That was my first impression of Calvinism, too. A smug attitude of "see how right I am, see how wrong you are." Let's face it, we're still struggling with the excretia of the "englightenment."
One hopeful sign is the proliferation of churches that combine traditional calvinism (i.e. -- rooted in historic Christianity) with charismatic gifts (relevent to people today). My church, King's Park International Church, belongs to one of these hybrid denominations, Every Nation International.
Although there are barriers to my ever going "back to Rome," I cherish my fellow Christians in that communion, and rejoice in the work of scholars like Luke TImothy Johnson, Leon Podles, and E. Michael Jones.
I suppose that is a step forward. Often times, it seems to be one or the other. Either people will rely on faith at the total ignoring of logic and reason, or go the opposite direction, over-relying on logic and forgeting about the Spirit's gifts and mystery.
Brother in Christ