In contrast to this, we may feel anger at our kids when they transgress, but we are able to put the anger aside and correct them calmly and discipline them as necessary and helpful, without losing ourselves in the emotion of anger.
Anger can be a sign that something is wrong, but we must quickly observe it, use reason to pass judgement on ourselves and clarify the situation, then act calmly and lovingly to correct the situation if need be.
I think we must detach from emotional situations--see ourselves as not "of" them in order to react righteously to events. We feel passionate, emotional, rageful when we take things personally--to put it colloquially. The anger we might feel at an unjust situation--racist remarks, for instance--should quickly resolve into a loving correction and a realization that we are as sinful as the one toward whom we feel anger.
Of course, all this is easier said than done. I find myself feeling more anger at total strangers than at anyone I know--Democrats, for instance, and other drivers. I have to pray constantly for detachment--for not seeing anything that occurs in my life as ultimately important and for recognizing that God is in charge of all things. Then I can either let things go or work in a rational way to correct them.
"When you pray as you ought, there may come into your mind things about which it seems right to be angry with your brother. There is absolutely no anger against your brother which could be justified. If you look, you will find that the question can be settled quite well without anger. Therefore do your best not to be moved to anger."