It has to be one of the strangest things in the world: So many Christians who love Jesus with all their hearts recoil in fear at the mention of His mother’s name, while many who do love her find themselves tongue-tied when asked to explain why.
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The confusion lies pretty much in a couple bad common assumptions.
The first is that these people are Christians. They aren't. One cannot be a Christian while yet denying Christ in the Blessed Sacrament or while not honoring His mother.
The second is that they "...love Jesus with all their hearts..." They don't. They can't possibly love Him while yet holding in disdain the greatest gift of His presence in the Blessed Sacrament or the gift of His mother to the Universal Church.
They do not know Him.
The only entities that have cause to recoil in fear at the mention of Mary's name are the demons and those who are under their influence. They attack Mary because the focus of their attack is actually the Incarnation. Even they know how things work: as we know that we can find favor with Christ through His mother, they know that conversely, they can attack Christ by attacking His mother.
They want an etherial Jesus which can be molded to their personal ideas and lifestyles. They want a Gumby Jesus that will stretch to fit their needs, because they don't want to have to stretch in submission to an immutable and incarnate Jesus.
The Incarnation: that's the real object of their hatred, and more to the point, Christ crucified. That's where they part company, as back at the time of His Passion, and when He offered His flesh for the life of the world and they called Him crazy. Mary is the first and finest Tabernacle of the Blessed Sacrament; she housed the Redeemer in more ways than one, and for that, she's an accessory and a target.
Face it; these people do not know Christ. Sounds harsh? A lot of the Saints say the same thing in their writings, and a whole lot more pointedly.
My sincere hope is that they find Christ. He is always with His mother. They need to just accept it. Sometimes it isn't a matter of being tongue-tied; sometimes its just a matter of wasted time, or pearls before swine.