Why I am an Episcopalian and Why that Frightens Me

While I have spent my whole life in God’s Church, I have not spent my whole life as an Episcopalian, having made this choice seventeen years ago. Some people are, as they say, “cradle born” Episcopalians (my children would be in this category though the category is a misnomer for, indeed, no one is “cradle born” into a denomination. We are cradle born sinful humans, become baptized into God’s Holy Church and then, later in life, become confirmed in a denomination), but often take for granted the gift they have inherited. While I know many life-long Episcopalians who are also deeply committed Christians, I unfortunately know many who have the Episcopal Church as their heritage, but really know little about its historic roots and have little commitment to its theological foundation. For these, engagement in the life of the Episcopal Church has more to do with family tradition than with personal commitment. It’s a bit like my Jewish friend, Dale, who lives in New York. Dale is very proud to tell you he is a Jew, though he really knows less about the Jewish faith than I do, and has no depth of commitment to Judaism as a religion. Judaism is his ethnic heritage but has no real impact on how he lives his daily life. For me, the Episcopal (Anglican) tradition is not a matter of heritage but of personal faith commitment.

I struggled in prayer and study for five long years before choosing the Episcopal Church, knowing that that choice would have life-long consequences for me and my children. I chose the Episcopal Church basically because, as a Methodist, I read too much of John Wesley (Wesley was the founder of Methodism, and an Anglican priest). Wesley’s commitment to the Prayer Book, to daily Eucharist, and to the historic roots of Anglicanism was an inspiration to me. I didn’t want any longer to be a part of an American denomination which had no commitment to the historic Church, and no clear standard for its liturgy and theology. I became an Episcopalian, then, for three reasons: 1) I wanted a church that was committed to the historic Christian faith. Anglicanism, more than any other “Protestant” tradition, seemed rooted in the classical Biblical tradition of the ancient church. Here was a Protestant manifestation of the Church which had not cut itself off from its Catholic roots. Here was a church that was not some fly-bynight American denomination, but an honorable tradition thoroughly established in the ancient faith. 2) I wanted a church with Eucharist at the center. I believe, as I think the New Testament teaches, that Holy Eucharist is the normal means of God’s grace. While God can make His grace available in many ways,we know that Scripture promises that in the breaking of the bread He not only reveals Himself to us, but feeds us spiritually with His grace. Clearly, this Holy Meal was the centerpiece of early Christian worship for this very reason, and I believe was intended by God to be the foundation of Christian community. 3) I wanted a church that had a liturgical standard, The Book Of Common Prayer, with a clear biblical basis (more than 70% of the Prayer Book comes directly from Scripture), and roots in the practices of the early Christian Church. A liturgical standard not only binds a large body of people together in “common prayer,” but gives a foundation and sets limits for what is and is not acceptable in worship and theology.These are the basic foundation stones that led me to the Episcopal Church.

It was a long process of study and prayer for me to become an Episcopalian, and an equally long process from membership to priesthood. Because the Methodist Church was not feeding me spiritually, I had been going back and forth between the two churches for several years. I would attend the early service at the Episcopal Church, then dash over to the Methodist Church just in time to vest and preside at their 9:00 service. In time I knew I could no longer lead this dual life, and I made the decision to leave Methodism. I visited an Episcopal bishop who was very kind but told me that because the Episcopal Church didn’t know me, he could not assure me that I would ever be a priest, but if I wanted to become a member of the Episcopal Church he would be happy to have me. (In other words, give up your job as a Methodist minister, become an Episcopalian and we’ll look you over for a while and decide if we’ll let you in the process for priesthood. Even though I had already received degrees from Vanderbilt- a Methodist school- and Berkeley Divinity at Yale University- an Episcopal school- my process would have to be just like someone straight out of college.) So, I surrendered orders in the Methodist Church (i.e., I had to be “honorably discharged” as a clergyman), costing me a number ofMethodist clergy friends who felt I was deserting them (I was serving in the largest Methodist Church in South Carolina and they assumed that I felt that this wasn’t good enough). I went through a catechumenal process for membership in an Episcopal Church and was confirmed. With confirmation I lost not only a job and income, but insurance, pension, and a place to live (we had lived in a Methodist parsonage). We were left as a couple with a newborn baby, no income, no housing, but a clear faith that God had led us into this church. I searched for several weeks for a secular job while our small savings account dwindled. We found a little house to rent, but could not get insurance coverage. In these first weeks we felt greatly tested because our car had a flat tire which we couldn’t afford to repair, and our oil tank ran out of oil leaving us sleeping with our newborn in front of the fireplace in the living room. Finally, the parish I had joined fired their Director of Christian Education and offered me the job. I took the job and found myself responsible for Adult Education, Children’s Education, Youth Ministry, and Acolyte Training in a parish of 3800 members for a salary of $1,200. per month (plus insurance)! I then began a process for Holy Orders and two years later was ordained an Episcopal priest.

I tell you this long story to have you know that being an Episcopalian is not something I have ever taken for granted because it came for me at great sacrifice, and only after years of study and prayer. I have worked hard to be a priest in this church, and to raise my children in it, which is why I am now so deeply distraught over the many changes that have begun to reshape the Episcopal Church. The changes that concern me have to do with so much more than homosexuality. Major theological shifts have taken place in the American Episcopal Church which have deeply undermined its place in the larger Anglican Communion. The classic theological rootedness which drew me to the Episcopal Church has all but been replaced at the national level by a trendy American theology rooted in cultural experience rather than historic faith. The commitment to Eucharist and the liturgical standard of the Prayer Book seem farcical as many parishes clearly disregard the liturgy altogether, and have so learned to read the creeds and Eucharistic rites from a metaphorical perspective that they have no real meaning. As a result I find myself in ongoing turmoil.

On the one hand, I feel I chose this church, love this church, and want to fight for it; yet, on the other hand, I feel this church has abandoned the very foundation of Christian faith and its own heritage and has no hope for redemption. So what do I do? Personally, I don’t know what to do, so I am waiting for God. I pray, read about and study the theological issues that are before us, and pay clear attention to what is happening politically at the international level. And I wait to see what God will do with His Church.

Since part of this faithful waiting is listening, your vestry and I have created a process for listening that will, over the next six months, involve education, conversation, and prayer.

• We have already provided a summary of the Windsor Report (Fr. Petty created a written summary and I offered a verbal analysis, both of which are available in written or recorded form in the parish office). • In this issue of Proclamation! the clergy and some members of the vestry have written articles expressing their concerns or clarifying the issues that are before us.

• Before the end of the month we will make a packet of articles available written by scholars and priests throughout the American Church and the larger Anglican Communion that represent a clear picture of the theological shift that is taking place in our church. • We will invite orthodox priests from the larger Episcopal Church into our pulpit to share their perspectives and to encourage us with the Gospel. • We will host a conference in the winter for our region which will bring significant voices from the larger Anglican Communion together to shed light on the theological issues that are before us and answer questions you may have. • We will create a series of “cottage meetings” hosted by me and by each member of the vestry to be held in vestry homes and here in the parish house to hear what you are thinking and feeling about the life of this parish and the larger Episcopal Church.

In many ways this is a very exciting time in that God has given us the opportunity with this crisis to dig down and work through the commitments of our faith, and to stand together more than we ever have before for the truth entrusted to us.

Oh and my mother told me that the Episcopalian Church was the US branch of the Church of England. Is my mother wrong?

(You can tell me my mother is wrong, I won't be disillusioned or anything)

***made this choice seventeen years ago***

Let's see, 17 years ago was 1988. the Episcopal Church was solidly liberal.

***I became an Episcopalian, then, for three reasons:
1) I wanted a church that was committed to the historic Christian faith.
2) I wanted a church with Eucharist at the center.
3) I wanted a church that had a liturgical standard, The Book Of Common Prayer, with a clear biblical basis... and roots in the practices of the early Christian Church.****

Hmmm, sounds like the Episcopal Church..... YEA RIGHT!

***I am now so deeply distraught over the many changes that have begun to reshape the Episcopal Church***

Wake up time!!! These "changes" were well under way in the 70's!

Sounds like this guy didn't do his research and is suffering from buyer's remorse.

(Do lemon laws apply to churches?)

Really, he should have known what he was getting into.

but thats what I learned in school.

Surely you didn't learn this in school, "little girl":

then he beheaded his next 5 wives.

It's simply not true.

Sounds like this guy didn't do his research and is suffering from buyer's remorse.

I'd give him a break, at least initially. A lot of this is hidden at the parish level, and the Internet as we know it didn't exist then (and not a lot of people even knew about Usenet). However, by the time he'd reached the priesthood he must have known.

This was a very good and moving read.

The classic theological rootedness which drew me to the Episcopal Church has all but been replaced at the national level by a trendy American theology rooted in cultural experience rather than historic faith. The commitment to Eucharist and the liturgical standard of the Prayer Book seem farcical as many parishes clearly disregard the liturgy altogether, and have so learned to read the creeds and Eucharistic rites from a metaphorical perspective that they have no real meaning. As a result I find myself in ongoing turmoil.

Excepting that I'm nowhere near the caliber of this individual, he speaks for this Roman Catholic who is also frightened.

Theres another type of Roman Catholic, Mel Gibsons branch that rejects the pope's changes- and only recognises the pope up to a certain point,

And then of course, you could learn Greek and convert to Greek Orthodox, or one of the 5 Bzyantine Eastern branches.

I know there are a few variants, but one can't be just a wee bit with the Pope. It's kind of all or nothing. And, as a RC, you are warned that any willful deviation from the Church's prescribed teachings, as defined by the Pope, results in your self-excommunication which more than likely will result in your eternal damnation, should you not be made to see the error of your ways, repent, reject and return. It's quite a kettle o' fish! ( ; < )

My son, while he was in 6th grade, had to memorize the Apostle's Creed for Sunday school. We belong to St. Johns in DC, where our President worships BTW, as PC a church as Episcopals get.

He learned the first rite version. And when he recited it that next week he was told he was wrong. I'm still bitter to this day.

The Episcopalian Church was founded because Henry the 8th a gluttonous monarch who bankrupted the England wanted to divorce his wife, and then he beheaded his next 5 wives.

True enough.

At one time or another, there have been downright slugs at the helm of every denominational branch. Corrupt popes, corrupt Episcopalian leaders, corrupt Baptist leaders. Across the board, Christ's church has suffered from leaders that didn't treat her with the respect she deserved - but that has no bearing on the truth or falsity of Christianity.

*** I'd give him a break, at least initially. ***

Yea, your probably right. I guess I was a bit harsh. As an Anglican returning to America in '91 it was readily apparent to me that the ECUSA had been overwhelm by a form of liberalism far worse that what I had seen in Europe. (Anglicanism on the Continent still seemed like the old liberals. ECUSA seemed to be onto a new, post-liberal, liberalism.)

His statement:
"Even though I had already received degrees from Vanderbilt- a Methodist school- and Berkeley Divinity at Yale University- an Episcopal school-"

indicated to me that he was already swimming in the larger world of theology. He must have had his eyes closed. Either that, or growing up in the Methodist church kept him from recognizing the dangers of liberalism.

Oh, yes, you are so right. I became an Episcopalian 32 years ago. I have been in the same parish, 5 different priests, last two women, but very good.

I only became conscious of what was going on in the last 4 or 5 years.

I just knew I loved my parish and still do.

Please don't bother to tell me that I am a heretic by staying in the church. (Unless, of course, you left the United States when Clinton was President and the dems were in charge.)

I didn't mean you, sionnsar, with the comment about heretic.

I just know that there are always some people on these threads who start attacking anyone who says they are staying in ECUSA.

It is totally uncalled for as many, many Episcopalians are very conservative and very spiritual. I don't plan to abandon the church, but I do pray every day that Frank will grow up and get some sense.

The diocese of Dallas no longer sends money to the nat'l church. Some parishes wanted to, some didn't. They got tired of the bookkeeping and have now proclaimed that if a parish wants money to go to ECUSA, they should just reserve it from their diocese donation and send it directly.

The winds of change are blowing and when they blow away the chaff, I'll still be here in my dear little church.

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