments....and when you do so, I want you to bear down with conviction on "Thou Shalt Not Steal." I want you to make them smell the brimstone and feel the flames. That'll get your bicycle back.

The Methodist pastor thought about the advice and said "I'll do just that!"

A week passed,and Tuesday afternoon once again found the Baptist Minister sitting in the usual spot at the dinner, A look of elation breaking over his face as the Methodist minister arrives on his bicycle and comes in to sit down.

Baptist Minister: Glory be in Heaven my brother! Another soul has been saved from the clutchs of the Devil! Why are you not rejoicing in their repentance?

Methodist Minister, looking down at the table: It didn't really turn out as I planned..

Baptist Minister: How so? Did you not preach on The Ten Commandments? Did you not Bear down on The Lord's forbiddance of Theft and put the fear of Hellfire into the souls of the lost sheep?

Methodist Minister: Yes.....I did as you said.....but....

Baptist Minister: But?

Methodist Minister: When I got to the part about "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" I remembered where I left my bicycle.

[topcat54]

No, works do NOT merit our salvation. Absolutely not.

Then why would you take issue with the concept of "faith alone"? What alternative does not involve works of merit?

[dangus]

>> Then why would you take issue with the concept of "faith alone"? <<

Because it's not faith alone! I said it wasn't by works that we could merit salvation, but that doesn't mean we can merit salvation by faith. "Not by works" doesn't equate to "entirely by faith." For while Paul said that works without faith is meaningless, he also said, "[if] I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing."

It's grace alone! The whole faith vs. works is a false dichotomy which pitted Paul against James. Faith and works are fruits from the same tree: Grace. That is why Paul writes, "[if] I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing."

The historical context of the dispute over "faith alone" isn't a dispute with Calvinists; it was a dispute over whether mankind should "fear no sin," as Luther said; and whether Luther was justified in striking the book of James from the bible because he couldn't reconcile it with his beliefs.

[dangus]

??? I was hoping an explanation of that screenshot was forthcoming...

By the way, Jedi are Jesuits. :^D I'm actually sorta half serious... In Empire, Luke even DRESSES like a Jebi*. (Did you know "Jebi" is an old nickname for Jesuits?) Lucas has many combined many mystical traditions into his Jedi, including Eastern ones. Joseph Campbell, who studied the Jesuits at great lengths, essentially is the creator of the Jedi religion, or at least as it stood throughout the original trilogy.

Besides, what other celibate order would be stupid enough to put Anakin, experiencing the pressures of coming into adulthood, alone, unchaperoned, with a beautiful young woman, with the future of the galaxy at stake? C'mon, you don't think Tibetan monks would be that stupid, do you?

(*Of course, if I'm going to infer that he's a Jesuit just by the way he dresses, I guess that means Obi Wan and the little sand critters from the first movie must be Franciscans. Huhheheehehee!)

[dangus]

Since we're picking on Methodists...

Ya know what the difference is between a Catholic and a Methodist is?

The Catholic will wave to you when they see you in a licquor store. :^D

[Gamecock]

Why don't free will Baptists make love standing up?

'fraid it might lead to dancing

[Alex Murphy]

I was hoping an explanation of that screenshot was forthcoming

It's a screenshot from a Chinese bootleg of REVENGE OF THE SITH that hit the streets only a few weeks after the film came out in theatres. The scene is where Anakin is telling Obi-Wan that he was just placed on the Jedi Council of Elders (Presbyterian = Elders, Church = Council). For what it's worth, the title "Revenge of the Sith" itself was mistranslated as THE BACKSTROKE OF THE WEST.

I grabbed the screenshot last year, from a website that discussed the bootleg film's wacky subtitles at length. The blog is still there, but the screenshots appear to be missing:
http://winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html

[Gamecock]

I was wondering.

[BJClinton]

There are no Lutheran animals.


Have you ever seen an animal make a casserole?

[Alex Murphy]

HGave you ever seen an animal make a cassarole?

I don't think it's possible to make a cassarole without an animal!