You're right, and it's difficult to get people to hear the word by first informing them that God expects them to be holy.
I think that preaching God's love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness through the shed blood of Christ on the Cross works more to get people to be "holy" than all the sermons about sin, judgment, and holiness do.
My wife's love for me, kindness to me, her forgiveness of my stupidities, and her daily sacrifices on my behalf have done more to keep me in love with her than any amount of nagging or pointing out of my mistakes and faults could have accomplished.
There are two things that need to be taught:
One Jesus loves you.
Two Jesus says "Follow me. Do what I tell you to do." And he means it
If you only do number one, then you get stuck where Gene Robinson is, sometimes, thinking that God validates you where you are and you don't have to grow.
But, you should be wanting to follow Jesus if you are his.
Therefore gird up your minds, be sober, set your hope fully upon the grace that is coming to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in all your conduct; since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy." (I Peter 1:13-16) RSV,
Jesus says, "Come unto me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest," but he also says "Why do you call me `Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you?"
Because he chose to suffer and die and was ressurected, we have a refuge. Because he chose to become man in all things but sin, he knows what our struggles are like, and has mercy on us. But also, because he's been here, done that, he knows that with his help we can become a holy people, and tells us how to live to do that.
So, if you are only being taught God is Love, and not God expects you to be holy, you are only getting part of the message.