al Qaeda Claims Responsibility for Common Worship, Alternative Services

Rich Anglican Fudge (with Nuts) ^ | 7/19/2005 | RAFwN

[sionnsar]

(Lambeth Palace) - The Archbishop of Canterbury has issued an encyclical asserting that al Qaeda has claimed responsibility for the Book of Common Worship in the UK and the Book of Alternative Services in Canada. The text of the statement is below:

Rowan Douglas by Divine Providence Archbishop of Canterbury Primate and Metropolitan to all to whom these presents shall come Greeting

A high ranking member of the al Qaeda network has contacted Lambeth Palace through inter-office carrier mongoose claiming responsibility for two of our most hated worship texts.

The letter stated that the creation of these worship books was done out of retaliation for the involved churches support of 1980s rock music, and the glam-rock members from Journey. More action has been threatened, including forcibly confining communicants in small rooms with Frank Griswold, being moved to the diocese of Connecticut and taking the role of bishop of French Guiana.

The Church of England takes these threats seriously and has, as such, elevated our liturgical revision level to high or stale incense. I ask that all constituent priests abstain from the use of Common Worship or the BAS until such time as these claims can be substantiated.

In the meantime, it has been brought to my attention that there is an obscure, little known book called Common Prayer that Canon Kearon and I are currently evaluating in order to find another authorized order of worship for our churches.

More information will be posted on the Anglican Communion website later this week.

In your service, I remain,

+Rowan Cantuar

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[maryz]

al Qaeda has claimed responsibility for the Book of Common Worship in the UK and the Book of Alternative Services in Canada.

LOL! Devastating (I love it!). I wonder when they'll claim responsibility for the worst of the Novus Ordo.

[Grampa Dave]

Thanks. BOL. I just sent it to all of my E friends with a sense of humor.

[Grampa Dave]

Thanks. BOL. I just sent it to all of my E friends with a sense of humor.

[plushaye]

"al Qaeda has claimed responsibility for the Book of Common Worship in the UK and the Book of Alternative Services in Canada."

I don't know much about the first but I found out about the latter just last Sunday on vacation. I attended a BAS service for the first time and the consensus within the family was it was horrible. It was far worse than I expected it to be, having been used to the old-style BCP service. The BAS jumps all over the place, the wording isn't good, and the confession of sin before communion is optional (!!). I will never willingly attend a BAS service again, because it was more like a BS one, if you know what I mean. This won't be that difficult because I have left the Anglican Church of Canada last year because the heretics in leadership.